Arleen Sorkin died, guys! I’ll give you a moment to pick yourself up off the floor. Yes, THE Arleen Sorkin.
WHO THE FUCK IS ARLEEN SORKIN?
I’ll look this up in a moment but I’m thinking that she had something to do with Uncle Joey from Full House. But she wasn’t on the show. No. I’m thinking that she was the co-host of Uncle Joey’s AWFUL America’s Funniest Home Videos rip off called America’s Funniest People.
Let me look this up.
I was right!
She was also on Days of Our Lives and as the person who Newt plagiarised mentioned, was the voice of Harley Quinn on some Batman cartoon. Oh, Batman: The Animated Series. Yeah, I used to watch that.
But to me, she’ll always be the co-host of that fucking dreadful America’s Funniest People. Even when I was watching it, as a kid, I knew that it was horrible. I hated the show. It was painfully unfunny. But I still watched it just to be “ironic”, I guess.
I remember that they would have segments where they go out on the streets, put a microphone in front of random people they meet, and basically say, “Okay, now do something funny.” You can imagine how that went. It was never anything even approaching comedy.
Let me look for some clips.
There’s a channel that has full episodes. And America’s Funniest Home Videos too. Actually, mostly America’s Funniest Home videos. The videos have been up for three years so no copyright strikes so far.
https://www.youtube.com/@BestAFVonU2BE/videos
0:30 – Wow, this is even worse than I remembered. They start the show with a GOD AWFUL skit that’s horribly acted and horribly written.
Then there’s a guy with his submission for the show. He’s playing “Four box tic tac toe.” Holy shit is not funny.
2:00 – Now we’re back to Arleen and her terrible comedy stylings. The skit is about selling jewelry and it’s not going well for her. So she says, “Maybe I should just go back to selling what really moves.”
Your ass? If she’s selling, I’m buying. I mean, not now, obviously. The woman is dead. And she was 67. But in 1990, I would. Although, I was like 12 at the time. Maybe she wouldn’t go for it.
Oh, there was actually another co-host of America’s Funniest People. It was Arleen Sorkin from 1990 to 1992 but then Tawny Kitaen from 1992 to 1994. And she also died recently. In 2021. I don’t remember her but no doubt Newt tweeted about her death at the time.
Anyway, I’m watching more of this show. It’s fucking awful. They show these HORRIBLE “jokes” that people in some mall are telling and then it cuts to the studio audience, who presumably just got done watching this shit, and they’re laughing hysterically. It’s impossible. There’s no way that they were watching these videos and having a reaction like that.
God. I can’t watch this any more.
But anyway, Newt Wallen. Newt Wallen is really broken up over the death of Arleen Sorkin. He said “No”.
Oh. That’s really interesting, Newt. Any memories of Arleen Sorking that you want to share?
No.
Have you ever so much as said the words “Arleen Sorkin” in your life before?
No.
Oh great. What an asshole. Death-obsessed piece of shit.
He retweeted about Bob Barker dying. Oh really. Bob Barker, you say. I thought that he died years ago. No. It was only recently. He was 99. So young. I can see why Newt was broken up about this. Couldn’t even be bothered to write “No” this time. Bob Barker didn’t even deserve a “No”. He only got a re-tweet.
He’s never written about Bob Barker in his life. Not once. But now that he’s dead, hey I have to tweet about this. People have to know that Bob Barker is dead. I must tell the world about this. It’s not enough that every print, television, and internet news outlet has covered the story. I, Newt Wallen, must also spread the word. To the 15 ladyboys who go on my Twitter.
And he re-tweets about William Friedkin. A spritely 87 years young. Newt wants us to know. Because he’s a death-obsessed asshole.
Never talked about him before. Not once. Show me the William Friedkin tweets.
And even when he died, can’t be bothered to say anything about him. What’s the point of any of this? It’s just Newt re-tweeted dead celebrities.
What criteria is even being used? Arleen Sorkin? Really? He’s a big Arleen Sorkin fan? How did she make the cut?
He’s a fucking moron.
It’s quite ironic this post comes today. I looked up Bob Barker the last time you mentioned Newt about a week ago. I wanted to see if he was still alive. You used price is right music in your blog and I always liked the show. He was alive last week. After reading up on him I was rooting for him to make it to 100. I guess he didn’t want to go over. Ha ha. Oh sad. Anyway I was saving the info for the next time you posted about Newt but you went in a different direction a while. Oh well.
Here’s a list of celebrities still alive over 90 from Brian Griffin’s favorite magazine Parade.
https://parade.com/celebrities/old-celebrities-over-90
Bob Barker was on here too it needs updated. But pick any of them. Bob Newhart, Shatner, Dick Van Dyke (maybe PVC Bondage Guy digs the name there) The principal from boy meets world. The list goes on! We all know and like these actors or at least recognize their fame but they aren’t on my mind and I might be bummed out when they die but that’s life. So why not make a post or a list or a video about people you appreciate that are still here! You might end up two days late like me if you don’t!
I stopped talking about Newt because he stopped uploading after that prostitute left. I suspect that the prostitute was giving him the business over my posts about her and he got upset.
That’s a good reason! Also notice his “no” has no punctuation. So what does it mean? I was looking through that episode of AFP and it’s really a lot like the stupid shit people do online to get viral. Essentially the same. I heard the show was created because too many people were faking videos to be on AFHV. I remember Bob Saget saying a few times the videos had to be authentic but I guess the network just said eh do whatever make a new show out of it. Was Dave Coulier ever funny? He imitates Popeye and it sucks. He fucked Alanis Morisette which isn’t an achievement.
There’s not just Dave Coulier’s terrible Popeye impression. He also had a terrible Bullwinkle impression. And there was the Jackalope that got extensive play in America’s Funniest People. Some uncomfortable-looking taxidermied character that would say and do unfunny stuff. And on Full House he had that woodchuck puppet. But no, he’s never been remotely funny.
What? the prostitute left? Weren’t they close friends? I mean, she could be both right? and offer sex, friendship an videos in exchange for a fee.
The lack of exclamation point on the “No” makes it look like Newt disagrees that the event happened.
Newt’s reaction is solely because of her voicing of Harley Quinn.
He remains hot and bothered over a cartoon character, like all nerds of his ilk.
It is very disturbing how mentally ill PVC bondage guy is with each weekly livestream they do. This week she talks about going to a Furry orgy at a convention and then talks for over an hour about how she is spiritual connected to Mick Foley while Newt and the chat make noises and quotes he used to make. She gets so worked up and starts shaking and can’t speak, and at one point almost hysterical shaking back and forth. It was really sickening and I felt really bad for how messed up she is. Meanwhile what does Newt do?? nothing of course and tells her it’s OK you are OK. What a scumbag this guy is and of course during the stream he talks about how he knows someone that is connected to every movie brought up or person they want to talk about. I’m sure 99% of it is BS and the fact that he is still doing this lying to sound cool to his 30 “fans” is an embarrassment to itself. This is almost unwatchable and very sad