Gamer Girls

She’s going to fabulous LOS ANGELES!

If people are traveling to the US, it’s always “I’m going to fabulous New York City for some shopping” or “I’m going to fabulous Disney World” or “I’m going to fabulous Los Angeles.”

There’s a whole rest of the country. What about rural Pennyslvania? No, I’m going to be as unimaginitive as possible.

I suppose that New York is a better place to travel to because you wouldn’t need a car. I don’t know. But if you’re renting a car, you can go anywhere. Why limit yourself to those same fucking three places every god damn time.

1:00 – She talks about the food and the groceries. It’s true, going to the grocery stores is the most interesting part of traveling.

1:15 – And now a word from our sponsor. It’s TWO MINUTES LONG.

3:30 – She went to the Hollywood Wax Museum. That’s the place you go when you completely run out of stuff to do. Who gives a shit?

When I had family visiting London they wanted to see the wax museum. Well, nobody wants to see the wax museum but they came up with a list and this was on the list. They were just coming up with stuff.

So we get there. It’s fucking packed full of people. As everywhere is in fucking shithole London. And we’re slowly inching along this wax museum and they had no idea who anybody was. They were British “celebrities.”

My mother is standing in front of a statue of Boris Johnson and she says, “Do you know who this is?” And I said “Yeah, Boris Johnson.” This was before he was prime minister. He was mayor of London at the time. No idea who it was. And they had some fucking gay Olympic swimmer and shit like this. Nobody who doesn’t live in the UK and possibly nobody outside of London knows these people. It’s shit. It’s a shit museum. Why would you want to see wax sculptures of celebrities anyway?

4:15 -Then she went to that Hollywood Walk of Fame or whatever it is where they have the star with celebrities’ names on them. She found Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s star. Great stuff. Totally worth the trip. A fucking pavement tile.

Then she goes into a souvenir shop.

This is awful. She travelled from rural Norway to Los Angeles for this? To check out the souvenir shops? How much money did this trip cost?

4:45 – Then they went on a guided tour bus.

These are the world’s worst travellers. How about seeing the way that people actually live? Although, she apparently goes to Skid Row later in the video. By accident. But I’m not saying that you have to hang out with the homeless. I’m saying do normal stuff that normal people do.

5:30 – She was apparently forced to go to some place by the “sponsor” of this video. Great.

7:00 – She meets a guy in a game shop who claims to be Norwegian. He isn’t. He’s a fake as fuck American, the sort who are common in Los Angeles. He might have had a great grandmother who passed through Norway once. Then Ircha Gaming suggests that he should see the Northern Lights in Norway. Yeah. That or go to the souvenir shops in Norway. Just get a postcard with a picture of the Northern Lights.

8:45 – She went to an anime store.

I don’t know. It just seems stupid to me. Why travel 5,000 for this shit?

I’m conflicted on travelling in general. I hate it. I hate doing tourist shit but the non-tourist shit, while more worthwhile, is boring and not worth travelling for.

I went to Amsterdam. I suggested staying in a cheap hotel that’s on a boat. My girlfriend refused. It would have been an experience, though.

So we did what she wanted to do. I told her to plan everything because I always have to plan everything with her. She never does shit. So we went to a petting zoo and a purse museum and a cat museum and shit like this. There’s a museum of paintings of cats and live cats are wandering around. Stupid shit like this.

The more worthwhile stuff was seeing what people actually do. We took a commuter boat just to some residential area. It was just interesting to see what people do on a day to day basis. Walk around the area. The grocery stores are always fascinating. This sort of thing. But it’s boring. Why am I spending thousands of pounds for this? I can stay at home and do normal commuter shit. The benefit of seeing how the average resident of Amsterdam lives in minimal. What am I really going to do with this information? Who cares.

And I said, “Hey, let’s go to the Red Light District. Let’s go to one of those weed bars.” That’s what people go to Amsterdam for, after all. That’s the only reason why anybody goes. No. She’s a total fucking square. Refused to go. We walked through some area that had a lot of weed stores and whatnot, and stopped at some shops but that was the extent of it.

The trip wasn’t wholly without merit. It’s the things that you see in between going to your shitty tourist destinations that can be worthwhile. But is it worth however many thousands of pounds this cost me? No.

The bathrooms in the hotel had sort of transparent walls. Like frosted glass. So it was amusing seeing my girlfriend panicking over that. The toilet was right near to the bed so you could see the person sitting on the toilet or whatever. She was trying to affix towels to the wall but there was no place to hang them. I’m not going to watch you take a shit. And I’ve known you for ten years. Just relax. We’re operating on the honour system here. Extremely peculiar choice of wall material, though. This wasn’t some shady hotel. Families went there. Whatever.

10:00 – She went to the Hollywood sign. Great.

10:15 – Universal Studios. Eugh. Great.

So that was her trip. Fucking terrible.

I’ll take Ircha Gaming to Amsterdam. Fill her up with some brownies and then watch her on the toilet from the comfort of my bed. That would be a trip worth taking. But this shit where she just went to some fucking video game shops? Fuck no. Why…it’s preposterous. Why spend all of this money for that?