Cool Japanese Snacks! -Zuvi

At first I thought, “So she’s going to show some Japanese candy. Who gives a shit? I’ve seen this a thousand times before.”

But then I thought, “Maybe I’m too jaded. Yes, it’s been done a billion times but so has everything else. Let’s give it a chance.”

No. She starts the video by saying that this is just some subscription box who sent her a free sample. This is dog shit. She couldn’t even be bothered to pick out some candy that she’s genuinely interested in. She’s just reviewing one of those shitty fucking subscription boxes. Fuck this lazy ass bullshit.

You can see this woman naked on the internet, by the way. Her links are here:

According to that, you have to be over 20 to see the pornographic stuff. Why? Presumably, that’s the law in Japan but she lives in the US.

According to her OnlyFans, you’re not allowed to print the images. Who’s doing that? Who’s printing pornographic images? Let me fire up my dot matrix printer so that I can print out this pornographic picture and enjoy it on the go.

When I first got the internet, I printed out a still frame from…what was it? Showgirls, I guess. That was pornography back in the day. No smart phones, of course. This was like 1998. So yeah, I printed this picture out. I think I had an ink jet printer but no color ink so it was just black and white. Then I folded the picture up and put it in my pocket and would use it in the bathroom. Masturbation was no easy task back then. Spanking it to black and white, poor quality, freeze frame printings of mainstream movies.

I had a few magazines as well. Playboy and Penthouse. Those sucked dick, and not in a good way. But I had some more explicit magazines like Busty Beauties and Gent: Home of the D Cups. Breast enthusiast magazines mostly. I also had some Asian stuff like Oriental Dolls. Not much, though. My entire pornographic magazine collection was about a dozen magazines.

And before that, we’re talking about scrambled Spice Channel stuff. We had some kind of descrambler but it only descrambled the image for like 30 seconds and then it would be scrambled for two minutes or so. It would alternate like that. So you really had to squint and time your ejaculation.

I also had a collection of just mainstream stuff. There was a TV listings magazine (not TV Guide but just whatever came in the newspaper) that had Dolly Parton on the cover. I had a milk ad that had Naomi Campbell in a little dress. I had some surprisingly risque ads from Cosmopolitan magazine. This sort of thing.

Anyway, for $45, you can watch this Japanese woman with no breasts and no personality watching hentai. No, I think I’m okay. Where does she get these prices? Who’s buying any of this?

For $150, you can have a 7 minute video of her having anal sex with her husband/pimp in what even she describes as a “messy room”. What? No. Are you out of your mind? I’m not paying anything for that.

She also seems to do a lot of self-fisting videos. Come on. That’s just gross.

That pimp/husband has no idea what people want to see. It’s not this shit, I’ll tell you that.

So anyway, she’s going to talk about candy now. From this subscription box. Let the good times roll.

1:15 – Rice crackers. Is this happening? Is how she’s starting the video? A video about Japanese candy and she starts with RICE CRACKERS?

I think that I’d rather see that revolting fisting video, frankly.

She’s showed about three items so far and they’re all video game related. This sucks. Don’t they sell regular candy in Japan?

9:30 – She says that she doesn’t chew gum because she has a problem with her jaw. She continues and says that she has to wear a mouthguard when she sleeps. Too much dick sucking, I guess. Or she seems to do a lot of videos where she attempts to see how much stuff she can fit in her pussy. Maybe she also does videos where she sees how much stuff she can fit in her mouth. What other orifices can this idea be extended to?

So that’s the video. Wow. That was some boring stuff. She did mention that it was mostly video game related candy as opposed to “traditional” candy, though.

At the beginning of the video, she said that she regularly gets candy from Japan and she showed huge containers of this stuff. Why? She’s lived in the US for many years. I’m thinking at least ten. Is the candy in Japan really that much better than the candy in the US?

I’ve eaten some Pocky in my time. It’s not great. And the portion sizes are miniscule. Japan seems to emphasise cute packaging over quality product. You get some chalky, bland candy in a Hello Kitty tin for five bucks or whatever. No thanks.

I’ve never even considered importing candy from the US but US candy is surely better than British candy. At least the non-chocolate stuff. There’s certainly more variety in the US. Way more. But who gives a shit? It’s candy. The shit they have in the grocery stores is good enough. Jelly Babies or whatever. Fine. I’ll go with it. Sure, I’d rather have those Life Savers gummies but who cares? I’m not going to go out of my fucking way to import this shit and pay the astronomical prices that people want for imported candy.

