Gamer Girls

Well, Christmas is nearly here. Maybe you’ll spend it with your shrew of a wife and family. Maybe you’ll have a magical time with red-haired prostitutes as you dream about your muse who doesn’t talk to you any more. Maybe you’ll be getting fucked in the ass by a man you don’t love in exchange for Youtube promotion.

However you spend the holidays, let’s remember the birth of the Messiah in that humble manger. What is a manger anyway? A trough for feeding animals? Oh, that’s just where He was chilling after being born. But yeah, Jesus was born in a barn. I knew that much. They just put him in a trough because there was no more suitable place.

So we have Erin Plays: proof that an all-loving and all-powerful God cannot possibly exist. I know that it’s not quite the end of the year but I don’t think that Erin will release another video before the year is out. And even if she does, who gives a fuck? I’m calling an end to Erin’s 2024 Youtube output here.

Seven videos this year. SEVEN. I suppose that we should at least be thankful for that. She used to put out a video EVERY WEEK.

She had 18 videos last year.

Top Twelve Erin Plays Horntard Comments of 2023

She only had nine videos in 2022.

She had 28 in 2021. So even during covid, she was fairly busy. And that includes the time that she’d spend asking elderly neighbours if they need anything from the grocery store. Not actually picking anything up but just asking. “Oh, you need some laxatives? That’s cute. Anyway, I’m going to go cry in the bathtub now.”

38 videos in 2021.

34 videos in 2020. That was the year that she made the Power Pad video. She peaked. That was also the year when I found out about her and started the blog. Actually, it might have been 2019 when I first discovered her videos because I wrote on Reddit for a few months before I started the blog.

So I guess it was never 52 videos a year but it’s still a massive climbdown. Since 2022, she’s given up. She must have finally figured out that a personality blackhole with absolutely no interest in video games or experience with video games doesn’t make for a good Youtube channel about video games.

Nevertheless, the horntards have stuck by her. These are people who are literally mentally challenged. I’m not saying this to be insulting. Some of these people have Youtube channels where it’s plain as day that they’re mentally retarded. I don’t mean they’re doing something kooky for a video, I mean they’re walking with an odd gait, they have unusual mannerisms, and they are clearly what used to be described in the medical literature as “mentally retarded.”

Not everybody who goes to her channel is mentally retarded, of course. Some are “merely” autistic. But I’ve yet to see anybody who can be described as “normal” or “high functioning”. “Barely capable of independent living” is the highest level that any of Erin’s commentators can be placed at.

This is her fanbase. These are the horntards. She’s shaking down literal retards for money. So let’s check out the comments.

10. “Damn no o.f (laughing emoji)” – orangutanvintage

This was from the The Last Game Boy Color Games video but NONE of the comments I’m going to talk about today have anything to do with their respective video.

It’s just a guy complaining about Erin not being on OnlyFans. There were a few comments, but not many (about three) along these lines. I just used this one as representative of them all.

9. “I’d snuggle up on the control panel with you, Erin.” – samusvikerness661

This was one of several comments in my list from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Quarter Arcade Review video. This is the oldest video that she has from 2024. By her latest video, Resident Evil Gaiden on the Game Boy Color, which was released in October 2024, there weren’t any comments worthy of being in the top ten. There’s a noticeable drop off in crazy comments not only with this year compared to previous years but just within this year. As the months go on, there are fewer sexual comments.

I struggled to get ten comments for this year. I went through all of the videos, ended up with a list of 14 comments, I made four easy cuts, and there’s my list.

I was thinking that maybe she’s deleting the crazier comments. But no…because there are some. I think that people just aren’t interested any more. Erin no longer has it. Whatever “it” was to begin with.

Anyway, as for the comment, he wants to snuggle up on the “control panel”. What does that even mean? “Control panel”? Did he use the wrong word or is this a reference to something said in the video? I don’t want to watch it to find out. Just another dumb comment from a horny retard.

8. “I’m not gonna lie, I really dig seeing you dress up as April O’ Neil every time you review any TMNT game, and I hope to see more reviews in 2024 as well! ^^” – sonicmario64

This was another comment from the same video. He likes the cosplay. But…I think that this was the only guy who even commented on it. So I think people are done with this shit.

Also, in fairness, Erin literally only appears in “costume” for like five seconds in this video. And you don’t see anything below her shoulders.

But that was apparently enough for SonicMario64, a man who…oh. I was thinking that he was born in 1964. No, it’s probably a reference to the Nintendo 64 and whatever. Or maybe it’s a reference to his IQ.

