Gamer Girls

“Did you finish, Mike?  Can I stop doing this now?”

She looks completely miserable playing this shit.  Why on earth would anybody do this?  She doesn’t want to do this.  She has no interest in video games.  Why does she continue?  This is never going to take off.

Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining has been doing this much longer than Erin, she has much bigger tits, she’s shown them off, she’s genuinely interested in video games, and she’s not getting any fucking money from this shit.   And she never will.  She knows this.  That’s why she has a fucking job like a normal person.  Youtube is her hobby.  It’s an extra $500/month.  Fine.  As additional income to your actual job, that’s not bad.  But as your sole source of income, that’s fucking pathetic and nobody could live off of that.

Erin is making half that.  

It’s the same with all of these gamer grrls.  They are never going to make enough money to live off of Youtube.  Is Pelvic Gamer with her boring JRPG videos suddenly going to take off and get a million subscribers?  Are masses of people suddenly going to discover Retro Ali making the “O” face and say, “God, I have to watch this shit every week”?

The women making money on Youtube are smoking hot young women doing highly sexualised content.  None of the gamer grrls who I cover meet this criteria.  And they never will.  They’re not going to get any hotter or younger.  This is it.  

Where are the 40+ year old average looking women with a million subscribers?  Not just video game “Youtubers” but anything.  

1:15 – She gives a Wikipedia reading of the game Time Crisis.  A bit earlier, she read the Wikipedia entry for some Namco gun.

1:45 – Now she’s playing the game.  “Oh god.  Okay.”  That’s basically the commentary.  Repeatedly. 

She has absolutely no idea what she’s doing.  She never played this before.  Of course.

2:45 – So after playing that game for a minute and having absolutely nothing to say about it, we’re on the sequel.

This is exceptionally bad.  She put absolutely no effort into this video.  She just put fishnet stockings on and said, “Well, I’m done.  Let’s make a video.”

3:30 – She played the sequel for only 45 seconds.  Again, she had absolutely nothing to say about the game.  So now we’re on to Point Blank.  I guess.

She likes the game because you shoot cute things rather than the usual armed thugs.

4:15 – She’s playing the game.  “Oh my god.  Do I smoosh him?”

She has no idea what she’s doing.  Why would anybody be entertained by this?  She’s playing these games for the first and last time ever.  Like she always does.  Has this formula been a success so far?  Why does she keep doing it?

And she’s fucking two inches from the screen.  I don’t know what the recommended distance is but this is why gun games are fucking stupid and never took off.  You can just go right up to the screen.

5:45 – “I don’t have a lot to say about the first game, so let’s move on to the second.”

She had nothing to say about ANY of these games so far.  We’re halfway through the video.  When does it start?  

This is just awful gameplay from a woman one inch from the screen, playing the games for the first and last time ever, while wearing fishnet stockings.  Why would anybody want to watch this?

Who the fuck  is getting off on a woman sitting on the floor, pretending to enjoy video games, and wearing fishnet stockings?  That seems like a very particular fetish to me.  How many people in the world can possibly be aroused by this?  

When Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining did her video where she dressed as a vampire prostitute, I got it.  She’s showing her tits.  And there are probably some people who like the gothic shit.  Fine.  Go jerk off to that if you can’t get around the parental block on your computer.  

But Erin wearing fishnet stockings?  Who cares?  

Does Erin have nice legs?  I have no fucking idea.  Am I crazy for not knowing what good legs look like?  Who’s jerking off to legs?  This isn’t the 1920s.  

6:00 – She likes the sequel to whatever this game is called because it has better music and it’s cuter.  But she’ll never play it again in her life.

6:15 – Now she’s already on to Point Blank 3.  So she talked about the sequel, the one that she said she had more to talk about, for 30 seconds.

6:30 – “Oh my god.  I shot him in the dick.”

Whoa!  Shishi is changing his underpants now.  Good job, Erin.  You made a handful of retards ejaculate just by saying “dick”.

7:00 – Now she’s reading the Wikipedia article for some other light gun.

She says that the guns that came in the arcade “came in some badass colours.”  Blue and red, by the way.  Badass.

“I’m going to be playing Area 51 which, you know, is about aliens, which is fitting because when I think about aliens, I think of the colour green.”

