0:45 – Shout out to Jesus of Nazareth.
Interestingly, there was no mention of Jesus in Dolly Parton’s Christmas special in 1990. Not that I saw, anyway. I skipped around a lot.
I’m sure that Dolly was just as big of a Jesus fanatic as Johnny Cash was. Their public personas, anyway. But by 1990, you could perhaps no longer voice your appreciation for Jesus of Nazareth on television. Not even in a Christmas special.
Anyway, then Johnny Cash and some random nobodies start singing Twelve Days of Christmas. Oh god. This is going to take forever. I’m skipping ahead.
By the way, this seems to be what these Christmas specials are. They sing public domain Christmas songs. I complained about this in the Dolly Parton article. But no. I checked out a few other Christmas specials and this is what they all are like. I never watched any of this shit so I don’t know.
5:30 – The Everly Brothers. Everybody loves the Everly Brothers.
And they’re singing…something. It’s an original song, not some fucking Christmas carol. So this is an improvement. And he’s inviting other people onto this thing, unlike the Dolly Parton special which was all Dolly, all the time.
14:30 – There’s some Christmas Story skit or something. I’m not watching this.
27:30 – That skit went on for quite a while. Now we’re back to the Everly Brothers. They’re singing about Kentucky and really emoting. It’s gay as fuck.
29:15 – Roy Orbison. He’s singing something. Not a Christmas carol and not Pretty Woman.
32:30 – Now Ike Everly, the patriarch of the Everly clan.
35:00 – Johnny is talking to his father about meeting President Nixon. The story is boring. Goes nowhere.
35:45 – Now Johnny’s mother is playing the piano and they sing Silent Night.
38:30 – The show ends by Johnny Cash giving another shoutout to Jesus of Nazareth. And he actually says “Jesus of Nazareth” during these shoutouts.
Anyway, sorry for the shitty articles the past few days. I’m on “holiday” so I needed to shit out a few articles in advance and then schedule them to drop each day. I’m doing this Newt Wallen style. The faster I write, the faster I get paid. But I’m not doing this for money. I’m just doing it for the pure enjoyment of writing.