https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WOjEdmH7DA
Ten hours of Mike Matei goodness.
I’ve watched nine hours so far and I think that I’ve hit my limit.
One of the main problems is that he doesn’t listen to or read anything. Then, as a direct result, he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.
For example, there’s a section where he’s supposed to talk to one character, and then this character tells him to talk to another character in the same building. But Mike was too busy talking to the chat about “tell me some dumb jokes”.
So he wandered around outside for about 10 minutes trying to figure out what he was supposed to do next. The little mini-map shows you where your next objective is so he was looking for that, not realising that it’s in the fucking building, as the character told you.
Then a little while later, he’s at a fishing village, he has no idea why he’s at this fishing village because he didn’t listen to anything, and after killing all of the enemies he knocks on a door. The person doesn’t open the door. Then he says, “Is there another way to get in? I’m not just supposed to knock on the doors, am I? That can’t be right.”
So he knocks on another door. This character again doesn’t answer the door but tells him exactly whose door to knock on and where this person is located.
He didn’t read or listen to this so then he gets annoyed and just starts knocking on every person’s door and then running away. He doesn’t stop to listen to any of the dialogue. He says something like, “It’s probably faster to do it this way.” It isn’t. Through brute force, he eventually finds the correct door.
At this point, having found the person he was supposed to be looking for, he suddenly fast-forwards through some dialogue when the player character starts threatening the NPC’s wife. I found this particularly peculiar. Maybe rape threats aren’t allowed on Twitch.
Anyway, this is how he plays the game. He just mindlessly goes from one checkpoint to the next, not knowing why he’s doing any of this.
He’s also really bad at crafting stuff. There’s a crafting system in the game. For example, if you get metal and something else, you can create a lock pick. It’s instantaneous and you can carry as many components as you want with no penalty. Unlimited space.
So he regularly starts crafting stuff for no reason. He has like 15 lock picks. This metal is also necessary to fix your weapon, which breaks regularly. He doesn’t seem to know this. So obviously, the better course of action is to craft shit as and when needed. In this case, only craft a lock pick when you need to pick a lock. But he doesn’t know what the metal does, he doesn’t have any idea how this crafting works, he’s just mindlessly going through this game.
I should say at this point, that I never played the game before. Neither has he. But I know all of this stuff because I fucking read what’s on the screen. He doesn’t do any of this.
Choosing weapons. He’s constantly picking weapons based on how they look. Each weapon has the stats clearly labelled. It tells you how much damage they do. He didn’t look at this ONCE. So he’s using shitty weapons, not knowing that he has better ones in his inventory.
He encounters a similar problem when he runs out of inventory space. He can only carry eight weapons at a time, and he’s at maximum capacity for most of the game. So when he finds a new weapon, he has to discard one. He just chooses whatever. He’ll discard weapons that he upgraded, over shittier weapons that he has DUPLICATES of. He doesn’t pay attention whatsoever.
Also, the chat tells him that it’s stupid to discard weapons AT ALL. They should instead be disassembled to get material to use in crafting. He rarely does this and even acknowledges that he’s not doing this.
The enemies sometimes carry weapons. For example, there were some police zombies carrying batons. If you kill them, you can pick up their weapons. So he kills a bunch of zombies, including the police zombies, picks up the stuff that they dropped, but doesn’t pick up the weapons. The stuff that they drop all looks the same (they look like packages) so he knows what they look like, but the weapons just look like weapons. He doesn’t realise that you can pick these up because he’s not paying attention.
When you die, you lose some items in your inventory or something. I never figured it out and neither did he. He doesn’t care. But there are duffel bags in all of the safe areas in the game, obviously to store your stuff in case you die. He never uses any of these and he never even attempts to explore what these things are used for and how the dying system works in the game. What the penalty is for dying.
This all makes for difficult viewing. Now, I’ve watched nine hours of this over the course of two days so I’m obviously persevering. But it just makes me want to watch a COMPETENT player play the game.
And this problem is so easy to solve. All he has to do is read or listen to the fucking cut scenes. If you’re not interested in the story, that’s fine, but they’re giving you information on what to do and how to play the game.
And he’s not even reading the fucking menus. He’s not looking at the weapon stats. He’s just fumbling through the game. If I want to watch that shit, I’ll watch the love of his life: Erin Plays.
This is a well-known problem with him, he knows of this issue, and he doesn’t care. But it makes for shit videos. There’s not a single person out there saying, “Boy, I love how he doesn’t read anything.”
Also, this game is co-op. Up to four players at a time. What he should obviously do is get Erin involved. She recently got first place in Fortnight on her very first attempt at the game. And then she again got first place on her second attempt, but this time when she was playing in team-mode with Mike. So she’s great. She’s a hardcore gamer. Oddly, this is the one time when we don’t have footage of Erin playing a video game.
As for the other two, I suppose you could get Tony, star of Mike & Tony Tuesdays.
Fuck James. He wouldn’t have a clue how to play. Nor the time.
So Kieran could be the fourth, I guess.
Why not? It would be good. Split the screen four ways. I’m sure it would work.
Realistically, Erin would be horrendous and die constantly but I don’t know how that’s handled. If the whole party goes back to the respawn area or what. Anyway, I’d watch it.