https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqM-V9nhNEE
Alright, BORES. Let’s see what zero effort trash you shat out this time.
0:00 – What the hell. It starts with Chris BORES doing a Clark Kent changing into Superman thing. But look at that Superman t-shirt. It’s filthy. It’s like he just got in from playing in the mud. What is this? Why did he use a shirt that’s visibly filthy?
And does Clark Kent typically wear a shirt and tie or does he have a suit jacket on too? Let me check.
The pictures I’m seeing mostly have Clark Kent in a suit. Chris BORES obviously just doesn’t own a suit and he didn’t want to buy or borrow one for this stupid video.
Then there’s terrible greenscreen footage of Chris BORES flying.
“Mild mannered GAY-mer by day.”
0:30 – So after that horrible greenscreen intro filled with bad acting, Chris BORES is here in his encrusted Superman t-shirt and he has an unbuttoned flannel shirt over it. Why does he dress like this? This is how I dressed in high school. It was the 1990s. This was fashionable then. Grunge. I was a slacker.
But this is 2022. And Chris BORES is in his mid 40s. Maybe change it up a little.
Wait. Maybe this explains why this Superman shirt is so dirty. This is vintage filth. This is a shirt that Chris owned back in the 1990s. He hasn’t bought a single new article of clothing in 25 years.
2:15 – So after he gives a quick summary of the death and return of Superman in the comics, he starts playing this game.
2:45 – Oh god. Then there’s a poorly-animated sidekick, Booster Gold. Whoever that is. Some comic book character. It’s voice by Chris BORES, of course.
Chris BORES keeps complaining that the game is only one player. That’s his only complaint so far. But who was he going to play against? His fucking imaginary characters, who are all voiced by him?
3:15 – Chris BORES doing the always hilarious thing where he holds the controller up in front of his face and mashes buttons. He’s pretending to play the game and we’re supposed to be retarded enough to believe this.
4:15 – After the second level, you play as one of the new prospective Supermen. Chris BORES laments that you can’t choose from the four Supermen who were in the comics. He also AGAIN complains that you can’t add a second player. He thinks that it would have been cool to be able to add a second player in stage three. How much sense would that make? The first two stages are one-player only and then suddenly on the third stage, you can have a second player? No game ever invented does this.
5:00 – Steel, who’s a black character, got one level. I think that the Cyborg and Eradicator Supermen also only got one level each. But Chris BORES says that if a black character only got one level, “In today’s upside down world, the internet would have been going apeshit right about now.”
The only person complaining about this is Chris BORES. I don’t think that anybody would find this offensive today.
5:45 – He again complains about the game not having a two-player mode. Who the fuck was he going to play against anyway? Did Chris BORES have friends? Get over it. There’s no two-player. We know. You’ve made this clear. Move on.
6:30 – Then the video ends with a dumb skit where he destroys a game. It’s so formulaic and obviously stolen from The Angry Video Game Nerd.
So I’ll give it my usual “dislike” and let’s check out the comments.
– “Was he drunk while making this? Why is he slurring his words?”
Yeah, it’s true. I noticed this too.
– “You keep calling the SNES the NES. You also talk you’ve never played a beat’em up outside of TMNT since some of your complaints are about pretty common traits of the genre.”
That’s true as well. He complained about repetitive enemies, for example.
I’ll say this about the video. For once, Chris BORES managed to abstain from putting any disgusting homosexual references in it.