Gamer Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV9QDquBtX4

When did she first play this game?  Let me look this up.

25 June.  I did a review of it four days later.

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/06/my-first-time-playing-castlevania.html

So about a month ago.  She first played this game a month ago.  On stream, for money, of course.

And now she’s going to tell all of us gaming noobs about…well, in fairness, she didn’t even label this a “top ten”.  This is just “any ten”, effectively.  “Here are ten enemies in the game.”  That’s stupid in itself.

Stop and think about this.  She played the game for about…I don’t know…three hours?  Four?

Would you do a video where you talk about your favourite enemies in a game that you played for FOUR HOURS?  And especially such an old game that many people are very familiar with.

Mike promoted this on the “community” tab of the Cinemassacre channel.

Mike here! Are you a fan of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night? Check out Erin Play’s new video about her top 10 favorite enemies in the game!

So he describes it as a “top 10”.  I mean, that is what’s implied.  Why would somebody just mention ten random enemies?

And yeah, Mike has to mention that it’s him when he does these comments now.  He must have got told off for effectively trying to fool people into thinking that it was James writing these things from the Cinemassacre account.  He did that regularly up until…I don’t know…a year ago, maybe?

One guy replies with: “onlyfans; what is it; make one; you’ll be rich; Rich I tell you”.  It was in five different messages, I just put them all together.  And then Erin says “no”.  So he comes back with, “Trust me, I know some 30$ a month paying simps. I’m not one of them… For you I’d probably go as far as be willing to go about 5$. Nudes only”.  Just kind of funny.

So let’s…check this out, I guess.  The Top Ten Enemies in Castlevania Symphony of the Night.  By a woman who played the game for four hours.  For money.

0:00 – What the fuck?  She starts this with an advertisement.  And in the comments, she pinned her comment where she links to the company and the link has a referral thing in it.  This is pathetic.

And her “commercial” was an abomination.  “(company) makes aesthetically pleasing designs for both men and women who want to show their love for all things retro.”

Let’s hope that they didn’t pay for this.  Her videos get like 15,000 views unless Mike promotes them, then they get…not much more.  The He-Man video only got 30,000.

0:15 – “So after completing Castlevania, Dracula’s Curse, Castlevania IV, Rondo of Blood, Bloodlines, and Chronicles, I thought it would be time to finally play Castlevania Symphony of the Night.”

All on stream, for money.  She always neglects to say that.  And on easy mode.  And with cheat codes.  And in at least one of these games, she only beat the game with Mike’s assistance.

Haha.  I’m just thinking about this.  She honestly played these games with cheat codes and considers that “beating the game”.  And Mike got her through a level that she couldn’t beat and she includes that too.  It’s ridiculous.

“The things I liked most about this game were the music and the attention to detail of the beautiful backgrounds to the stages.”

She does enjoy pointing out shit in the background.  What about the gameplay?  Is it any fun or…what?  No.  Not to Erin.  She has absolutely no interest in video games.

0:30 – “I also really enjoyed the familiars, especially the fairie.”

Oh.  Cute.

0:45 – “I also thought it was cute how she’d sit on your shoulder if you took too long to get going.”

Mm hmm.  Good commentary, Erin.

1:00 – “I thought it would be fun to do a list of ten of the best Symphony of the Night enemies.”

So it is a top ten list.  Right?  Why is it so ambiguous?  “ten of the best” isn’t quite the same as “the ten best”.  She wants to give the impression that this is a top ten video but still have a way out.  “I didn’t technically call this a top ten video”.

“This list isn’t in any specific order.”

It’s just bad.  This is all bad.  It’s a half-assed top ten list but it’s not a top ten list it’s just whatever and she only played the game for four hours.  On stream, for money.

Mike is promoting this piece of shit?  THIS is the video that’s going to make Erin a retro gaming superstar?  It’s a fucking joke.

There are women right now, who actually enjoy playing video games, and are producing good video game “content”.  Well…theoretically. I’ve yet to come across any.  But Erin thinks that she’s going to win Youtube with this trash video.

Every one of these gamer grrls who I cover, with the exception of Retro Ali, produce better content than Erin.  Way better.  But we’re supposed to watch fucking Erin’s shit videos?

And people are watching this to jerk off.  Hey, guys, check out the other channels.  They’re all more attractive.

I’d have sex with any of these other gamer grrls over Erin.  Even Pelvic Gamer.  Well…no, I’m sticking with that.  I’m pretty sure that that’s right.  Erin doesn’t do it for me.  At all.

What the fuck is she offering?  Some of the worst content on Youtube and…I’m not jerking off to this stuff.  I’m not jerking off to any “Youtuber”.  It’s just insane.  None of this makes sense.

2:30 – “Fun fact alert!”

Then she gives some information that she got from Wikipedia and/or Mike Matei.  Something about Kurt Vonnegut.  Is this supposed to be “edgy” or intellectual or what?

Oh my god.  Then she fucking puts a Kurt Vonnegut quote on the screen.  And she cites the Castlevania wiki as a reference.  Or whatever the “fandom” page, whatever that is.  Like Wikipedia, I guess.  This is unbelievable.  She never read any of these fucking books.

I want to see some literary videos from Erin.  She has a degree in English, after all.  Allegedly.  “I never read this before!”

Then she thanks her Twitch chat for giving her this piece of information.  It’s fucking shit.

