Gamer Girls

He’s a big…hockey fan? I know that he’s mentioned it before. He said that he played as a child but…I don’t know. I find it weird. I don’t think that I’ve ever known anyone who likes hockey.

He also enjoys carbonated beverages. And when it’s late at night, I enjoy talking about videos that are only four minutes long. So let’s check it out.

0:30 – He mentions the calorie count. He always does this. Just don’t drink it if you’re that concerned about calories.

1:00 – This is some kind of “hip hop” soda. Newt doesn’t understand what makes it hip hop, nor do I. But it’s on the label.

1:30 – “It just tastes like Sprite.”

Fantastic. So that’s the video.

What else can he try? How about beverages from around the world? It will cost money but if he has money to hire prostitute “actresses” for his “films” he has money for international soda.

I think that they just have the usual shit in the UK. Except for Irn Bru in Scotland. I read that it’s more popular in Scotland than Coke. It’s probably true. I see Irn Bru everywhere. It’s just a…I don’t know…mystery flavour beverage. It’s fine.

Oh, what if Newt got a can of American Coke, which I assume still have high fructose corn syrup and got, say, a Mexican can of Coke, which I believe uses sugar (like everywhere else on earth). Then he can do a taste comparison.

These limited time flavours kind of suck dick. I know that it’s all the rage in the US but I’m thinking it would be better to try actual, established sodas from around the world.

You don’t even have to order it, which might be expensive with shipping. Is there an import shop or an international grocery store anywhere in Philadelphia?

Yeah, of course. Queen Village Food Market, which sells Middle Eastern food.

I went to a Middle Eastern shop before. I was standing there at the counter with my purchase, actually, I think it was a soda, and the guy was just on his phone. For like…three minutes. No exaggeration. Then a customer in a fucking ninja outfit stood behind me which prompted another cashier to immediately open her register to assist this ninja. So I said fuck this and I left. Never went back. And I was a semi-regular. I enjoy all of the fine import shops.

Any time I see a Polish shop, which is fairly often, I stop in. Check out the fine selection of Polish candy. Maybe get some cookies. Maybe get a can of delicious Gołąbki.

I go to the Chinese shops. Get some Samyang spicy chicken ramen. Get some weird dried fruits. Get some Choco Pies.

I go to Indian shops. Get some samosas. Get some weird Indian savory snacks.

I was telling my girlfriend about my fondness for import shops and asked if she shares my passion for them. No. She says she’s never been in one. She asked why I go. She was completely perplexed and suggested that there was some sexual motivation. Like I’m trying to pick up immigrants in there.

No. It’s nothing like that. Although, I do appreciate helping out my fellow immigrants. I like the different food. Is that so crazy? And it’s usually fairly cheap.

And it is a more comfortable experience knowing that you’re largely with other immigrants. Even if other people don’t realise that I’m an immigrant or obviously that I’m not from their country, I just feel more comfortable. They’re people who more or less had a similar experience than me. Experienced similar struggles and discrimination and just random bullshit.

Not that I do my full shopping at these places. But I pick up a few things.

I’ll tell you what’s dogshit, though. Pakistani-run corner shops. Go fuck yourself with your price gouging and rude as fuck staff. And they don’t even sell Pakistani shit usually. It’s just the regular grocery store shit but at a 50% markup. Why? Why would I go here? The nearest normal grocery store is a ten minute walk at the most.