Newt Talking

3:30 – He talks about his new part-time job. “Retail management.” He describes it as “babysitting.” Great way to endear yourself to your future co-workers. But he does have contempt for people, which is what makes him such a shitty manager.

Newt, if you think that you can get a better job, get a better job. Otherwise, suck it up and work like a professional. Treat people with respect at a minimum.

4:00 – Newt’s urine smells bad. You can go to the video if you’re interested in learning more about this. I’m not goign to sully the blog by talking about it.

4:30 – He plans on doing a “short” with PVC Bondage Guy where he talks about having sex with popcorn.

Am I not getting something? This is the second time in recent videos where Newt is talking about fornicating with popcorn. Is this a reference to something?

5:15 – Newt is talking about how he was recently “being intimate with a female friend of mine” and thought that he had a hernia and that’s what prompted all of this.

Why does he constantly have to boast about being such a scumbag? Get you a girlfriend. Stop fucking these prostitutes and mentally ill women.

9:00 – People who are working on the Florida Man comic got upset with Newt because he’s selling a Florida Man t-shirt with their artwork. They wanted the comic to be marketed. Or something. I don’t know. He’s The Ideas Man, not The Details Man.

11:00 – “Why am I wasting my time on stuff that’s not going anywhere, doing anything?”

Plus, it all sucks dick. But he’s saying this in answer to a question about why he doesn’t just move. He says that he’s thinking about it because nothing is going well for him.

12:15 – “I’m tired of writing. I don’t feel like it any more.”

Let’s hope.

25:45 – Newt is talking about all the sexy ladies that he’s had sex with. Fuck off.

30:30 – Newt strongly suggests that he had sex with that Melissa skank who he sometimes has on the show.

Done. Bored. Too bad it wasn’t cancer.

8 thoughts on “Newt Talking

  1. “Newt is talking about all the sexy ladies that he’s had sex with. Fuck off.”
    Jesus, he’s such a sleazebag. Why the hell does he give out details about his sex life so often? Why would strangers on the internet care where you get your dick wet? Bragging about your sexual activites is something a dude-bro teenager does, you’re like 41 Newt. Grow up already.

  2. There is a running gag/ urban legend in comedy films and stories where a guy and a girl go into a theatre together and the guy cuts a hole in the bottom of the bucket and sticks his cock in it so that as she eats the popcorn she’ll eventually find his hog and give him a handy. But let’s analyze this. 1- wouldn’t the popcorn burn your dick? 2- if you don’t burn yourself can you really keep a boner like that? 3- where are you getting the scissors to cut this hole open and 4-whip it out all unseen? It’s not perfectly dark in there. Then if you somehow pull this off is a girl really going to jack you off in a popcorn bucket?! 5- popcorn is not sold in buckets. It’s bags. It’s been bags everywhere I’ve ever seen. It’s cheaper and easier to store. Movie chains honestly don’t care how much popcorn you eat or even if you give it away. They count the number of bags sold. If you ever lost a bag, the manager would lose his shit because that’s $5 the home office lost out on. Same for drinks. So there’s the popcorn story. Real original Neet. I mean Newt. Not to put down retail but do so many people think it’s the only line of work that exists? I know it’s seen as a dead end track but it seems that for all these losers there are only 2 paths. Retail job for love, or some creative field where your a millionaire. Dude, go to a Vo-Tech for 18 months and be a plumber or an electrician. Be a garbage man. Those pay a lot actually! Go be a bill processor somewhere and sit at a desk doing spreadsheets overnight. It is proof however that retail jobs, the stricter, is bullshit. When I was 17 doing cashier shit I dreamed of being a manager so I could joke with the other managers and apologize to the occasional angry customer with a discount or something. Those jobs only go to 40 year olds. If your under 21 you are fucked on the line. There was one time a manager got his friend a job there and she was on the line but she was like 40, it really didn’t feel right. But holy fucking god damn shit she was a manager 3 weeks later. And Jesus God was she a bitch! I left a month later in part due to her bullshit. Then I worked manual labor for 3x the minimum wage back then. $12.75! Woo the good life!

    1. I know about the penis in the popcorn bucket prank that nobody has ever done but apparently, this was a reference to a Dune popcorn bucket that has sandworm-type teeth in the entrance.

      1. Yes and that bucket is something both Tony and Newt will NOT shut the fuck up about. Either Newt was going to do it anyway, or he just copied Tony who posted about it first technically, but regardless. They latched onto the topic of that thing and are *still* posting about it or referencing it. It was old news within days, but those two dragged it far longer.

  3. no offense you can say what you want about the guy, but I don’t wish ill will on anyone saying too bad it’s not cancer is kinda fucked up… I would not wish that on anyone.

    1. I mean if he’s even telling the truth about having cancer. The guy is not historically that honest.

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