This is my second attempt at this video. I watched part of it over a week ago and…it’s brutal. Look at the thumbnail for an example. “I’m an ‘Artist’..?” Strap in for some pretense.
But it’s noteworthy because Bobdunga or whatever the fuck she’s calling herself now hasn’t uploaded a non-“here’s an update on my voice acting ambitions” video in nearly a year. She used to make videos about video games, right? When was the last time she did that? Five years ago. Then she got into her bizarre anime “documentary” phase where she would do “documentaries” about “lost” anime in an X-Files fashion where everybody was a shadowy government figure trying to stop Bobdunga from getting at the truth about…Gundham or whatever. And then it would turn out that the item was in the Library of Congress.
She hasn’t been doing that lately, though. She’s been focusing on her voice acting ambitions. So let’s…try to get through this.
By the way, views have…well, I was about to say “tanked” but looking more carefully, they were never good to begin with. 2,300 views on this video after a month.
0:15 – “As you notice, the lights are a little bit weird, I’m moving.”
Where to? And where from? And no, I didn’t notice the fucking lights. Why would that even indicate that you’re moving?
I thought that she already moved. I think that she moved, briefly, to live with some guy but that didn’t last long. Is she still in her mother’s house? I don’t know.
0:45 – “I was working through the video and honestly, I feel like I got to a point where I just didn’t feel like myself. I started going to therapy, not because I wasn’t feeling like myself. That actually came after or during. I started going back to therapy.”
Eugh. And on the screen, she wrote something about how she worded this badly. But what the fuck is this? She’s talking about how her anime “documentaries” broke her brain. Or something. I don’t know.
So she’s going to therapy to work on the “blocks” that she’s facing. Well, good for her. This is a woman who definitely needs therapy. A whole team of psychiatrists. So I’m not here to mock. You wouldn’t mock a sick person for going to the doctor. This is a mentally ill woman who needs help. I’m glad to see that she’s getting it.
2:30 – So she says that was focusing on “acting gigs” instead. And there’s footage of some commercial for CIBC. Whatever that is. Oh, a credit card in Canada. It has the MasterCard logo so this must be what they call MasterCard in Canada. Must have been some copyright problem.
Oh, here’s the full commercial.
Good for her. And CIBC is a bank. MasterCard is the company who the bank is…working with for this product. I don’t know how it works but sometimes your bank will give you like a Visa debit card and sometimes they’ll give you a MasterCard debit card. It’s just whoever the bank has a deal with at the time.
3:00 – So she’s been reading a book called The Artist’s Way. Eugh. Insufferable, Bobdunga. Nobody and I mean NOBODY wants to hear about your “craft.” This goes for all “creative” people. Keep it to yourself. Or at least within your circle of “creative” people. Don’t expect the general public to give the slightest of fucks about it.
And she puts a pretentious warning on the screen that’s so insufferable I can’t even bring myself to repeat it.
She’s talking about her “blocks” again…
4:00 – She says that her “documentaries” take three months and she doesn’t have a team to do it or the money so…she doesn’t want to do it. Fine. Don’t do it. It does seem like way too much effort for not payout.
5:00 – The next anime “documentary” will probably be her last because she has a big new idea that she wants to pursue instead but she won’t say what it is. Oh. It has to do with film analysis. That’s something that’s never been done before. Movie reviews, you say. Sounds interesting.
Speaking of which, I was looking at Horseface’s Twitter recently. She has got to be the most obnoxious, self-absorbed person I’ve ever seen. And it’s absolutely bizarre how determined she is to present herself as a hot chick and…I don’t think I’ve seen perception and reality this far apart in my life.
But she was on some Tony from Hack the Movies livestream recently. This one:
I don’t think a more detestable group of people has ever been assembled. Go to 1:51:00, for example, where they have the entire “panel” on screen. JoeyC is the guy in the top middle of the screen. He often appears on the show in drag. I don’t know who the guy next to him is but he’s probably a piece of shit given the company he keeps. Same deal with the guy in the lower left. I’ve seen him before and he seems okay but…he can’t be. It’s impossible. Not for anybody associating with these people.
Then you have Mint Salad and her pimp in the middle bottom. In case anybody thinks I’m being hyperbolic, no. That’s her pimp. Mint Salad has sex for money. Including with Tony from Hack the Movies. I don’t want to just throw this out there because I don’t remember the details but I vaguely remember something about Mint Salad doing a video shortly after getting peed on and Tony was involved. It was bad enough for me to remove Tony from the banner and never talk about him again.
