Gamer Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdYD5StqHxk 

Eugh.  I forgot about this thing.  Well, I don’t have to watch all of it in one sitting.  Watching a 90 minute documentary is a luxury.  But I’ll try to watch the first 30 minutes.  I can do this in three parts.  Or, more likely, I’ll find this to be completely unwatchable and give up after ten minutes.

0:00 – “But first a word from our sponsor!”  

Some Netflix rip off.  Why would I get this?  There’s a pirate streaming service that has just about every show that I ever want to watch on it.  And failing that, there’s always Torrents.  Or just fucking Daily Motion or Youtube or whatever.  There’s loads of bootleg stuff on there.  

But no, I’m going to pay for this wanna Netflix shit.  Let me look the prices up.  I never even heard of this company.  By the way, I intentionally never mention the name of these sponsored companies so as not to give them any promotion.

It’s free?  Maybe?  You have to download shit to even see what content is on there.  That’s a big “no” from me.  I can’t even figure out what this shit is.  They say that they have books and podcasts on there too.  What?  This is nonsense.  It’s never going to take off.  Not with all of this confusing bullshit, anyway.

Oh…what?  It’s not even a streaming thing according to Bobdunga.  It’s a third party application that takes all of your existing streaming accounts (of which I have none) and collates them into one app.  I guess.  Something.  I have no fucking idea.  I can’t imagine that these streaming companies are happy with this.  They’re probably going to block access to these clowns.

1:00 – “I’ve never really enjoyed that nagging feeling you get when trying to recall a lost memory.”

This is how she starts the video.  I had to listen to this sentence three times to try to figure out what she’s saying.  

Here’s the problem.  She starts with “I” but then moves to “you”.  This should be “I’ve never really enjoyed that nagging feeling that I get when trying to recall a lost memory”.  It’s just the fact that she said “you” that threw everything off.  You can’t mix first person with third person in the same sentence.  This is the first fucking sentence in the “documentary” and I’m already confused.  She speaks English.  What is this?

This is so fucking embarrassing.  She’s talking about SAILOR MOON like it’s some deep, philosophical pursuit of her past.  Fuck right off, Bobdunga.

Oh my god.  I have another 28 minutes of this shit according to my schedule.

2:45 – Bobdunga is talking on and on and on about a childhood doll that she had and can’t remember what it was.  Please kill me.

NOBODY FUCKING CARES!  SHE WON’T STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS!

5:00 – Oh my god.  Now she’s recreating the time, a few months ago, when she texted her sister about this doll.  There’s a dramatic recreation of this event.  NOBODY FUCKING CARES!

Who the fuck…come on, Bobdunga.  Just go back to making shitty videos about video games where you dress in your little outfits and dance for the horntards.  Those were actually LESS humiliating than this video.

I have to take a break.  Let’s try a Wordle.  You guys like Wordle?  It sucks ass but anything to get away from Bobdunga.

I always start with “TEAMS”.  Ooh, this worked out well.  The first letter is “T” and there’s also an “E” somewhere.

I’ll try “TOKEN” next.  No help there, but the “E” isn’t in that position either.

I’ll go with “TRIPE” next.  Ooh.  So there’s an “R” and an “I” and the third letter is “E”.  This should be easy now.  I’m only missing one letter.

I’ll say “TIERS” even though I know there isn’t an “S”.  I’m having trouble.  Okay.  So now I know where all the letters go.  It’s “T __ EIR”  Ooh.  “THEIR”.

I WAS RIGHT!  

Back to Saint Dungalus.  

She’s Googling this doll now…oh my god.  Come on.  

6:30 – She finally reveals what the doll was.  It was from the Lil Secrets line from Matel.  THIS is what’s been haunting Bobdunga for years?  Who the fuck cares?  

This is just a cry for help.  She’s mentally ill.

7:30 – I fucking hate these dramatic recreations of non-events that she does.  Here she’s recreating the time when she was pondering something.  COME ON.  THIS IS BAD, BOBDUNGA.  Stop doing these videos.

