https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAHgiAlFj2k
Old video, new review.
I was looking at Erin’s most viewed videos. Power Pad is number one, of course, with 216,000 views. Number two is this Power Glove video with 99,000.
By the way, her latest video, the one where she plays various light gun games, for a few seconds each, poorly, for money, while sitting on the floor and wearing fishnet stockings, is only at 41,000 views after nearly two weeks. So I was right when I predicted that it wouldn’t even get twice as many views as one of her “normal” videos does.
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/05/6-awesome-playstation-light-gun-games.html
So the Power Glove video. I remember this one. Mike promoted it heavily on the Cinemassacre channel.
When you see a video title like this, you expect that the person is going to defeat the enemies in the game. Because otherwise…what’s the point?
Well, Erin opted for this pointless option. Because she knows absolutely nothing about video games.
From memory, Erin fights various Castlevania bosses, while using the Power Glove, and gets totally destroyed. This is completely idiotic. She struggles on these bosses with the regular controller, how can she possibly defeat them using the Power Glove? She doesn’t. It’s just 13 minutes of Erin playing the game poorly, for money, as usual.
I just couldn’t believe it. Even today, two years later, I still can’t comprehend this video. It makes no fucking sense. Why make a video of you sucking at the game using the Power Glove? We all know that the controller isn’t any good. What would make sense is BEATING THE ENEMIES using the Power Glove. You know, as an extra challenge. But she doesn’t do that.
So let’s check it out.
0:00 – She starts the video by saying that she never had a Power Glove “until now”. Oh. I guess that Mike let her borrow his.
0:15 – “Let’s try to beat all the bosses in Castlevania with the Power Glove.”
Yeah. That’s an idea. Do that. Practice extensively until you can actually beat them. Instead, she shows you footage of her playing the game poorly, for the first time ever using this thing, and getting her ass handed to her.
0:30 – Her Power Glove wasn’t working so she claims to have opened it up to try to fix it. You see footage of her unscrewing something and exposing the circuit board.
This is just bizarre. There is NO WAY that Erin was trying to fix this thing. How would she even know how? What is she looking for? She doesn’t know anything about this. Is she going to get her soddering iron out? Is she going to start testing the voltage with one of those…voltage testing things? She doesn’t have a fucking clue.
“Everything looked fine. And putting everything back together, it luckily started to work.”
What? A working circuit board looks exactly the same as a non-working circuit board? It just doesn’t make sense. None of this makes sense.
1:00 – Finally some gameplay footage. She’s on the first boss. She can barely even move the character.
Then she’s unable to jump at all.
“I just want to hit it once.”
So this is the video. Erin is playing this game for the first time ever using this fucking glove. And she IMMEDIATELY went from a goal of beating the bosses to “I just want to hit it once.”
1:30 – “Fuck. This doesn’t work. This is the dumbest thing.”
Yeah. Never used this before. Why didn’t she fucking practice beforehand and show us footage of her actually beating the fucking bosses? Or at least playing at a semi-competent level? Why does everything have to be a first (and last) playthrough?
3:15 – Oh, she actually beat the first boss. Well, that’s more than I expected.
Then she beats the second boss.
3:45 – “I really hurt my knuckle, I don’t know how, and it really hurts to bend it but this is what we’re doing.”
Who cares? Nobody fucking cares about your fake maladies.
You just know that Erin has given Mike a handjob with this thing. Perhaps multiple times. Maybe that’s the only way that Mike can get off. This fucking semen encrusted Power Glove.
4:30 – She starts talking about how she “forgot” that you can’t use the stop watch on this boss. She sure does “forget” a lot of video game-related things.
5:15 – “This is going to be my last attempt because this isn’t about beating them, it’s just trying to beat them.”
I’m pretty sure that the original idea was about beating them. Because the video makes absolutely no sense otherwise. Trying to beat them? Who cares?
Still, the video is better than I remembered. I didn’t think that she beat any of the bosses. But she beat two.
6:15 – She gives up on the mummies and moves on to Frankenstein.
By the way, her posters are mostly Disney and McDonald’s shit. Doesn’t she have mostly video game posters now? I wonder when she made the switch.
8:30 – She gets to the Grim Reaper, struggles, and just uses a lot of awkward profanity.
Then she’s on the final boss and it’s more of the same. She’s really bad at the game and just uses a lot of awkward profanity. It sounds totally forced.
12:30 – “Do you know how rad it would be if we got to the blue beast?”
Pretty radical. Whatever the blue beast is. Hey guys! Remember when people said “rad”? No, me neither.
“So that was my first ever experience with the Power Glove.”
And last ever experience.
Then she says that she wants to try Contra with the Power Glove. Fortunately, we never got that video.
Oh, Joe from Game Sack replied. Just get a girlfriend, Joe. It’s not that hard.
So that’s the video. It sucked ass but not as hard as my memory had it.
Let me look up the etymological origins of “rad”. Because I’ve raised this point a few times before. I contend that nobody has EVER said “rad” outside of 1980s Hollywood movies.
None of these dictionaries give the approximate date of origin of the word. But Urban Dictionary says that “radical” was popularised by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Presumably the movie and/or 1980s/1990s cartoon. That’s true. But again, that just goes to my point that it was only said in film and television. Nobody in real life has ever said “rad”.
Oh, here we go.
“Teen slang adjectival sense of “extraordinary, wonderful” is from late 1970s (see radical (adj.)).”
I don’t know. I can only go by my own experience. I’ve never heard it in real life. Not once.