Finally, we have Horseface in the bottom right and…what can I say about Horseface that I haven’t said a hundred times already? Newt is probably the worst person I’ve ever known. Crystal “Horseface” Quin is number two.
It’s mind-boggling how people this horrible are having ANYBODY watch their videos. That whole Screenwave crew…it’s as though being a scumbag is required to work there. How is even possible that this many total pieces of shit live in the same area? And they all congregate to the same employer? Is there something about video editing that attracts scumbags? I don’t get it.
That chubby Asian woman was an exception, though. She was great. Does she still work there? Presumably not. She was a bad fit for the company. Well-spoken, erudite, and an Asian chubby-chaser’s feast for the eyes.
Anyway, back to Bobdunga.
5:15 – “I want to be a filmmaker and screenwriter.”
Oh sure. There’s an occupation that’s notoriously easy to get into. And you’re so talented, Bobdunga. That script you wrote for…some Sailor Moon “documentary” brought a tear to my eye.
I was reading an AMA on a guy who wrote for Mr Belvedere recently. As here:
You can see from his responses that his writing and his wit are significantly above the average person’s.
He went to Wesleyan University, which is a respectably ranked, private university, and then he went to UCLA Film School, which might be the only semi-legitimate film school on earth.
I don’t know Bobdunga’s educational attainment but I’m assuming that it’s quite a ways off from this.
Also, Jay Abamowitz is Jewish which no doubt played a large role in him securing these jobs.
Nevertheless, even with all of these advantages: the good education, the ability, the Jewishness, the only jobs he was able to get was for Mr Belvedere and the like. And his career in television was fairly short.
He was competing with people who went to Harvard. People with better connections than even he has. People who were more talented. People who were more Jewish. These are the people who are writing all of this shit. Look at any major show on television and they’re all written by Harvard graduates.
But you still get cretins like Bobduna or Newt Wallen, Newt who can’t even fucking spell and all of his ideas are the same and it’s a shit idea, who think, “Oh, I can do this too. What do these Harvard eggheads have that I don’t?”
Talent. Connections. Money. Education. Jewishness. It’s preposterous that Bobdunga, a Canadian woman with a mountain of mental health problems, with a modest education at best, who makes shitty Youtube videos, thinks that she can overcome this.
If Bobdunga or Newt had genuine talent, I’d say go for it. I’m sure that there’s SOMETHING that you can do if you have talent. Sure, the Hollywood blockbusters are sewn up by the Chosen People but I’m sure there’s some low-level crap that you can do. But these people don’t have a shred of talent. They shouldn’t even be writing their own shitty Youtube videos.
5:30 – “Before I was a Youtuber, I was a visual artist.”
Oh, I definitely didn’t get this far in the video my first time around. She shows drawings and paintings that she made.
“I was self-taught.”
Yeah. It shows. I’m not saying that these are bad but this is the work of an amateur. It’s a hobby. A professional would get the body proportions right. They’d know how to draw hands. Shit like this.
8:00 – Then she just launches into a long ad. What the fuck? She’s put an ad in a “Here’s what I’m doing nowadays” video? It’s for furniture, by the way.
10:00 – She’s talking about her mental health again and one of the things that apparently is helping is…improv classes. Eugh.
Think of how awful an improv would be at the best of times. Full of fucking pretentious douchebags emoting. Then add crazy Bobdunga to the mix.
Actually, would she be any worse than the rest of those clowns? She seems to think that she fit in. And she probably did.
12:30 – “I finished my first screenplay. It was like 114 pages.”
I don’t think that the page count matters so much, as long as it’s over, whatever, 90 for a film. It’s the content that’s important. Anybody can write 114 pages. Newt churns that shit out in a day. And it’s truly shit.
How many words am I at? 1693. What’s the minimum length for a short story? 1,000.
So I just wrote a short story. Is it good? No. Let’s review my own article. I’m always tearing down these shitty “Youtubers”, let’s see how I like it when I review my own shitty work.
Well, first, the subject is terrible. Bobdunga? Really? Nobody cares about Bobdunga. You better really have something interesting to say about Bobdunga if you’re going to pull this one off. And I don’t think you’ve done that.
