Gamer Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_53kcCmteGg

0:00 – She’s in a Sailor Moon costume.  I guess.  Or just a generic Japanese school girl uniform.

0:30 – First question.  “What does it feel like to have as many followers as you do on your social media accounts?  And what is your favourite kind of content to create and why?”

She says that it feels normal to have 20,000 subscribers.  She says that she doesn’t know how to answer the question.  It’s true.  What the fuck is she going to say to that?  20,000 subscribers?  Who cares?

Her favourite kind of content is the Today in Retro videos.  Whatever those are.

Conspicuously absent in her answer: “reaction” videos.  That’s what she’s mainly known for.  When John Riggs did his Top Ten Hottest Babes of the Internet video, he described Retro Ali as a “reaction Youtuber”.  Or something.

So it seems that Ali doesn’t even like doing these stupid “reaction” videos but she knows that that’s the only thing that gets views so she continues with them.

1:30 – “What would you main pastime be if you weren’t an internet content creator…hobbies for instance…and would you try to monetise it?”

This is from the same guy who asked the first question.  It’s not terrible.  It might be the first semi-probing question that I’ve seen in these stupid Q&A videos.  Requires some introspection.  “If I wasn’t entertaining horny losers with my ‘reaction’ videos, what would I be doing with my time?”

Ali says that she was in school (college/university, presumably) for “design”.  She says that she’s a web designer.  “So I would be doing that probably as my job.  I don’t think that that would have changed.”

So…is she currently working as a web designer?  I mean…getting paid somehow, either as an employee or freelance?

Then she says that she was a music major so she’d probably be playing music a lot more.  I don’t quite get it.  Was she a music major and then changed to “design” or does she have a degree in music and then did some kind of course in “design”?  It doesn’t really matter.  We don’t need to know the minutia about Ali’s educational achievements.

She would also be drawing more.

She wouldn’t try to monetise them.

3:30 – “What are some of your non-gaming/streaming hobbies?”

She just answered this.  This could have been edited out.

4:00 – “How many Gameboys have you had and which one have you had the longest?”

Maybe this is just me but I’m reminded of like horny losers talking to porn stars on message boards or whatever and the question that always arises is, “What’s the biggest penis you ever took?”

Who cares?  What are you going to do with that information?

So who cares how many Gameboys Ali has?  Or which one she had the longest.  But let’s find out.

She got her Gameboys out and she’s going to show them.  Whatever.  It’s better than just saying a number, I guess.

I think it was eleven.   Great.

5:30 – “What is your most interesting video game find story?”

Again, maybe it’s just me but I’m reminded of the old “What’s the strangest place you’ve had sex” question.  Who cares?  But at least here I can understand somebody maybe getting off on this.  Depending on the answer, of course.

She just buys stuff locally or on the internet.  Oh . I’m totally flaccid here.

6:15 – “What was your first ever Pokemon plush?”

Some fucking Pikachu.  She shows it.  She also shows a Pokemon children’s book that she had since she was a child.

7:15 – “Favourite piece of retro hardware that you own?”

I’m really getting bored with this.  How about some non-“gaming” questions?  Ask her about “BLM”.  Or I’ll even accept something about her favourite “BLM games”?  Or if she ever had deep fried oysters.

Super Famicom.  That’s the answer.  Are you happy now?

Favourite piece of hardware.  Who the fuck has a favourite piece of hardware?

7:30 – “Favourite game that nobody has heard of?”

Nobody cares.  But her answer is “Some Japanese exclusive Gameboy games.”  Which ones in particular?  Who cares?

8:15 – “If you could re-live any gaming moment, what would it be?”

What is this shit?  Playing Pokemon for the first time.  Super.

8:45 – “What are your best memories growing up involving video games?”

You know what could have turned this question from something boring as fuck to something possibly endearing and interesting?  Remove the last three words.

Boy, I’m so *nostalgic* for that time when I sat on my ass for ten hours straight and played Final Fantasy.  No.  No sane person is *nostalgic* for playing video games.

Her answer is about playing video games with a neighbour.  So that’s not bad.  It’s more about spending time with her neighbour than playing games.

9:45 – “Do you enjoy streams as much as when you began?”

It’s just bad.

Her answer is “yes”.

Oh, wait.  No.  There’s a “hidden gem” here.

“Streaming really helps me just in life.  Like obviously not just, ‘Oh, I got paid’ but like from a mental health standpoint it helps me a lot.”

I don’t even want to comment on this.  I don’t fucking care.   Let’s move on.  Please give me one person who asks a non-“gaming” question.

“What’s one piece of advice you would give to yourself when you were first starting out on Twitch and Youtube?”

No.  That was the final question.  It was all trash.

What about the old, “What advice would you give to your younger self” question?  Couldn’t you just have said that?  Leave out the video game shit?

Does anyone honestly care about any of this shit?  These people seem to feel obligated to ask about video games.  What’s your favourite controller?  What’s your favourite button?  Do you like Pokemon?  Who cares?  Come on.

– “Congrats on 20k!”

You know who left that brainless comment?  JOHN RIGGS!  Here’s a screenshot for you, you desperate fuck.