Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjBiLfSywec

0:00 – “I have my friend Melissa holding the camera because I don’t want to use a tripod because I’m not professional.”

Take that, Horseface.  Newt is back in the game.  He’s getting all the bitches.  I wonder how much he’s paying Melissa to hang out with him.

He’s talking to this woman and he’s looking up to do it.  He’s sitting.  Is she standing and holding the camera at crotch level?  I don’t understand this.  Why isn’t she at the same level that he is?  

1:00 – “I always wanted to do a paranormal podcast.”

Oh fuck.  What a missed opportunity.  Jimmy was doing those Atlantis and Bigfoot and whatever podcasts for a little while.  Was Newt already fired by then?  

Speaking of Screenwave podcasts, I was doing some searching on Reddit from years ago and I discovered something called The Cuddle Pile Podcast   Here’s the reference that started my search:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheCinemassacre/comments/688k5f/mike_matei_on_cuddle_pile_podcast/

It was a podcast hosted by Justin Silverman and Tony from Hack the Movies, but I think that this was before Hack the Movies so he was just Tony.  The podcast ran from October 2016 to December 2017.  There were 56 episodes so about three times as many as The Cinemassacre Podcast.

I think that they ended the podcast around about the time that they started working for Screenwave or doing shit for AVGN.  I don’t know when they started working at Screenwave.  Maybe they had been working there for a while already.

They seem to have talked about nerd topics for the most part (video games and comic books) but they also branch out.  They talk about Godzilla in the first episode.  They have right wing stuff about Trump and “libtard cuck Nazis”.  That seems to be Tony’s influence.  He injects a lot of right wing stuff into his podcasts “ironically”.  It’s what he actually believes, though.  They pick Oscar winners in one episode.  

They also had some guests.  Ryan Schott was an early guest so I suspect that they were already working at Screenwave at this point.  Johanna was a guest.  He talks about spending Valentine’s Day with Johanna at a strip club in that episode.  These are classy folk.  Mike Matei was a guest.  ReviewTech USA was also a guest.  

Anyway, I was interested in checking some of these out but they’ve been scrubbed from the internet pretty good.  You can read the descriptions at the link below but the audio files are all gone.

https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/cuddle-pile-podcast-217029/episodes/recent

Maybe this could be Crazy Bobdunga’s next Lost Media video.

The only related thing I found is this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfRX_L5FCWw

It’s Tony in bed with Justin and they’re reading sexual ads that people have put on Craiglist or something in regards to Magfest.  It’s guys looking for women (I guess) to have sex with while they’re at Magfest.  Just some wacky hijinks from Tony and Justin but maybe it’s something that the boys on Reddit would blow out of all proportion.

Anyway, back to Newt.  Oh, yeah.  He wanted to do a paranormal podcast.  Maybe he can hook up with The Irate Gamer.  Irate Gamer (Chris BORES) does that horrendous ghost hunting shit.

1:15 – He actually calls out Bigfoot.  What a shame he couldn’t appear on the podcast.  Maybe Newt is what could have saved The Cinemassacre Podcast.  

2:15 – Newt is telling a story about a haunted movie theatre he worked in.  Or something.  He used to be Justin Silverman’s boss and would drive Justin to comic book stores.  “His dad would be like, ‘You’re not trying to fuck my son, are you?’  And I was like, ‘No, I’m just hanging out with this cool little fat kid.  He’s cool.'”

This puts things into some perspective.  Justin has said before that his parents were, let’s just say lousy.  I won’t repeat the details.  But this is another piece of the puzzle.  What kind of father would say this about their son?  

And how much older is Newt than Justin?  I figured that they were about the same age.  

Anyway, Newt was Justin’s boss.  And then years later, Justin is Newt’s boss and he fired him from Screenwave over some bullshit.  I don’t know if there’s any irony to be found here but it does further illustrate the high level of douchebaggery involved in this.  “Somebody is definitely going to get fired over this.”  Then fire James Rolfe, you fucking coward.  Or even yourself for not checking this shit.

3:15 – Newt left this movie theatre job because there was a change of management and he got a pay cut.  Then he got cancer so he needed money.  So he got a job as a “lot boy”.  Melissa asked what this is, which is the same question that I had, and Newt explains that it’s a person at a car dealership who cleans the cars and whatnot.

“I hated it.  I used to spend time in the bathroom taking long shits just so I wouldn’t have to be — I know, you’re turned on right now, I can tell.”

He’s saying this while looking up to Melissa.  This is not how you woo the ladies.  Just download Tinder.  This is desperate shit.

He also worked at a used record store on the weekends.  Same as Erin, but I assume that she was working at the record store full time.

