Nosferatu 100th Anniversary – Cinemassacre

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2zpXHt__ts

Hey guys!  Remember Nosferatu?

I do remember Nosferatu.  Not from seeing the film.  I’m not interested.  But I remember it from the 25 videos that James has already made about this movie.

0:00 – That is some hair, Jimmy.  You’re a bald man.  Just get over it.  Nobody cares.  

I had a band teacher who was bald.  Classic horseshoe pattern.  He was in his 40s, I guess.  But he would take the hair from one side of his head and comb it over to the other side.  The classic combover.  

This is how things were done in the 1980s.  If you were bald, you would try to work with what you have to try to hide the fact that you’re bald.  

But we live in more progressive times now.  That’s why you rarely see combovers any more.  That’s why the toupee industry has completely collapsed.  Nobody cares if you’re bald.  There’s no shame in it.  Just trim it down or shave it.  Problem solved.  No hat.  No having to make sure that your head is always at the right angle to not show your giant bald spot.  Just, “I’m 40.  I’m bald.  Get used to it.”

This video is part of his Green Screen Classics series that he’s working on.  It’s Jimmy in front of a green screen with some wacky shit being projected on to the green screen.  

When Newt Wallen wants to make a video where he reviews a movie in a cinema, he actually goes to a real life cinema.  Too bad you fired this guy.  You could have had access to a cinema.  Of course, that would require leaving your home.

Whatever happened to that covid scare from a while ago?  Jimmy said that he couldn’t do the podcast for a while because some unidentified relative got covid.  Then the podcast never came back and we never heard about this person who allegedly had covid.  

Are they okay?  Did they die?  What happened?  We want to know.

It was just a pathetic excuse to not do the podcast while Jimmy thought of a way of ending the podcast.  He didn’t want to do it any more.  And instead of just coming out and saying, “Hey, I don’t want to do this any more”, like an adult would do, he came up with this ridiculous lie about covid in order to buy time.  He did the same thing with James & Mike Mondays.  He’s a total coward.

It reminds me of online dating.  There are some women who will give ridiculously disinterested responses to everything you say.  And you’ll start to think, “Is this woman not interested or is she just really, really boring?”  You don’t know.  If she’s not interested, why would she keep replying?  But there are women who will do this.  I don’t know if they think they’re being polite or they’re looking for a pen pal or they just enjoy wasting people’s time or what.

Because some women are just really boring.  I’ve ended up going on dates with women who gives these totally disinterested replies.  So…it’s impossible to tell.  

Back to Jimmy and his fondness for this fucking movie that he’s already talked about dozens of times.

He can’t even fucking pronounce the name.  He’s using a short “o” sound.  That’s not right, is it?  It’s a long “o” sound.  And he seems to struggle on the word generally.

1:00 – “I think part of its appeal to us Western audiences is that it didn’t come from the Hollywood monster factory.  This was made in Germany.”

Wait…what?  Is he suggesting that Germany isn’t part of the Western world?  I think that he is.  God, he’s a fucking moron.

1:45 – Footage of something called The Vampire Book.  This is from Jimmy’s personal library.

You know, I was thinking of getting that Atlantis book that he read from and doing a review on it.  I don’t know if that’s worth all of the effort but maybe.

12:30 – Jimmy teases a review of some Batman movie that apparently came out.  Newt already did a review on this.

So that’s the video.  It was boring.  

How about something new?  Or at least kind of new?  

What about a video talking about Dracula Sucks and Dracula Exotica?  You can find them on the popular porn sites.  How do they hold up?  Or talk about vampires in pornography generally.  There must be other examples.

What about vampires in cartoons?  There’s a bunch of them.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Vampires_in_animated_television

Oh, yeah.  Count Duckula.  That’s the only one on this list that I recognise.  I don’t remember ever watching it, though.  

One that they’re missing is Monster Tails.  Maybe because it wasn’t a stand alone cartoon, as far as I’m aware.  It was shown on Wake, Rattle, and Roll, which was a live-action show.

Then there are vampires in comics.  You have Vampirella, you have…some others.  Let me look it up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Vampires_in_comics

I definitely remember there being a Marvel character who was a vampire but I’m not seeing it.  Mobius or something?  There is a Mobius but that guy isn’t a vampire.  I think that the character was black?  Maybe?  

Oh, Morbius is what I was thinking of.  And possibly Blade for the black vampire.

Neither Morbius nor Blade appear on this list of vampires from comic books.  How?  These are the only two who I knew.  Maybe these are titles of comic books rather than individual characters.

Anyway, wouldn’t any of this be more interesting than fucking Jimmy Rolfe talking about the same fucking movies over and over and over again?  Put the work in, Jimmy.  This is your job.  

4 thoughts on “Nosferatu 100th Anniversary – Cinemassacre

  1. The only explanation for his obsession with these films of that era is he had a relationship with his professor in college who taught film stuff.In fact, he really shouldn't review films at all. He was the lowest point of Rental Reviews easily and everyone knew it, and every film he has talked about has been done to death and he adds nothing by doing it. He should just stick to video games or retire. But his obsession with this era of overrated as fuck, subpar films that people have self-convinced themselves are amazing is too deeply ingrained in his psyche just like his sperging about NES began his long dive into why he made that first AVGN vid upon Mike Matei's urging.Frankly it makes sense why Matei just dipped from that scene and does his own thing now. The two things most fans wanted, James and Mike Mondays, and that podcast (for some reason), are both done for. And I suspect it was primarily all because of Jimbo and his not so subtle anymore psychological issues.

  2. Interesting theory. Buttsex with the Classic Cinema 101 professor. It's possible.But yeah, I don't know. His movie reviews are shallow and it's the same handful of movies over and over again. But I don't think that his knowledge about video games is any deeper. He's run out of games that he played as a child and he stopped playing games at the SNES. I don't know what can possibly save the channel. The channel only worked when it was Mike controlling it. He was able to hide James' autism remarkably well and make it look like James was actually interested and knowledgeable about video games. But Screenwave bungled this so badly and made it clear for everyone to see that this is a man with serious mental health issues. Even the scripted stuff exposes James as a complete simpleton who's just reading a script, poorly.

  3. If you check Mike Matei's channel he uploaded a stream of Toejam and Earl this week and in it he is playing the game the entire time with James.During them playing around 15 min in they start talking about his Nosferatu video and Mike is talking like he's annoyed about how people comment and mock how they like things from generations before them lol.You should really check this out because it's almost like they were responding to things you've said on here (not likely, but still).

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