Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/AngryNintendoNerd/videos

James Rolfe is a bald man who makes Youtube videos.  He’s self-conscious about his baldness so he’ll often wear baseball caps.  He doesn’t wear caps in the Angry Video Game Nerd videos because, at least in his mind, that’s not the “character”.  So instead, he just does really weird shit to make it sort of look like he has hair.  He uses spray on hair and/or he makes use of the combover or something.

It looks fucking terrible.  

Now, I’m sympathetic.  I started losing my hair when I was 21.  It was noticeable probably by my mid 20s.  When I was in my late 20s, a Chinese woman who I met from a dating site remarked, “Oh, you’re losing your hair.”  

When I was 29, I was in my bathroom and I happened to take a hand mirror to try to see how bad it was.  I could not fucking believe it.  Why did nobody tell me how bad this was?  The balding in the front had met the balding in the back.  

Years later, I retold this story to my girlfriend and how I couldn’t believe how nobody told me how bad this looked.  Co-workers, for example.  She said that it would be inappropriate and it’s not their business.  I suppose it’s true.  It’s difficult to tell a co-worker, “Hey, you’re really going bald.  You might want to do something about that.”  It’s easy for somebody to get offended by that.

On the other hand, it would have been helpful.  Because most people don’t know what the top of their head looks like.

So when I saw how bad it looked on that fateful day, I immediately took some clippers, put a number 4 guard on it, and trimmed it all down.  Then over the next four months or so, I went down to a 2 guard.  Then I just shaved it entirely.  

There was a transition period.  People asked about it.  But eventually, when you meet new people, that’s just who you are.  They don’t know you from when you had hair.  So it’s not an issue.

For a short while, I’d go to baldness acceptance forums where people would post pictures of The Rock and other sexy bald men to make themselves feel better.  And that’s fine.  But I didn’t find this particularly helpful.  

It’s just something you get over.  I had hair.  Now I don’t have hair.  It happens to loads of men.  Let’s move on.

What I didn’t do was start wearing a baseball cap, using hair in a can, or doing a combover.  Because this isn’t the 1970s.  

What about getting a toupee?  That would be another retro response to baldness.  Maybe James can try that.  

Didn’t Sy Sperling die recently?  Yeah.  In 2020.  

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HairClub

Oh, they do surgical hair transplants.  I thought that they did like weaves.  So toupees.  Maybe they did but now they’ve moved on to surgical hair transplants because that’s where the market has moved to.

So that’s another option.  Why doesn’t Jimmy do that?  Fucking what’s his name, that annoying gay man who was in that boxing event did that.  Nathan Barnatt.  James knows him.  Why doesn’t he ask for some advice?  Jimmy must have the money.

In some ways, Jimmy is lucky to have total strangers telling him that his hair looks awful and he needs to do something about it.  This is a luxury.  If he weren’t on Youtube, he wouldn’t know that his hair looks like shit.  Because nobody would tell him.  

I recommend just cutting it down with clippers using a number two guard.  Do that once a week.  It’s not a big deal.  It takes ten minutes.  Ten minutes a week.  James must have time for that.  Then you can go down to no guard.  Or shave it.    

It wouldn’t affect the channel.  There’s that other annoying Youtuber, Nostalgia Critic, I don’t think shaving his head caused viewership to plummet.  Nobody cares.  It’s the lousy videos that cause the view numbers to go down.  

And he’s married so who cares about picking up chicks?  Does he think his wife is going to leave him if he shaved his head?  She married somebody who has severe mental impairments.  Seven and a half years in special education.  He’s deeply autistic and/or possibly mentally retarded.  If she can overlook that, she can overlook anything.  James Rolfe might be the most successful retard of all time in terms of relationships and professionally.

And anyway, I don’t think that hair even plays a role in being able to pick up the ladies.  Whether you have hair or not, you can still get the ladies.  I don’t think that there’s any significant downgrade in terms of quantity or quality of women when you shave your head.

What the ladies aren’t interested in is this weird Larry Fine shit.  Combovers, hair in a can, baseball caps: it all screams gross insecurity.  That’s a turnoff.