June Retro Pickups | Ali's Retro Pickups – Retro Ali


Fucking Retro Ali.  Well…it’s only five minutes.  And nobody else is uploading.

Bobdunga hasn’t uploaded in three weeks and she set her Twitter to private.  Maybe she had another mental breakdown.  So many of these gamer grrls seems to have a tenuous grip on their sanity.  I can’t help but feel that they should be doing something else with their lives.  Like getting a job.

I’m a long time subscriber to Michael Ray Bower.  You might know him from such roles as Donkey Lips in Salute Your Shorts or the fat guy from Dude Where’s My Car.

So he uploads videos once in a while.  He’s been unemployed for many years.  I don’t mean just in acting, I mean generally.  He recently moved to a small studio apartment in “SoCal”.  The place doesn’t even have a kitchen.  I’ve never even heard of this.  So I found it interesting.  He does cooking videos sometimes but since he doesn’t have an oven or anything, it’s all done on a hot plate.

He’s one of these sensitive “I am an ar-teest” kind of guys.  He says straight up that he can’t work a regular job because he’s a creative type.  I’ve seen his writing on forums and his Patreon and whatever.  It’s extraordinarily poor.  He clearly didn’t receive an adequate education.

He’s a pleasant enough guy but…wouldn’t it be an idea to get a job?  He has health problems and he clearly is short of money.  No, he’s just going to continue to try to get an acting job.

I worked with a woman who was an “actor”.  Every day, she would come in and loudly remind everyone at least ten times that she’s an “actor”.  Everything she did was because she was an “actor”.  “I use a lot of fucking profanity because I’m an actor!”  She was obnoxious.  And the job most of us were doing was a job that attracted very reserved people.  So you have this loud bitch coming in every day screaming and yelling while people are trying to do some work.

So where could we see this “actor”?  She was in a “pantomime”.  This is a British term for “children’s Christmas play”.  I don’t know why they don’t just say “children’s Christmas play” but whatever.  They do like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves around Christmas time.  I don’t know why.  I don’t know what makes that a Christmas play.  But that’s what they do.

Anyway, she was fucking horrendous and I told my employer to keep me away from her or I’d quit the job.  They did that for the most part but I ended up quitting and moving away.

So what is this “actor” doing now?  Nothing!  Last time I checked Facebook, she’s fucking unemployed.  And she hasn’t set the acting scene on fire.  She’s doing NOTHING.  And she’s in her mid 30s now.  It’s not happening.

It’s all indicative of mental illness.  These starving artists.  Or starving Youtubers.  No, you’re just obnoxious and self-obsessed and don’t want to work.

Which brings us back to Retro Ali.

0:00 – “Whatisupmydude?”

Oh, I forgot.  We have to put this on 0.75 speed to make this at all intelligible.

0:15 – “I’m sort of getting back into the groove of Youtube after taking a sort of personal break.”

She took a break to deal with “mental health issues”.  She said this herself.

1:00 – Wonderswan Color.  Great.

1:30 – “If you know me, I really like anime-related games.”

Yeah.  Super.

1:45 – She talks about a “spicy” pick up and the system had a lot of shovelware on it.

So I’m thinking some kind of obscure system.  Ouya or something.

No.  Playstation 2.

3:00 – Then she shows the PS2 games that she got.

 4:00 – Dance Dance Revolution.  “I don’t have a dance pad yet but I’ll probably get one eventually.  I would love to stream it.”

Well, it worked so well for Erin.  Why not?

4:45 – Neo Pets.  She’s “nostalgic” for this series.

Am I crazy or are people constantly misusing this term?  I can’t quite articulate why but it just seems wrong to me.  Can you be nostalgic for a thing, as opposed to an era?

“I’m nostalgic for Bubble Tape.”

No, that can’t possibly be right.

That’s it?  That’s the video.  She hyped this thing as being full of cool, new shit.  Not like her usual pick up videos.  But…it was a Wonderswan, a PS2, and some PS2 games.  There was nothing unusual here.

Well…I’ve been burned again by Retro Ali.  When will I learn?

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