November updates – Children of Morta, Outer Worlds, Afterparty, Erica, Pathologic 2 – Cannot Be Tamed

(Originally published January 2020)

“I forgot to write something for today” article.

Some things never change.  It’s always the same boring bullshit with Pam.  She was boring as fuck then and she’s boring as fuck now.  

But she shoots oot Linda the Gamer Girl.  I looked it up just now and she’s still making videos.  So…maybe I’ll check it out some time.  There’s something off with this woman, though.  Maybe she’s really depressed or maybe it’s something else.

Linda is proof that being a woman is no guarantee of success on Youtube.  Not that any of the women I cover are successful but Linda is in the absolute bottom tier of Youtube in terms of subscribers and view numbers.  She’s been doing this for years but she’s off-putting because of this depression or whatever it is, the videos are weirdly edited, and she’s not exactly Sophia Loren in the looks department.  So it’s not working out for her.  But she’s sticking with it so good for her.

Always an endurance test. I think that part of the problem is that Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining always sounds really depressed.

It’s an update video, “Letting you know everything I was up to in the month of November.” Oh god. Does anyone need or want to know this? Well…let’s check it out.

“This has been a little bit of an uneventful month”. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. Come on. I have to watch a 16 minute video where NOTHING HAPPENS? Fucking ridiculous.

She went to something called Retro Game Con in Syracuse. I…think she just went as a visitor. She says she went for one day and then left.

0:30 – She talks about playing Dragon’s Lair for the first time. The arcade game. And she couldn’t get past the first…prompt thing. Yeah, it’s true. I had a similar experience in my youth. “Wow! Look at the graphics!” Then you have no fucking idea what’s going on and your game is quickly over. Can’t get past the first thing. Say goodbye to that 50 cents. The game was 50 cents in this particular arcade because of it’s “amazing” graphics (and shit gameplay).

1:00 – “I met John Riggs for the first time and he’s super nice so that was cool.”

God, this guy really gets around. I’m not even looking for John Riggs sightings. Nobody is sending me messages, “Hey, there’s a video where John Riggs is mentioned.” He’s just fucking everywhere. Anywhere you find female retro gaming Youtubers, you’ll find John Riggs.

You don’t see this with ANYONE else. Only John Riggs. It’s crazy.

Let me check his Twitter, just out of interest…yeah. This guy has time on his hands. Numerous banal tweets every day.

“That was basically all that happened in terms of November.”

Oh, thank god. This video is actually only 75 seconds long. What is she going to talk about for the next 15 minutes then?

Oh my god. She’s talking about fucking daylight savings time and how her productivity declines. What the fuck? What does this have to do with anything? The video is over, Pam. You didn’t do anything for November. Shut the fuck up with this boring bullshit.

Then she’s shitting on the guy who came up with daylight savings time. Oh, so you LIKE children getting hit by buses? That was the original reason for this, wasn’t it? Of course, now street lamps are pretty ubiquitous but back in the day, kids were getting hit by buses all the time. I guess.

“It’s fucking stupid and I hate it and it makes me miserable all winter.” More bullshit about her feelings and mental health problems.

You know how most people adjust to the time change within a day? Not Pam. It takes her THE WHOLE FUCKING WINTER! It’s impossible.

So…she lays on the couch or lays in bed. Because the time changed. MONTHS ago.

Pam…maybe it’s not the time changing. Maybe you have serious mental health problems. Maybe you should speak to a doctor about this.

1:45 – “Let’s move on to shout out.”

It always gets a laugh out of me. Just listen to how she pronounces “shout out”.

Oh, fuck off. She’s promoting some god awful gamer grrl that nobody has ever heard of.

Then she shows some shit that she bought. No. I have to fast forward.

“What I’ve been playing” Who gives a fuck? Fast forward again.

Oh. She talks about this for the remainder of the video.

So…let’s briefly check out this Linda the Gamer Girl. This is the person who got the “shoot oot”.

Oh god. Her channel’s introduction has her with weird Pepsi facepaint and she sounds about as suicidal as Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining. Pam really has a type.

And yeah, Linda is…a “tomboy”. Can we still say that? I think we know what I mean by that. Something of a euphamism. Like…you know how Pam is a closeted lesbian? Well…Linda…I don’t have to spell it out for anyone.

Oh…up until about a year ago, Linda had weird facepaint in all of her videos. So…another one of those mentally ill female retro gamers on Youtube.

I can’t even watch any of these videos. I can’t bring myself to click on any of them. It’s…it’s all just so off-putting. And if Pam liked it, you know it’s going to be awful.

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