I don’t really get this, though.  He quit the job at the movie theatre so that he can clean cars and work in a record store?  Wasn’t the movie theatre job a full-time job with benefits (like health insurance)?  Maybe it wasn’t, I don’t know.  But he was a manager so you’d think it would be.  

I worked some shitty jobs and they had health insurance.  So I don’t think that the quality of the job really corresponds to having health insurance or not.  I did a job where I made eight bucks an hour but it had full benefits.  That’s the reason why a lot of older people worked there, just for the health insurance.  This is a pretty common situation in the US.

He’s not going to pay for cancer treatment out of pocket on a “lot boy” wage.  He needs insurance.  

4:00 – Then he went to a job interview at some other movie theatre.  He tells the story about the interview.  Nothing too interesting.  And he got the job.  It was some kind of assistant manager job, if I recall correctly.

5:45 – “Melissa, you’ve been to my apartment.  You know that I have old film crap.”

Oh man.  Suck on that, Horseface.  Newt has moved on.  

This is blatant.  What the fuck.  The only good news is that Melissa doesn’t appear on camera.  She maintains her anonymity during this embarrassing spectacle.

He also keeps wiping his nose.  You need a tissue there, Newt?  This is not appealing.  Although, he obviously already has Melissa in his back pocket.  He doesn’t need to try any more.  It’s a power move.  He can say or do whatever disgusting thing he wants now and he knows that she’s not going anywhere.

6:30 – “I was seeing — I was hanging out with this girl at the time, Kelsey.”

He doesn’t stop with this shit.  We get it, Newt.  The ladies love you.  But you don’t have to keep them all on their toes by constantly reminding them of this.  Have some compassion.  They just want somebody to love them without the constant mind games.

Haha.  Newt says that Kelsey was a special education teacher and he told her that he’s hearing ghosts in this movie theatre.  So he says, “She was like, ‘Oh god.  I deal with these kind of people during the day and now I’m dealing with it at night.'”  I was just reminded of James Rolfe, Mr Special Education himself, and his deep appreciation in this sort of mentally retarded shit.

7:00 – So they’re in this theatre, alone, at night.  Newt is planning on having sex with this woman.  Then something yanks this woman’s hair back and Newt suggests that it’s a ghost.  

I’m not going to give the run down of this stupid story.  You can check it out for yourself if you’re interested.  

7:45 – “Sorry, my nose is running like crazy.”

Yeah.  We noticed.

Then Newt flirts with this woman some more.  This is brutal.  Why release something like this?  Just to make Horseface jealous?  Come on.  It’s embarrassing.  

8:15 – A veiled reference to the time that he met Tony from Hack the Movies.  He doesn’t name Tony, though.  At least I think it’s Tony.  He mentioned Justin by name so it’s not him.  Maybe it’s Crystal, I don’t know.

Oh, yeah, it is Crystal.  He referred to her as a “friend”, that’s what confused me.  But then he says that he went on a date with this individual who can’t be named (Horseface McGee).

Then he starts flirting with Melissa some more.  This is…just bad.  Everything about this is bad.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that you lost your job and your ex-girlfriend that you paid to hang out with but this is not healthy.  

9:00 – He’s talking about spending Valentine’s Day with Horseface and she had a gift for him.

12:15 – He talks about his urethra collapsing.  What?  We don’t need to know this.  He then tells a disgusting story about this and, again, this is a misguided attempt at wooing Melissa.  

He ends the video by flirting with Melissa some more.  Just terrible.

Here’s some free relationship advice, Newt.  Don’t try so hard.  Let the ladies come to you.

Here’s a small example.  I almost never text my girlfriend.  She texts me.  I usually respond but I’m not texting her out of the blue.  She does that.

If I bombarded her with texts and was constantly trying to be witty and impress her and acting like a dancing monkey she would say, “Who is this loser who has nothing else going on in his life?  Am I the only woman he can get?  This is pathetic” and she’d quickly lose interest. 

It’s a little thing but you can apply this concept to loads of situations.  Women don’t like this try-hard shit.  They don’t like pick up lines.  They want somebody who’s not interested in them.  They want somebody who has other options or at least appears to have other options.  Even if you don’t have any other options, pretend that you do.  Give the impression that you do.  

I’m not saying be an asshole but make it seem like you don’t give a shit if this relationship continues or not.  It’s not going to crush you if it ended.  You’re not going to go on Youtube and start crying if this woman stops talking to you.  

I don’t wish to suggest that I’m some sort of expert on the ladies or that I’m getting all of the bitches or what have you.  But I’ve known my girlfriend for about the same length of time, if not longer, than you’ve known Horseface McGee.  And my girlfriend still talks to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSJMISy5UgY