https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J5rWfj9wzE
This is the second one of his WTF Wednesday series. The first one was Showgirls. I just found it uncomfortable viewing. Did Newt jerk off right before doing this video or is he going to do it right after? I don’t want to think about this.
He has a box of Count Chocula in the background. Is this intentional? Oh, yeah. Because there’s also a box of Boo Berry and Monster Mash. So…Newt decorates his home with cereal boxes. Interesting.
1:30 – Newt says that he has a Batman figure on his stove but it’s not a fire hazard because he doesn’t use his stove. So…he just always eats out, I guess. This is somebody who hasn’t figured out how to be an adult whatsoever. This is bad money management and bad dietary habits.
2:00 – He says that the Batman figure is there for the ladies but that the last time a lady was on the channel was in September.
This is very offensive to his legions of transwomen viewers. I see them all the time on his Twitter and he responds to them. So he knows about them. Are these not women? There are loads of dudes in dresses women on his Twitter.
Speaking of Twitter, Newt got a new car.
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1479566061276172304
It’s an Audi. I don’t know the model but I think that the cheapest Audi model is about $37,000.
How is Newt getting all of this money? He’s plagiarising currency?
Maybe he’s just leasing, that seems to be popular these days, but even so couldn’t he have leased a cheaper car?
I haven’t driven in 15 years so I don’t know how things are done now but when I was driving, I’d go to the car dealership with a stack of cash (or a cheque) and say, “What can you show me for $5,000?” or whatever I had. And then I’d get a decent used car.
Why doesn’t he do that? Wouldn’t that be a better use of his money? He just started a new job and he has health conditions that he says he’s always concerned about paying for the treatment.
No, let’s get a new Audi. This is very womanly behaviour. I’m trading in broad stereotypes here but think about the woman who just had a bad day so she goes out and buys something expensive to make herself feel better. That’s what Newt is doing.
Does he think that he’s going to get bitches with this car? Forget it. Women aren’t impressed with Audis. So this was a horrible purchase.
2:45 – So then he starts telling us about this complete piece of shit of a movie.
5:00 – Newt goes on an extended rant about people who make jokes about horse-faced women. I can’t tell if this is a shot on Crystal Quin or not.
5:30 – Newt tells us about some failed film project that he had involving the aforementioned Horseface McGee. The producers didn’t like Crystal’s acting performance so they decided not to go ahead with the project.
6:45 – He doesn’t want to use this character again because he feels that Ms McGee should have some say in this so he created a different character which has all of the same characteristics of the old character but a different name.
This is why Newt is the ideas man. He’s full of great ideas. Each one fresher and more original than the last. Okay, Shark Vampire is out but what about…Shark Mummy. Nobody’s done that yet.
7:00 – Weird shout out to Erin Plays. He’s talking about that tv that she made Mike purchase for her so that she could do a video on it and then never look at it again. Let’s see if I can find my review of this.
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/11/testing-nes-games-on-awesome-retro.html
That was in November 2020. We’ve never seen or heard of that tv since. No, that’s not true. There was also the tweet that Madam Fomo made about this tv. Mike had this tv shipped to some john of Madam Fomo’s called Retro RGB. Madam Fomo tweeted a picture of her with the tv.
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/11/destinyfomo-has-mike-mateis-television.html
This was also in November 2020. Then Madam Fomo tried to get that article removed, using false copyright claims (something that she does repeatedly) and was unsuccessful in her attempt. Hey Madam Fomo! Are you still a prostitute? Good stuff.
So Newt’s idea is for a character called Anna Log (as in “analogue”) who’s a sexy lady with a television for a head. I see. Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen.
7:45 – “I have a million ideas I never do anything with”.
Thank the almighty fuck. Well, for the last part of that sentence, anyway.
8:00 – So Newt starts his story about how when he was in the 5th grade he rented this piece of shit from the video store.
He talks about how his parents let him watch whatever he wanted.
