Cassandra McKenna Adds Hula Hoops to Her Roller Skating Channel

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VD4D7dtJY0o

She used to make awful videos about video games.  Then she started making awful videos about roller skating.  It’s literally just footage of her roller skating.  For like a minute.  

I don’t get it.  She’s clearly mentally ill.  But whatever.  It’s fine.  She’s making terrible videos of her roller skating and a handful of losers are getting some kind of sexual gratification out of this.  But I don’t even think that that’s her intention.  But that then begs the question, “What is her intention with these videos?”  And I don’t know.  

She can’t possibly think that these roller skating videos are going to become popular.  What kind of enjoyment can she possibly get from making these videos?  

I think that Joe from Gamesack mentioned RollerGames in a recent video.  Hey guys!  Remember RollerGames?

Mmmm…no.  It was apparently on for one season from 1989 to 1990.  I saw a video on Youtube.  It’s like American Gladiators or professional wrestling.  But really bad.

It seems that the show has recently returned.  So maybe roller skating is making a comeback.  

Speaking of bad American Gladiators type shows, what about Knights and Warriors?  I remember that one.  My friend called me up one day and said, “Turn to channel 58 and check this out.  It’s like American Gladiators”.  It was on some crazy channel that barely even came in and that I never watched before.  I think that it became a Spanish language channel.

Anyway, it was okay, I guess.  I only saw it a few times because it was on channel 99 or whatever.  I think that the father from Everybody Hates Chris was one of the titular warriors.  Or knights.  I’m not sure how it worked.  I think that the knights were the contestants.

They also did dumb, hokey skits in between the games.  The only one I remember is one of the warriors acting as a leader inspecting the troops.  And he did the “stomach in, chest out” thing.  And he went along the line of dudes correcting their posture and then he got to a woman in a studded bra and commended her for really pushing her chest out and she expressed outrage at this sexist comment.

I read a Youtube comment for one of these videos where a guy claimed to be one of the warriors and that he regretted not taping the episodes.  He said something like, “It was a lot of fun.  I thought that those days would last forever.”  Alas, there’s no DVD box set of Knights and Warriors.

I used to watch American Gladiators, though.  A lot of those female gladiators really confused me.  Like Lace.  Lace was supposed to be the hot chick.  What?  The only one who did it for me whatsoever was Zap.  She just had the biggest tits.  I guess that Diamond had some big boobs as well but she came later.

I liked the International Gladiators season where they had gladiators and contestants from the various franchised versions of the show.  And it’s true, there was a British version of the show and some other ones.

They had fucking Wesley “Two Scoops” Berry running roughshod on the totally outclassed non-American competitors.  If the man can jump over a car, what chance does some emaciated fuck from Shaftesbury have?  Two Scoops didn’t even have to give 950% to beat these clowns, he could have got the job done with a mere 225%.

Anyway, Two Scoops has been in prison for many, many years.  He was involved in a bank robbery.  I read a Youtube comment years ago from somebody purporting to be his niece and she suggested that he was innocent.

And this was years ago.  Everything I’m seeing on the internet is from like 2007 and they claim that he got 10 to 20 years.  So maybe he’s out now.  

How did we get here?  So roller skating.  Remember Tootie from the Facts of Life?  She wore roller skates on the first season of the show because she was so much shorter than the rest of the cast.  Then she got massive tits by the end of the show’s run.  Those later episodes were so bad.  You had fucking George Clooney as a plumber or something and they’re all running Edna’s Edibles.  Why?  High school is done.  Go get your own lives.  No, we’ll all live together with our housemother (or whatever Edna was) and work in her bakery.

Then it got even more preposterous when Edna, like a 60 year old woman, got married and moved to South Africa or something.  So the “girls” decided to re-open the store (it burned down, by the way) as a place to sell weird 80s shit.  There’s a business model that wasn’t planned out too thoroughly.  

And they got another housemother or whatever.  Why?  These women are in their early to mid 20s.  And then suddenly there’s some little gay kid living there.  And an Australian girl is living there for a while.  What the fuck is going on?

But yeah, Kim Fields (Tootie) had some huge tits.  I remember she gave an interview, this was years after the show was cancelled, and she expressed disgust that somebody told her that he only watched the show because he wanted to “do Tootie”.  And the way she said “do Tootie” was hilarious.  She had such contempt in her voice.

Then she was on Living Single, and I watched that too, inexplicably, but I think that she got a breast reduction at some point.  

Oh, and I neglected to mention the hula hoops.  Hey guys!  Remember hula hoops?

Yeah, I guess.  I had access to hula hoops but I only played with them briefly.  It wasn’t like I was out there hula hooping all day.  

And this was long after hula hoops had their moment in the sun.  It was popular in the 1950s, of course.  Still popular in the 60s and 70s, probably.  But by the 80s, forget it.  

Why is Cassandra even adding hula hoops to her repertoire?  Like she’s Joanie Cunningham from Happy Days.

I used to think that Happy Days was a much older show than it was.  Obviously, because it takes place in the 50s.  As a kid, I didn’t realise that it was a show from the 1970s that was capitalising on 1950s *nostalgia*.  Like the Wonder Years would do for 1970s *nostalgia*.  Or Everybody Hates Chris would do for 1980s *nostalgia*.  This is the pattern.  These *nostalgia* shows always take place 20 years in the past because people who were kids then are in the most profitable demographic now.

But whatever.  Good for Cassandra and her roller skating/hula hooping dream.  It’s just too bad that she doesn’t have giant tits like Zap from American Gladiators or Tootie from The Facts of Life.  Maybe she’d get more views.

Oh, and there’s a porn version of Happy Days wherein the woman playing Mrs Cunningham is rather well endowed and she’s wearing a 1950s style brassiere.  I appreciated the attention to detail.  And she has a sex scene with the Fonz, who instructs Mrs C to “sit on it”.  I found it amusing.

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