I did get a couple of tubs of Red Vines, over the years, though, from Amazon. They don’t sell licorice in the UK. Not really, anyway. It exists as a generic candy in bite size pieces or coils in any “pick and mix” place that might still exist but you can’t find a pack of Twizzlers or something like that.

It’s peculiar because licorice is popular in Northern Europe. I mean actual licorice, not so much that red “licorice”. But no, there’s no licorice culture in the UK.

Anyway, I’m going to go see how much licorice I can fit in my ass now.

8 thoughts on “Cool Japanese Snacks! -Zuvi

  1. It is all “boring grocery store bullshit” all of it was picked off the rack at some supermarket. It all costs less than $1. This company is ripping people off but the customers don’t care because it has Pokémon on it. This type of video is THE WORST because it’s a pure paid advertisement. Send off a bunch of stuff for next to nothing and get free promotion in exchange. The idiot channels also make money off of this. Maybe not much. Maybe $10. Maybe some new subscribers. But it’s shit. And everyone does it. It makes me sick of YouTube. People think it’s their “job” and they ladle out shit. Or they want to be viral so it can become a “job” and same deal.

    I think the hottest porn star by far is/was Asa Akira. She’s starting to lose her looks but in her glory days she was fucking hot! Being Asian also helps so I guess she’s the hottest Asian by default. Maybe Jenna Haze is the hottest White. I remember around 2010 Asa was going to do her first anal scene. It was big news in the porno industry. It was a 3 DVD set and she got ass rammed a lot! It was awesome. But there’s no way in hell I’d pay $150 for that. And she’s the queen! Leave piracy aside. Imagine it’s pay or nothing. 150 is way way too much for any porn. Yet somehow these ugly girls find retards who pay. How? Where do these idiots get the money? What makes some loser girl. think she’s worth that? She’s not. No one is!

    I think that even though porn was hard to come by in the 90s and wasn’t so great, I think it was the right amount. It was exciting at the time. But it was expensive and the real thing was much better. If you were in your 20s relying on porn daily it was a sign that you were a loser. There actually was a stigma and shame to it. Not because you were a “perv” but because you couldn’t get a real piece of ass! If I was in 9th grade and had unlimited HD porn with every act imaginable I’d have a right arm like Popeye and never leave the house. Maybe this is why brain dead autistic retards can’t get laid. They think every girl has to be an 10 and ready to fuck in an instant. There’s no moment of clarity when you realize real pussy is better and to earn it you have to take your chances, learn nobody is perfect and improve yourself.

    1. Asa Akira never tossed my salad and she was absolutely awful on that Bobby Lee podcast (which is also awful). Degenerates the lot of them.

      But yeah, the prices are completely insane. You can get a 90 minute video DVD, shot professionally, with professional porno sluts for $20. Or, for $150, you can get some dark, 7 minute, grainy bullshit, shot on a tripod, from far away, of some nobody with no tits having sex within the confines of marriage.

      And you’re right. Porn really lost it’s loser stigma. I never thought about it. But yeah, back in the day, guys would lie about watching porn. “Of course I don’t watch porn. I’m too busy fucking the ladies.”

      But now it’s totally normalised. I guess because of the abundance of it and people sending their own stuff. Girlfriends sending nudes to their boyfriends and whatnot. It’s just endemic in the culture now.

  2. Must everything be about porn? Why don’t these women attempt to do something different?
    Now that I think about it, I’ve seen a couple of them trying to get into other niche markets, yes, doing different stuff. In Mexico and South America, a girl (well, a woman, she must be in her late 20s) became social media famous because she talked about HR-related stuff… like what to do if your employer wants to fire you without reason, how to ask for a better salary and so on. She became so famous overnight that she got offered a podcast, plenty of sponsors, and more.
    Well, this fame eventually faded out, especially because her content became just ads. Yes, those sponsors really milked her out. Her views took a real drop and… you’ll never guess it… she started making videos in bath suits. Goodbye, credibility.
    I could give more examples, but yeah, women seem to always gravitate to the only thing they can sell: their bodies.

    1. Yeah, it’s just boring. I don’t get it either. How much porn do people want or need? I don’t want to see any of these “Youtubers” naked. Except John Riggs, of course. But these people have absolutely no ideas so they just start doing porn. As a 35 year old, average (at best) looking woman? Come on. Who wants this?

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