https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYijqlRSL_U
0:00 – “Oddly enough, one of these games is actually one of the most expensive games that you can buy for the NES and that’s Flintstones: Surprise at Dinosaur Peak that retails for…$800?”
Then he makes a stupid face. He has absolutely no acting abilities. And why would he be surprised by the price? It’s not like he was just looking it up. He already knew the price.
But the thing that annoyed me most was that he said that it “retails” for $800. Does he even know what “retail price” means? It’s the price that retailers sell merchandise. They purchase at wholesale price. Retailers aren’t involved in the secondary market. They’re not selling used stuff. The market price is $800.
But that’s enough 4th grade economics for today.
0:30 – Then he starts shilling for Seinfeld keychains.
He does a really weird advertisement thing. I don’t think that anybody is sponsoring these videos. He’s not getting paid to do these ads. He only gets paid if you click the link that he puts in the description and buy something. But who the fuck is doing that?
These keychains are remarkably stupid, by the way. I can’t even tell who anyone is. It’s not like Seinfeld lends itself well to cute anime style keychains of the characters.
2:15 – He has to decide what controller to use for this game. Why? Because it’s a set up to a hilarious joke.
“There’s the NES classic controller, the turbo controller, or the rock controller.”
What? And to make things even more confusing, it was a picture of two rocks.
I sort of get it. The Flintstones. They live in a stone house. They live in the Stone Age. Their appliances are often made of stone. But they would do things creatively on The Flintstones. At least relatively. The remote control is made of stone but it has a bird that flies out when you press a button. Shit like this. It wasn’t just everything was rocks.
5:15 – He’s talking about some bandit-looking enemies and he says, “Nothing like some Antifa banditos to get me all riled up.”
What? Is Chris BORES coming out as a fascist? This is shocking. Does he even know what he’s saying?
I’ll just move on but that’s fucking bizarre.
5:30 – He pronounces “Amazon” as “Aim-a-zon”. Long “a” sound. Weird.
6:00 – Then he pronounces “also” with a long “a” sound. What? Does he even speak English?
There were also numerous points in the video where it was difficult to understand what he was saying. I didn’t mention them because I thought he was just speaking quickly and getting his words mixed together. But now I don’t know.
11:00 – “Here again is another chance wasted.”
Yeah, I mean this is what I’m talking about. He says a lot of weird things like this. “Here again is another OPPORTUNITY wasted” would be the normal English term. I don’t even know if “chance” is an acceptable term here.
So…that’s the video. He made numerous references to how much this game cost and then there was a lame joke at the end.
I’ll say this, though. He really cut down on the homosexual references. There were some references to poop and whatnot but no “boner biting dogs”, for example. So I appreciate that.
Oh, and he also had this weird obsession about how the game should have included characters from other Hanna-Barbara cartoons. Why? It’s like playing Super Mario Bros and complaining that Link isn’t in there. It has nothing to do with Link.
I’m also pleased to report that there weren’t any Cameos.
– “C’mon dude… that looks nothing like GWAR”
That was my thought as well but I didn’t want to mention EVERY stupid thing that Chris BORES said. But yeah, he made a reference to some character looking like he’s from GWAR. He doesn’t. At all. He’s not even wearing a mask.
– “You’re slowly devolving into what you once were. Unwatchable.”
At what point was he watchable?
– “do you write the episodes by Yousef or do you have writers like avgn or a mix of both anyway love the episode”
Chris BORES replies, “It’s a mix right now”.
You’re telling me that he had help with the writing and it’s STILL complete dog shit?
I need to work on a Chris BORES script. What do you suppose the job pays? He probably pays in buttsex.
– “Man you did a lot of mispronouncing and messing up your wording did not do any second takes?”
So I wasn’t the only one who noticed.
as flawed as his gimmick is, chris bores is still better than avgn. the latter relies on poop jokes for comedy, which just isn't funny. not to put too fine a point on it,but there are ways to make effective humour involving faecal matter. it just needs context, good story-telling abilities and a tacit understanding of how much is too much. plus, it can't be the only gear that you know. the rest is obvious
I suppose that Chris Bores is producing better “content” than today's James Rolfe but they're both horrendous. AVGN is actually unwatchable now, though. At least I've been able to get through all of Bores' shit.