Oh.  More riveting hue discussion.  Her light gun is green.  Get it?  Like aliens.  Many aliens in various science fiction media are depicted as being green.  So Erin…Erin is just talking about colours some more.  This is what she does.  About everything.  She’s so fucking ignorant about every subject matter on earth that all she can fall back on is COLOURS.  

7:45 – She reads the Wikipedia article for the Area 51 game.

8:00 – “That ‘reload’ sound, I remember hearing so much in the arcade.”

How?  When has Erin been to an arcade?  I remember some story she told recently about going to some arcade in a mall for her 16th birthday or something but I don’t even believe that.  Erin was not hanging out in fucking arcades.  Erin was born in 1987.  Arcades were already gone by then.  

Let me look when this game was released.  She read the Wikipedia article but I already forgot the year.  1995.  So Erin would have been eight years old.  Okay, maybe she found some arcade in a mall or something when she was 16 and they had older games in them.  There wouldn’t have been many new games in 2003.  But no.  I don’t buy any of this.  More blatant lies from Erin.

8:15 – She mentions that the game also works with a mouse “but who would want to use that.”

Well, not Erin.  Erin first played a game “with mouse and keyboard” last year, when she played a Doom mod, on stream, for money.  And since then, she’s never played a game “with mouse and keyboard” again.

She has absolutely no idea what she’s doing and her commentary is fucking idiotic in the extreme.

9:15 – “Ooh, a pink one.”  She’s giving a running commentary on the colours of the aliens.  Who is this appealing to?  Is there anybody on earth who finds this interesting?  

9:45 – So that’s it.  “Were there any games that you wished I included in this video?”

No.  What’s the fucking point?  So you can play the game one time, really poorly, and talk about colours?  Who in the name of fuck cares about that?  

This was just unbelievably bad.  The Powerpad video had way more effort put into it and that was dogshit.  

All she fucking did for this was put fishnet stockings on, sit on the floor, talk about colours, read Wikipedia articles, and play the games REALLY, REALLY poorly.  For the first and last time ever.  

What’s the point of any of this?  

– “This will be Erin’s second highest viewed video after the power pad, because legs and feet.”

I didn’t even see her feet.  Were her feet shown in the video?  These horntards must be going frame by frame looking for images of her feet.

– “As a leg and foot woman, I approve 100%.”

– “Just incredible legs”

– “I always come back to this channel to see the power pad video. Now I’ll add this to the list. Lol Erin has gorgeous legs, and even cuter feetsies.”

This shit totally escapes me.  

– “Forgot project horned owl, one of the best”

She didn’t “forget”.  She doesn’t know the games, you fucking retard.

– “Erin, fish nets, retro games, light guns..thx Erin you made my day. You are absolutely one of my fav retro gamer channels..its been a bit”

– “U look nice Erin matches ur personality too. Matei has good taste in women even tho he has issues but who dosent, it’s part of the curse of being a human. I’m a pro arm wrestler btw”

This is my favourite comment so far.  I’m going to start using that “arm wrestler” line to pick up fat chicks on Tinder.  

– “I know this might be inappropriate but that thumbnail was sexy. Reminded me of Perfect Dark.”

– “When did Erin turn from shy nerdy gamer girl to a confident E-girl?”

When was she any of those things?  She’s an unemployed 33 year old sociopath.

– “Erin…. you dont have to be that girl…. you make good content”

Erin replies, “I was just feeling sassy 🤓 But thank you for liking my content.”

– “Awesome gameplay as usual Erin” long time fan/Watcher/Supporter (Fan sounds creepy) anyway you look Incredibly Gorgeous by the way and are wearing the hell out of those legging’s.. *Sorry Mike *I hope you tell her that everyday playboy.. *She’s a total Keeper and a complete Doll player”

I can’t even comment on that creep show.  But “awesome gameplay as usual”?  Really?

– “So whens your Onlyfans coming out?”

Erin replies, “Not my thing :)”

I refuse to believe that anybody would subscribe.  But if fucking SupaPixelGirl can do it with her fake pictures, portly physique, and atrocious personality, I guess there must be a market for anyone.  

– “Nothing says “light gun games are amazing” like a homely woman playing try-hard with fishnets for views… Sigh.Erin should be better than this; she’s a legit gamer.”

Umm…I was with you right up until the last sentence.