REVIEW | Kirby Planet Robobot – Pelvic Gaming

0:00 – This is the most normal I’ve ever seen her look.  Good job, Pelvic Gamer.

0:15 – “Special thanks to Daniel for gifting me — last year for my birthday.  Finally got around to it.”

Do you feel good about yourself now, Daniel?  You gave Pelvic Gamer this video game, hoping that it would somehow lead to intercourse, and it took her an entire year before she bothered playing it.  And she only played it for the purposes of doing a Youtube video.

A new 3DS game cost about $40, right?  Go to your local red light district and say that you have forty bucks.  You can definitely get a blowjob.  Maybe even intercourse.  As a horny guy who has no hope of getting a girlfriend, wouldn’t that be a better use of your money?  

I mean, you got NOTHING with this.  Don’t you feel like a total fool?  

I had a roommate from Poland who really enjoyed spending time with the prostitutes.  He was a young guy, like 24 or something, and he was always looking for women.  He would want me to go to the pub with him so that he could try to pick up chicks but the pubs we were going to didn’t really have women in them.  

And I remember an awkward exchange when he was buying clothes.  We were at the cheapest clothing store in the country and he’s trying on a cheap jacket and he turns to the harried saleswoman and says, “Does this look good?” and she gave him a weird look and said, “Yeah” and sped away.

He showed me a picture of his ex-girlfriend from when he lived in Poland.  Smoking hot.  How he pulled that off, I have no idea.  He wasn’t a looker.  

So yeah, he’d go to prostitutes.  His English was good but he didn’t think it was good.  One day, he hands me his phone and tells me to get the address of the person he’s speaking to.  I didn’t want to do this but he keeps shoving the phone to me.  So I’m talking to this woman and I have no idea what this is about so after about a minute I tell her that I don’t even know what this is and I give the phone back to him.  He’s laughing through all of this.  

He was just a weird guy.  A weird, lonely guy.  But at least he wasn’t giving his money to “Youtubers” and getting nothing in return.  If you’re hopelessly lonely and need human contact, go to fucking Craiglist or whatever.  They don’t still have prostitute ads, though, do they?  That’s long gone, I think.  Well, do your own research.  The women are out there and they’ll suck your dick for the price of a video game.

Anyway, back to the video.  She’s just talking about the game.  It’s fine.  I guess.  At least it’s not a fucking JRPG for a change.

2:00 – Oh god no.  She’s going to do some weird cosplay.  I…umm…it’s some kind of Power Rangers…spoof?  I guess that’s the word.  And you see close ups of…Pelvic Gamer…in like…a spandex bodysuit.  Oh my god no.  Please stop.  

Then she becomes…”Mecha Pelvic”.  Please no.  This is not happening.  

Oh…wait…what?  There wasn’t even a reason for this.  After that horrible imagery, she just said, “Kirby is in a mech”.  So…that whole Power Ranger thing…what?  The Power Ranger weren’t mechs.  Oh fuck.  This is…just why?  She does this shit to try to titilate the horndogs but…come on.  Who’s getting off on this?  I guess we’ll find out when I check the comments.

4:45 – Oh god no.  She’s back with her Mecha Pelvic costume.  This is just cruel.

Fortunately, it was just for a few seconds.

7:00 – Oh…back to Mecha Pelvic.  How much time did she spend on this?  It’s just cardboard boxes but this had to be several hours.  

Well, it’s over.  I’m thankful for that.

Kirby.  I only played the Nintendo 64 game.  Briefly.  On an emulator.  Many years ago.  It was possibly the easiest game that I ever played.  I couldn’t even understand it.  What’s the fucking challenge here?  It’s a game for toddlers, presumably.  So I never investigated any of the other Kirby games.


– “omg now I understand the pic you posted on twitter with the pink suit lmaooo”

– “Very creative presentation, Lady. :)”

– “didnt’ expect the cardboard dressup – towtansua”

– “That mecha transformation… and the theme XD”

– “Definitely dig the costume!”

So who was jerking off to this costume?  Everyone, it seems.  Like half the comments are about this costume.  I can’t even keep posting them.

But…I mean…whatever.  It takes all kinds, I guess.

3 thoughts on “REVIEW | Kirby Planet Robobot – Pelvic Gaming

  1. You ever watch that power/rangers unlicensed reboot video that was making the rounds a few years ago? Its got the Dawson in it. And the chick from battlestar. I loved power rangers when I was like 11. Shits gay as fuck now. The real movie sucked. Fucking crispy cream!!! They need to quit that shit and give more money to the asshole who did the reboot. People dont want good shit. They just want familiar shit. I could go the rest of my life without feeling nostalgic. I dont understand. Man I love thinking back to when I was happy and didn't want to kill myself on the daily… yeah remember that? Idiots. Yeah that pelvic ranger mecha shit was dumb as fuck.

  2. I was like 15 when Power Rangers started so I never watched any of that shit. I might have seen one full episode. I remember that villain with the pointy bra and I have a vague idea of the premise and the formulaic plot structure but that's it. I watched a couple episodes of Big Bad Beetleborgs, though, because there was that character who looked like Jay Leno and I wanted to see what that was all about.

  3. Lol yeah big bad beetle borgs was nuts. I watched some black dude on syfy talk about it for like 20 minutes. I know i daw it but I dont remember any of that wacky shit.

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