7. “Ur love of game is inspiration Erin (heart emoji) keep up the amazing insight n knowledge! Respect gamer girl!”; “Ur true beauty beyond ur good looks is a strong game knowledge. (party emoji)”; “K done simpin lol sorry Erin, back to ur hardcore gaming skillz (laughing emoji)” – AanishnaabeAllTheWay

These were three comments given in quick succession for the The Last 5 Nintendo 64 Games Ever Released video. He gets points for saying “gamer girl” non-sarcastically, bringing back late 1990s text speak, ending every comment with an emoji, stating (apparently without irony) that Erin is knowledgeable about video games, commenting on how hot she is, and overall desperation.

6. “”The Spearman’s ratio of mean error and mean time was 0.575 in males and 0.483 in females. Conclusion: The males outperformed in efficiency index when compared to females in hand-eye coordination with repeated practice.” – Journal of Clinical and Diagnostic Research. 2023 Jan, Vol-17(1): YC15-YC18″ – Warrior_Resisting_Colonialism

This was from the Playing TMNT on NES with Mike! video, In response to a comment somebody made about how Erin sucks at video games. He wanted to provide super nerdy empirical data to back up the inherent superiority that men have over women when it comes to playing video games.

But it totally misses the point. Even if the study’s conclusions are accurate, Erin sucks at video games not because she’s a woman but because she has absolutely no fucking experience or interest in video games. There are plenty of women who are competent at video games: women who are experienced and interested in video games. That’s not Erin. Erin is a total fucking fraud. A fraud who, I’m pleased to see, is giving up on this bullshit and in any event, the horntards seem to be giving up on her. There’s probably a correlation between the two things but I’m not sure what’s driving what.

5. “It seems you literally never age… I’ve been watching you for what appears to be forever. Gotta be a Vampire… Only explanation. Anyways, it’s always good to see new content from you.” – Welcome2whereverUR

Erin replies with, “Haha, I’m good about wearing sunscreen so maybe that helps :p Thanks for sticking with my channel for so long!”

Some other guy says, “She’s only 36 you geek that’s still quite young.” – obvioushieidude7668

Welcome2whereverUR, enraged, comes back with, “…. In your outrage you have missed a large chunk of the plot. That being, primarily, I’ve been watching her “for what seems to be forever”… and… She looks no different than when it began. This wrapped around to the vampire comment. It really has nothing to do with her age. I didn’t know her age — I’m not that big of a “geek” — I suppose. I think you should just drink some soy, use the wrench so you don’t hurt your hand and calm down. It’s not that involved. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar… Ya know?”

Let’s try to unpack this. So we’ve got a guy talking about how hot and youthful Erin looks. Nothing that unusual, but given the crop of comments this year, perhaps it is.

Erin, being the shallow and self-conscious woman that she is, says, “Hey, yeah. I am pretty hot, aren’t I? Right? I’m still hot. Right guys? I take good care of my skin and all.”

So some other guy comes in and says, “Dude, she’s 36. Hardly grandma material.”

Then the original poster comes back with a bizarre rant that doesn’t even make sense. This was from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Quarter Arcade Review video, by the way.

I believe that the guy is a native English speak but…those are the comments of a madman. Scattered thinking. What’s the wrench reference about? “Use the wrench so you don’t hurt your hand.” Do nerds…use tools? And then…a phallic reference that…how does it apply to anything?

It’s a crazy person. These are her viewers. These are the people giving her money. Fortunately, it’s a steadily decreasing pool of people.

4. “i realy want 2 marry this woman. She so hot omg please be my wife (bunch of sweating emojis, bunch of heart emojis)” – Universalgodri

This was another one from that same video. Just another horny nerd.

3. “The best Father’s Day present has just arrived” – mrsoulslike570

This was from the The Last Game Boy Color Games video. You know how on Father’s Day, fathers tend to get gifts from their children? Not this guy.

Or maybe he did. I don’t know. His kids got him a card that spelled “Best Dad Ever” in macaroni. Maybe drew him a picture. Maybe did some kind of craft at school. Made a little effigy of him using stones and magic makers. And then they present it to him, eagerly awaiting his response.

MrSoulsLike570 takes one look at the gifts and then says I appreciate the effort, kids, but this is total trash. The best Father’s Day gift I got was Erin Plays’ video on the last Game Boy Color games.

His children look up at him, tears in their eyes, and say, Dad, we spent hours on these gifts. Why are you talking about some skank on Youtube and her formulaic video? She’s not even related to you. We’re your kids. Not her. Don’t you care?

Then he throws their gifts in the trash and binge watches Erin’s second Youtube channel for the rest of the day. You know, the one where it’s a collection of her Twitch streams. His wife enters and says, “Honey, can you at least join us for dinner? We have reservations at your favourite restaurant. The kids were looking forward to it.” MrSoulsLike570 snaps and says, “God damn it, how many times do I need to tell you not to interrupt me when I’m watching Erin Plays? Now I missed what her favourite shade of pink is.”

