Gamer Girls

Before we get to the bizarre “gimmick” of the video, let’s take a look at the description.

“I never plagerised anything about this one. so its not gonna be as interesting to some of you. except I shot the review in my shower”

Seriously, Newt? How many times have you seen the word “plagiarised” since you were fired? And not even. It’s “plagiarized” in the US. A “Z” instead of an “S”. So why did the Ideas Man use an “S”?

It’s unbelievable. If there’s one word this guy should know by now it’s “plagiarized.”

So anyway, Newt is doing this review in the shower. Why? What does he expect us to do? Who’s the audience for this? Even if you’re gay, even if you find Newt attractive, why would THIS be exciting?

He has these bars in the shower. Both walls. What are these for? Grab bars for like the elderly? You wouldn’t hang a towel on them because it would get wet. Is this a shower room or a full bath that he’s in? So many questions that I don’t give a fuck about.

Newt’s hair isn’t even wet. This isn’t real. The people want to see a real shower. I…guess? Frankly, I don’t think that anybody wants this. But if there were a person out there who wants to see Newt doing a movie review in the shower, surely that person would want to see something GENUINE. Not a fucking television sitcom shower.

2:45 – “This water’s super hot, by the way.”

Well, I’m glad that your boiler is working, Newt, but…I mean…I don’t get this. Is Newt getting scalded supposed to be exciting for the viewer?

He’s just talking about the movie and some serial killer “movies” that he saw and shit like this. It’s just droning noise. The running water doesn’t help the droning at all.

5:45 – He compares the movie to Conquest of the Planet of the Apes and then I guess the mere mention of a planet ruled by apes got his dick hard and knocked the camera over.

So he resets and now he’s brushing his teeth, having finished his shower. But he’s still naked, I guess. That’s the suggestion, anyway. Who doesn’t brush their teeth naked, having just finished showering?

These blinds look kind of fucked up. Like some of the slats are broken at the end. Is this even covering the window all the way?

And what is he holding onto? Some kind of door. Oh, the glass door for the shower, I think.

7:45 – He shows his toothbrush. Newt…get a new fucking toothbrush. The bristles on that one are gone. I mean, Jesus Christ. You can get a new toothbrush for two bucks.

Let me look this up. How much are toothbrushes going for these days in the US?

You can get a pack of ten for five bucks on Amazon but it’s no-name shit. I wouldn’t trust it.

Colgate, pack for four, for $12.50. That seems reasonable. It works out to about $3 per toothbrush. What’s the problem?

I got an electric toothbrush over ten years ago and it changed my life. I went all out. It was like $150. The battery lasted, whatever, seven years and then you can’t replace it, which is bullshit. So I got another one, spent slightly less, maybe $125, and it’s just as good. You don’t need something with a bunch of speeds and shit because you’re not going to use them. Just get something good from a respectable brand like Oral-B or the like, but it doesn’t have to the top of the line.

So that’s the video. He preferred the first movie to this one. Great stuff, Newt. Needed more 9/11 references.

I’m looking for that scene where Tony from Who’s the Boss is in the shower but I can’t find it. Why not? It was even in the fucking intro, wasn’t it?

There was a UK version of Who’s the Boss called The Upper Hand. I believe that Who’s the Boss was shown in the UK and it was fairly popular so they then created this British version. I further believe that perhaps Mona made a cameo appearance in The Upper Hand.

I’ve never seen it. It’s before my time. My time in the UK, at least. It ran from 1990 to 1996, apparently.

It appears to be about a working class Londoner moving to…I don’t know…Brighton or somewhere. Brighton is nicer area than some parts of London. I guess. But this guy’s accent is about as working class as Mr Bean’s. I guess in the 1990s, working class accents still weren’t heard on British television.

And was Tony Danza particularly working class? I guess that he sounded like he was from New York. You don’t really have accents based on class in the US.

Anyway, back to The Upper Hand. Really glass-cut accents on the Angela and Jonathan characters. Who the fuck can watch this?

So Who’s the Boss? That age old question. Some sitcom did a thing on this. Community? Something.

But clearly, it’s Angela. How could it be Tony? Just because he’s a man? That seems to be the implication. No, Tony is cleaning Angela’s house. Angela isn’t cleaning Tony’s house. Why is this even up for discussion? Why did they name the entire show based on this preposterous premise?