8:15 – “If you’d like to find out, grab your wands and get ready for the bumpy ride of the Western World of Sailor Moon.”

It doesn’t even make sense, Bobdunga.  And the horntards are grabbing their wands alright.  “Oh yeah!  I love these dramatic recreations of Bobdunga in bed.”

Now there’s…oh fuck.  I can’t do this.  We’re nearly 10 minutes in and it hasn’t even started yet.  That doll story was totally unrelated to what this is about.  Now there’s some weird music.  What is this?

Okay.  I’m going to shoot for 15 minutes.  I can do this.  Only six minutes to go.  I mean, come on.  Bobdunga spent like nine months on this.  I can give her 15 minutes of my time.

It’s just so much padding.  This song is still going.  This is like three minutes now.  A three minute musical intro.  

Okay.  Now we’re at the 10 minute mark.  And it’s chapter 1.  All of that other bullshit was marked as “prologue” and “intro”.  

11:00 – Now she’s giving the history of Sailor Moon.  It started in Japan.  I knew that much.  That’s all that I know about Sailor Moon and I don’t need to know any more.  I don’t fucking care about Sailor Moon.  

This reminds me.  She’s talking about how Sailor Moon is a school girl and whatnot.  It’s true.  This was (and is) a fucking creepy cartoon.  I knew this at the time.  Fucking everybody did.  She’s in a Japanese school uniform.  This is the weird shit that goes on in Japan.  People are jerking off to this stuff.  That was the intention.  

She’s showing a bunch of upskirt shots.  Yeah.  This is what it was about.  How this became some kind of cartoon loved by children just shows how creepy and insidious this all was.  

It’s like with Britney Spears.  There was always a creepy undertone about this.  She would dress as a school girl.  And yet somehow, the children who watched that grew up to view this as some kind of female empowerment.  No.  It was jerk off material for weirdos.

11:45 – Vintage footage of the creepy Japanese weirdos who consumed this media.  All guys.  Lonely, weird guys who can’t get girlfriends.  Jerking off to Sailor Moon.  

12:15 – “Though originally meant to be catered squarely at teenage girls, Sailor Moon has had a pretty widespread impact on many audiences.”

Let’s ignore yet another example of terrible English from Bobdunga.  I reject the thesis that this was aimed at teenage girls.  It was aimed at lonely Japanese boys and men between the ages of about 15 and 30.  

“The series managed to attract a large male audience with it’s more shonen tone.”

She defines “shonen” on screen as “action-filled plots.”

Is Bobdunga on another planet?  They’re jerking off, Bobdunga.  They’re jerking off to these anime schoolgirls.  This is a common theme in anime and manga and whatever other nerd shit people in Japan are into.

It’s just unbelievable.  This is unwatchable.  Her thesis has no basis in reality.  It’s a show about magical school girls in tiny, sexualised outfits.  Is she even going to address this?  She says that men are watching because of the ACTION FILLED PLOTS.  No.  There is no fucking way.

She’s showing random shots from the cartoon and most of them are sexual.  Does she not see this?

14:00 – There’s a clip of a bunch of gay men in Sailor Moon outfits trying to be “sexy”.  Do you get why this is happening, Bobdunga?  Do you not understand any of this?  

“This show saved people’s lives” and there’s a picture of Sailor’s Moon’s tits.

14:30 – Now she’s talking about “gender expression”.  Well, maybe she is going to talk about some of the weird shit that Sailor Moon is about.   

Well, she’s talking about “LGBT plus”.  So…I mean….it’s skirting around the issue and she’s presenting this as a positive thing but…you know.  I’m feeling ill.  She’s talking about how “trans” and gay people found acceptance in this cartoon about a magical school girl in a little outfit.  

I made it to 15 minutes.  That was my goal.  Bobdunga, go talk to your psychiatrist about this shit.