3:00 – She cites Dracula’s Curse as one of her “favourite games of all time.”  She first played it about…a year ago, maybe?  Maybe not even that long ago.  And she played it probably…for about six hours total.  Always on stream, for money, of course.  It’s her “favourite game of all time”.  Or one of them, at least.  Again, she leaves herself some wiggle room.

A game that I played for six fucking hours wouldn’t make it to…I mean…NOBODY PLAYS VIDEO GAMES LIKE THIS!  You don’t just fucking play them on stream, for money.  This is not what ANYONE who enjoys video games does.  And then to have the nerve to say, “This game that I played for six hours is my all time favourite” is fucking disgusting.  This is an insult to my intelligence.  She does not play these fucking games.  Who gives a fuck what her favourite game is when SHE DOESN’T PLAY VIDEO GAMES.

It’s like me giving a list of my top ten favourite 1990s boy bands.  Well, Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block…ummm…whatever.  Just those two.  I don’t know anything about this shit.  So my opinion on the subject is totally useless.

But then I’m going to go on fucking Youtube and start making videos where I talk about how hot the gay guy from Backstreet Boys was.  And how my favourite song of all time is fucking Mmm Bop by Hanson.

I’d get called out.  “What the fuck are you making these videos for?  You obviously don’t know anything about the subject.”

Not Erin.  Nobody is calling her out.  Why not?

5:00 – “The Tinman is actually kind of cute in a robot kind of way.”

She’s talking about an enemy in the game.  This is fucking stupid.

6:15 – She starts talking about Scarecrow from Batman.  There is no way that she knows anything about this.  But why is this surprising?  She’s making a video on a video game that she knows nothing about.  And she’s been doing this same thing for three years now.

Then she makes a reference to the Nightmare on Elm Street NES game that she did a stream on.  Of course.  That’s the only way that she plays games.

6:30 – Yorrick.  She’s going to mention Shakespeare, right?  She’s obviously such a Kurt Vonnegut fan and with her English degree, she must get this reference, right?

No, she didn’t.  It’s a skeleton enemy who kicks his skull around.  She didn’t get the reference.

I never even read the fucking play or saw it performed or know anything about it.  But I got the reference.  What the fuck was she doing in those English classes?  Or just, you know, the general information that one picks up.

10:45 – “So there you have it.  My ten favourite enemies from Castlevania Symphony of the Night.”

So…it is a top ten.

“Did I miss any cool ones?”

Almost certainly.  You only played the game once.  On stream, for money.

This was total trash, as per usual.  But it was different from her other videos.  She obviously put more effort into this one.  She was giving like the Japanese names and trying to inject “trivia” that she got from her horny Twitch fans or Wikipedia or whatever.  But that just made it worse.  It makes it even less genuine than usual.  Because you know that she doesn’t know any of this shit.

– “Eris is my personal ideal of beauty.”

– “Omg thiccccccccccccccc”

– “Nice work Erin, you are a true YouTube champ and you have a winning smile!”

– “One of your best videos ever! :D”

That last one was from Shishi.

– “Mike your girlfriend is fucking hot”

– “Soundproof your room and maybe learn to not sound like ur reading off a script, and I might sub. Only here cuz James cant seem to stop spamming your channel in my feed :/”

Then Shishi replies, “You must be a lot of fun at parties!”

What a complete moron.  If you don’t like Erin’s atrocious videos, you’re a boring person!  Go jerk off to anime, you sick fuck.

– “Tell Mike to stop plugging your channel on Cinemasacre. Sorry but I didn’t sub to AVGN to get updates about Mike’s gf’s channel. Wtf?”

Erin replies, “Sometimes Mike also plugs Tony from Hack the Movies! He’s a good person supporting others. Isn’t that nice?”

At least she didn’t delete the comment.  But yeah, she clearly doesn’t even believe what she’s saying.  She’s being sarcastic.  How about supporting people who AREN’T fellating you?  I’m not 100% that Tony is doing that but still, how about promoting some channels of people who you aren’t in personal or business relationships with?

– “Avgn is showing us the first glimpse of his succesor. He’s finialky thinking about passing the torch.”

– “Ok so Mike from Cinemassacre just brought this to my attention. Please forgive my ignorance, bc I already feel stupid for not knowing, but why is Mike posting notifications for this channel. Is Erin Mike’s girlfriend? Does she work for Cinemassacre?”

Erin replies, “I am not a part of Cinemassacre. Sometimes Mike shares videos from people like myself or Tony from Hack the Movies!”

It’s absurd.  She can’t possibly believe this.  What kind of fucking answer is this?  At first I thought that she was obviously being sarcastic but she said the same thing again.

He’s not doing this because he’s a nice person.  He’s doing this because you’re in a butt sex for Youtube promotion arrangement.  It calls into question what Tony is doing to get these alleged promotions (by the way, I’ve never seen Tony’s channel getting promoted).  But nobody else is getting promoted.

If he was doing this because he’s a nice guy, why wouldn’t he promote somebody else’s channel?  Why is it always Erin (and, allegedly, Tony)?  How about some channels from people who you aren’t having sex with and/or doing weekly videos with?

– “She’s cute”

– “Erin you’re so cute! I love your style!”

These people who seem to enjoy the video, albeit mostly because they’re jerking off, seem to be on another planet.  It was a horrible video.  And I wasn’t remotely aroused.  I don’t get it.