2. “I will watch anything you make <3” – Echo3_

This was from the 3 BAD Games from Sunsoft video.

It really goes to the heart of what I’ve been saying for years. Erin seems to be of the opinion that people are watching her videos because they’re about video games and they’d stop watching if they were about something else. These people do not give a fuck what the videos are about. They’re certainly not tuning in to see good gameplay, interesting insights, engaging chat, or anything like this.

They’re watching because they’re jerking off to this. There’s something about Erin that these horny retards find appealing. In increasingly fewer numbers, I must stress again.

Why doesn’t she just make videos on things that she’s actually interested in? Make your stupid fucking videos on Britney Spears, Weezer, whatever that third band that you like is, and your favourite hues. People will still fucking watch it. Retarded people, anyway. But that’s your audience.

1. “i wanna see you invite me back to your live twitch streams with a parade and epic apology and admit publicly how wrong you were about the covid masks and vaxxes and also send me a hand drawn picture that expresses how sorry you are with a lipstick lip stamp on the envelope lol is that asking too much?” – mentally_illest_radio

I don’t think that’s asking too much at all, Mentally Illest Radio. I think that you have a legitimate beef.

This was from the The Last 5 Nintendo 64 Games Ever Released but it doesn’t matter. It seems that this gentleman was banned from Erin’s Twitch for daring to challenge this complete cretin about covid. She was there on Twitter telling us to check on our elderly neighbours. She was telling us to get vaccinated. We’re all in this together. If you don’t get vaccinated, you’re an evil person and you should be taken out and shot.

Then one day…what? What happened to the lockdowns? What happened to all of the people who lost their jobs? What happened to all of the business that shut down? What happened to all of the lockdown-related suicides? “Oopsie. We made a mistake. Turns out, this world-wide lockdown that went on for years was all for nothing. Everybody go back to work.”

So…we eradicated covid? No. It’s still out there. Deadly as it ever was. You know, like the flu. But there’s no more panic. There’s no more completely insane global lockdowns. There’s no more hysteria over this fucking scam that was nothing more than a cash grab to get yet more money out of your hands and into the hands of the tiny elite, the 1% who control 40% of the wealth. They’re not happy with 40%. They want more. So put your fucking mask on and get injected with who the fuck even knows what that shit was.

Erin was out there being a fucking cheerleader for that bullshit. Draw that man a picture, seal the envelope with a kiss, and throw him his fucking parade. It’s the least you can do given the fucking destructive bullshit that you supported.

She never admitted that she was wrong. None of these people did. Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining was even worse. She was CONSTANTLY berating people for not getting vaccinated. Where’s the admission that you were wrong?

Okay, you got swept up in the hysteria. So? You were still wrong. Admit it. You should be MORE outraged than anyone who saw through the lies because you were dumb enough to believe it. You became a part of the problem. You were being used.

You look at US military veterans. You might see this in countries generally but I’m just focusing on the US. The most anti-military people are military veterans. Because they know that they were fucked over. They know that they were lied to. They know that they were used. And it was all just to make money for the guys at the top.

They joined the military because they were young and idealistic. They had ideas about liberating people and bringing freedom to the world and instead they just dropped bombs on the heads of poor brown people so that Haliburton can make another billion dollars this year. Risking their lives for that shit.

It’s similar with these vaccination cheerleaders. You were duped, okay. I get it. You had every news organisation in the country telling you this shit. The politicians were all in lockstep over this. It’s not at all unreasonable that you would believe this.

But now that you see that it was all a lie, why aren’t you outraged? What the fuck were you injected with, Pam? Even if it was benign, which I assume it wasn’t, what was the point of it? What was the point of staying home for however many years this was? And you were out there on fucking Twitter telling your MENTALLY CHALLENGED audience to do likewise. At the very least, don’t you feel like an idiot? Don’t you think that you’re owed an apology by the people who were telling you these lies and you owe an apology to the people who you were repeating these lies to?

You don’t hear a peep from these women about covid now. You also don’t hear anything about it in the news or from the govenment. Total non-issue. But everybody was whipped into a frenzy over this. Over a cold. If it was diarrhoea, I might understand the concern. But not a cold.

Doesn’t Erin feel at all bad that she spread misinformation about covid to LITERAL RETARDS? And she can’t even say, “Hey, I made a mistake. I fell for the propaganda. Sorry about that.”

And did Erin even bother to go shopping for her elderly neighbour like she told these retards to do? There’s no fucking way. She’s a fraud, she’s a swindler, and she’s a conwoman. And not even a good one. She’s making about six thousand bucks a year from Twitch, but this figure was from a few years ago when she was more popular. I’d be surprised if she’s making half that today.