Gamer Girls

0:00 – Something about Pennywise. I don’t know who Pennywise is.

Oh. The clown from It. Yeah. I think that I saw part of that.

Is this what Newt is going to talk about? I don’t care about this. There’s some remake coming out, I guess.

5:00 – Newt says that companies are putting out intentionally bad movies to, “Anger up white dudes in a very white way.”

I haven’t seen this sort of behaviour since high school. White guys being ashamed of being white. But Newt is in his 40s and still in this mentality.

And where are the homeys? Newt’s not hanging out with any homeys. He lives in Philadelphia. Isn’t there a large black population there? Let me look this up.

• 33.7% white
• 37.8% black
• 15.7% Hispanic
• 8% Asian

So why is everybody who Newt brings on the channel white? If he’s so down with the homeys, go make at least one black friend or “friend”. There are more black people in Philadelphia than there are white people.

I want to see Newt “reviewing” a movie with some prostitute with big chocolate tits and a phat ass. Is that asking too much? Show what a champion of diversity you are.

It’s the same fucking prostitutes every time: PVC Bondage Guy, Fallon, and that red-haired old crack addict. There aren’t any black crack addicts in Philadelphia? Get them on the fucking show.

8:30 – Newt calls something “retarded” and then stops himself to explain that he didn’t mean “mentally-challenged”. So…he meant it as an insult. What? Why would that make things better? It makes things worse, obviously.

He’s saying, “Hold on a minute. I didn’t mean ‘retarded’ as in somebody with learning disabilities. I was saying ‘retarded’ as an insult.”

Then he goes on to compare it to calling somebody “gay”, not because they’re a homosexual but because you use it as an insult.

Is he fucking retarded? He doesn’t seem to understand what people’s objections are to these words. The objection is to people using these terms AS INSULTS. As he’s doing right now and at pains to explain.

9:00 – “I can have a conversation with Metz, who is queer, and be like, ‘Oh, yeah, we can have this converation because you get it.'”

So he’s using homosexual slurs around PVC Bondage Guy, somebody who Newt describes as “queer”? He’s a fucking retard. A gay retard.

Here’s a wacky idea. If you want to avoid using offensive language, don’t use it at all. And especially don’t use it around people who are the target of these offensive terms. He seems to think that it’s BETTER to use offensive terms around people about whom these terms are targetting. It makes no fucking sense.

10:30 – Newt starts talking about having intercourse with popcorn for no reason whatsoever and it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. I just explained what happened. I didn’t leave anything out. Newt just suddenly started talking about being intimate with popcorn.

11:00 – His thesis, I think, for this video is that if you want to show how “anti-woke” you are, just don’t talk about movies that you find to be “woke” because by talking about it, you give more publicity to the movie.

I’m turning this off. I made it to 19:30. I couldn’t even listen for 30 more seconds to say that I made it to the twenty minute mark.

How come it’s always black remakes of films? Wizard of Oz, The Honeymooners…ummm….oh, The Wonder Years. Why not a Hispanic remake of an older movie that had a mostly or entirely white cast? Or an Asian remake? Why is it always black?

Are black people the largest minority racial group in the US? I don’t think so. I’m thinking that there are more Hispanic people now. Let me look this up.

• 58.9% white, non-Hispanic
• 19.1% Hispanic
• 13.6% black, non-Hispanic

https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/fact/table/US/PST045223

Right there on the official census website. “Hispanic” seems to include anyone with ethnicity from a Central or South American country, so this would include black people from those countries. It’s all nebulous anyway. I think that people in Central and South America refer to themselves by skin colour so if you’re light skinned, you’re white, if you’re dark, you’re black. I don’t think there’s an actual colour chart that’s used. They just eyeball it. But the people are considerably mixed, of course. Black, white, and American Indian.

So anyway, where’s the Hispanic…I don’t know…Perfect Strangers? Larry Appleton would be an American guy of Mexican descent named Lorenzo Martinez. He’s working in IT. And then his backward alleged cousin, Baldomero Ballesteros from rural Mexico moves in with him. Hilarity ensues as Baldomero tries to adjust to American customs and Lorenzo also learns to appreciate his own Mexican ancestry. In season two, they each get a couple of big-titted Mexican-American girlfriends to squelsh the rumours that the show is depicting a gay couple.

As for Newt’s new black co-host, let me see if I can find anyone. Black female Youtubers…how can I go about searching for this? If you search for “black woman philadelphia” on Youtube you just get a lot of crime videos.

Ooh. I found a winner.

0:30 – This woman invented a product (a headwrap) that solves a problem that’s allegedly big among black women: “How do we swim, work out, or do anything that involves getting wet or sweaty without ruining our hairstyle.”

Khadijah Robinson, I’m willing to test these products out all night if we have to. Get you all sweaty and wet.