I don’t know. Thinking back, I was never told that I couldn’t watch particular movies but…I never wanted to watch this shit so the issue never came up. I wasn’t some deranged lunatic who wanted to see dismemberments and whatnot.
To this day, I don’t think that I’ve ever seen a horror movie in the 1980s gore sense. Why would I? That shit has absolutely no value. This is what psychopaths do with their time.
You watch Monster Madness or whatever and it’s James Rolfe reading the plagiarised scripts of Newt Wallen and he’ll talk about his favourite kills and goriest disfigurements and whatnot and this holds absolutely zero interest to me. I can’t even understand the appeal for anybody. There has to be something seriously wrong with you to want to watch this. It’s this sort of degenerate bullshit that erodes society.
8:45 – Newt compares “titties and terror” to “peanut butter and jelly” and “two good things that go together.”.
This is what I’m talking about. This is a sick person. He’s combined sex with violence.
12:45 – He’s in the store and wants to rent Faces of Death. He compares this to an episode of Freaks & Geeks where the high school kids want to buy beer and the clerk refuses.
Maybe if Newt didn’t spend all of his time watching degenerate films he would realise that the obvious comparison is American Graffiti. Indeed, I’ve never seen Freaks & Geeks, it was not a popular show, but from the description, I assume that the scene that he’s talking about is a parody of the scene from American Graffiti. This scene was also parodied in an episode of the Simpsons wherein Homer wants to purchase illegal fireworks.
13:00 – His cat’s name is Elvira. The more you learn about Newt…I mean…this is just depressing. He’s wasted his life. But it doesn’t have to continue like this. Fucking do something. Get a normal job and normal interests.
16:45 – He goes on a long rant about how he doesn’t like animal abuse in movies because he likes animals more than people. This is just further proof, if any was needed, that there’s something seriously wrong with him. He enjoys watching people get disemboweled but not animals.
21:00 – Newt put the movie on for his co-workers when he worked in a movie theatre but only one other person wanted to watch this shit.
That’s the video.
But yeah, I remember this piece of shit. A schoolmate’s father owned a video store and you had to be 18 in order to rent this. That’s the extent of my story because I had zero interest in this shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QROsCcpd1E
You know how Tony found this blog because he was obviously googling himself like an egomaniac?Imagine if Newt found this blog lol. That would probably get pretty dark quick.That said this was a hilarious read and yes there's no other explanation but leasing that Audi. I live like one state away from him and there's no way he just has 35-70k lying around to buy that brand new. It's a newer model year version too. It's not like it's 10 years old and used and he got a deal somehow. I found it even more idiotic that he posted that pic of barely any snow on his car while complaining too. It snowed last week here and it took me maybe 3 minutes to take a brush to my car to get the layer of much more snow off of my car? So what the hell Newt? lol.I will argue however that Freaks and Geeks was pretty popular or at least heavily became so in the later cult sense. It's a funny and emotional coming of age plot. It's certainly a lot better and less depressing than The Wonder Years. Main point being of course he mentioned it because he's really stuck on comparing moments in his own life to movies and tv shows and I bet he wishes he was one of the “losers” in Freaks and Geeks because the whole show is about how popular and not popular kids all have problems growing up etc. His downward spiral since being fired continues.
Yeah, I know that Freaks and Geeks became popular after it was cancelled and there was a campaign to prevent it being cancelled but people apparently weren't watching. I never watched it.Tony found the site because he checks his referral link thing. If somebody goes to your site or channel or whatever by clicking a link, you'll see it.I assume that Newt has done this as well and knows about the site but I try to be positive. I appreciate that he's depressed and whatnot. I hope nothing but the best for Newt and I think that it was total bullshit that he was fired. But I can't endorse shit like Shark Vampire. That's going to be catastrophic if he tries to pursue stuff like that which is doomed to fail.
Oh is that how he found it? I seeYeah I think Newt is much less of a freak than most of the Screenwave people as well, but this sadsack path he's taken since then isn't doing himself any favors lol. Stop pining for a terrible woman like Horseface also.