I talk about her viewcount but don’t discuss whether 2,300 is good or bad for Bobdunga. Way to research, asshole.
Talking about Bobdunga’s mental health problems and I trot out the “team of psychiatrists” half-joke. How many times have I used that one?
Then I move on to this commercial, which I think was the most interesting thing that Bobdunga talked about in the video and that should have been a springboard for me to say something interesting. But…what could I really have said? Even if I researched the bank, that wouldn’t yield anything interesting, surely. I could have looked up how voice actors get paid for a commercial, I guess, but that would have been highly speculative.
Then a completely irrelevant, long tangent on Horseface and Screenwave that goes nowhere.
I talk about that Reddit AMA but it comes off more anti-semitic than I would have liked and with no payoff. The Jewish references weren’t funny. And what’s my overall lesson in any of that? That you need to go to Harvard and be Jewish to write in Hollywood? It’s largely true but I don’t think that Bobdunga or Newt are looking to get a job on the Simpsons or the next Marvel movie. I assume that they’re looking at really, really, REALLY indie shit. Certainly, that’s what Newt is doing. And he’s shit at it. Even at that level.
Then I talk about her art. What do I know about art? Yeah, the body proportions and the hands didn’t look right and some art classes might help but she’s just doing this for some extra money.
And then I started the review of my own article which competely destroyed the already low-readability of the article.
13:30 – She’s working on a comic book based on her first screenplay. Come on. Let’s get it together. Big finish. We can both pull this off, Bobdunga. Just give me something to work with.
She’s making a comic based on her screenplay. Just like Newt did. So…maybe Newt can help publish it. Tell her what branch of Kinko’s he uses.
What? Kinko’s doesn’t exist any more? Not since 2008, apparently.
“Raven, you already know how to draw.”
I was just coming to that point. It’s true. Bobdunga making a comic makes much more sense than Newt doing it. Because she can draw it herself. Newt is outsourcing the work to some guy in Brazil or something, who I think at some point was holding the work hostage over some dispute.
“I’m hoping to have it out in the next few months.”
That seems ambitious, certainly by Newt’s standards. Newt’s been promising this comic WHICH IS APPARENTLY FINISHED for YEARS. I’m thinking at least five years.
But can you really get a comic done and published in a few months? Even professionals with full teams and money and know-how get delayed by months.
And what does Bobdunga know about publishing a comic? Is it just going to be some print-on-demand Amazon thing? Something like this I think you would want to take some care with. Make sure you get the right quality paper and a reputable printing company who knows what they’re doing. And that’s not going to be cheap. They’re going to require a certain minimum order. You’re going to end up with boxes of comics cluttering up your home that might never get sold. Then what’s that doing for your mental health?
14:00 – “It’s festive and spooky.”
What? This better not be another Christmas comic. Newt already has Florida Man Saves Christmas locked up.
And who the fuck WANTS a Christmas comic? You’re limiting the appeal of your comic to, at best, one month out of the year.
So that’s the video. Comments are all trash.
A spooky comic. Is this what people want? I can’t even think of any spooky comics that I’ve read. The House of Mystery, that old DC comic? Was that horror-themed? Or at least suspense? Yeah.
I enjoyed The Nam but I don’t remember anything about it. I just had a bunch of them. Some mail-based company was selling just loads of them in like a grab bag for cheap. So I got like 50 of them for probably $50. There were duplicates but no more than a duplicate of three and I got a pretty good run of the comic.
Christmas comics…I think I had one of the Alf Christmas comics. Remember Alf? He’s back. In comic form. Actually, I’m pretty sure that the comic ran concurrently to the tv show.
It surely wasn’t about Alf in the Tanner home, though, was it? How boring would that have been? Maybe it’s a prequel about his life on Melmac, like the cartoon was. Or maybe he’s just fighting ninjas or something for some reason.
I’m looking at the covers and a lot of them do seem to feature the Tanners, albeit with wacky hijinks the likes of which one wouldn’t find on the tv show (e.g. Alf gets an elephant).
Newt should rip Alf off for his comic. You think Paul Fusco is going to sue him? Cerebus never got sued, after all.
Wow. Cerebus ended in 2004 and the last incarnation of the comic book was full of the writer’s bizarre hybrid religious beliefs. I can’t imagine why that didn’t resonate with audiences.
Holy shit her nose is HUGE
Alf is a guy.