VACATION POLTERGEISTS – At It Again – Chris Bores

I think that I found a new favourite channel. I haven’t laughed this hard in I don’t know how long.

So he recorded this with his phone and originally published the video on Twitter. It has these annoying words that light up as he speaks. Like the transcript.

0:00 – He talks about “battling all of the dark crazies on the other side.”

He’s with his family on vacation for Memorial Day. He’s staying in a cabin. He has a golf cart. He’s not golfing, I think he’s just at some place where you can go to…I don’t know. He doesn’t explain. But there are other places to go to at this venue and you’re expected to tool around in a golf cart to do that. That’s humiliating. I would never go to such a place.

So he was coming back from the pool with his family, while riding on this golf cart. He only used it for ten minutes. Then it died in the middle of the road.

0:30 – “I looked at my wife and I was like, ‘Here we go again.’ We have the worst luck with electronics because these things just attack the electronics.”

The golf cart broke down so Chris’ immediate reaction is, “It must be ghosts.”

I would have liked to hear about his wife’ reaction to this. Is she going along with this ghost nonsense?

How seriously is Chris taking this? He knows that it’s bullshit, surely. How can he not? He’s developing these cheap contraptions and going on local news programs at Halloween. This is a scam. He can’t believe this.

But I don’t know. Maybe he does. Because he says a lot of absolutely batshit crazy stuff that I’m pretty sure that he believes in. Not limited to the undead. He’s mentally ill.

The comments in these videos are 100% making fun of Chris. There’s not one person who believes any of this shit. So if it’s a scam, it can’t possibly be a successful one. Maybe, at least on some level, he believes this nonsense about ghosts haunting his vacation golf cart.

Why would a ghost attack a golf cart? If the ghost wanted to kill Chris, wouldn’t they attack his car when he’s going 80 miles an hour?

Are ghosts even interested in electronics? How long have these ghosts been dead? Do they even know what this shit is? You think some Colonial-era ghost knows how to disable a golf cart? They’ve never seen such a thing when they were alive. Were they studying this shit in the afterlife? Maybe took an automotive course in the afterlife?

Even if it was the ghost of somebody who died fairly recently, which you don’t hear about often. Ghosts tend to be from the old days. But even if it was somebody who died recently, they’d still have to know about the inner workings of a golf cart. I’d have no fucking idea how to disable a golf cart. I’d be the worst poltergeist ever, at least as far as electronics go.

And why Memorial Day? Why target Chris on Memorial Day? Is the day relevant? Maybe it’s the ghost of a dead soldier who’s upset that Chris is tooling around in a golf cart on Memorial Day instead of honoring the war dead. The ghost is angry that the holiday has been turned into an excuse to have barbeques.

0:45 – So anyway, Chris goes to the office and they get the golf cart started again no problem. Chris asks the guy if golf carts breaking down is a normal thing. The guy says no. The guy obviously thinks that Chris is just an idiot who can’t operate the golf cart. Little does this guy know that it’s much worse than that. Chris is a lunatic who believes that GHOSTS are haunting the golf cart.

But Chris takes the guy’s comment of “this is kind of a werid case” as further proof that it was ghosts. As opposed to his own ineptitude.

1:15 – “Being a ghost behaviorist just paints a target on you.”

From the mental health community, perhaps.

Then he talks about how he couldn’t record that podcast recently because ghosts targetted his phone.

So Chris went to the Verizon store and said, “Fix my phone. There’s a ghost in there.”

I mean, come on. If he genuinely thought it was a ghost, why would he bring it to the Verizon store? He’d bring it to a priest. Or he’d perform his own exoricism. He’s the Ghost Doctor, after all.

Anyway, the phone guy said that it’s an easy fix, something to do with the sim card reader, but Chris didn’t want to pay the money. So he brought the phone home and it started working again. And he never had the error again.

What’s the point of any of these stories? Something breaks and then for no apparent reason it begins working again.

I could see if the golf cart broke, for example, and then he performed an exorcism and then it worked again. You might say, “Well, it was clearly ghosts and my exorcism did the trick.” But he did NOTHING.

2:15 – “This is a constant thing with me.”

You’ve mentioned two examples. Give some more examples of ghosts haunting your electronics.

2:30 – “For all of you who think being a ghost behaviourist is glamorous, you know you have to put up with all of this other crap.”

First of all, NOBODY thinks that being a “ghost behaviorist” is glamorous. We all think that it’s a sign of severe mental illness.

But secondly, what crap? We’ve all had shitty electronics that didn’t work properly. You get a fucking refund. You don’t chalk it up to ghosts.

2:45 – Chris says that ghosts “pester” him in his sleep and in his dreams…your ELECTRONICS.

I just imagine ghosts as being more analogue. But I guess ghosts are just keeping up with the times. Gone are the days of rattling chains and throwing books and appearing in mirrors. Now they’re fucking with your sim card reader.

3:00 – “You can’t make this stuff up.”

Oh sure. A malfunctioning golf cart and phone. I could never dream up such a crazy scenario.

That’s the video. I just can’t figure out how much of this he’s putting on. Because it would be so easy to just say all of this crazy shit because you’re trying to get views. Everybody is laughing at him, there’s no question, but he can still do this just to get the views, however small the views are. People pointing and laughing at the lunatic are still viewers.

“I’m breaking character in this video and I want to talk about a few things that have gone viral.”

So it is just an act.

Then Chris calls out somebody called Dr Disrespect. Professional jealousy. Two doctors.

But, oddly, Chris is talking about this guy doing something with “minors”. Chris himself has made some sketchy posts just recently when he went to Disney World and was taking creep shots of those teenagers and talking about how he wished he would have talked to them more.

Then Chris talks about some mentally ill bullshit about the top gaming Youtubers having sex with “minors” on an island. That’s literally his argument.

Chris, you’ll be the first one “exposed” for your “inner daemons”.

11 thoughts on “VACATION POLTERGEISTS – At It Again – Chris Bores

  1. Those kinds of videos are pure shit. Not Griff Tannen the Ghostbuster per se, but all of those vertical videos with text transcripts on them. They are the worst kind of brain rot ever. I refuse to watch it. It’s fucking annoying! You read faster than it is on screen and so you’re waiting for it to move and not watching anything. Not that any of the videos are worth a shit. They’re all 45 seconds anyway. There’s literally no point to any of it. This truly is the end of civilization if the generation of kids coming up right now are addicted to this fuck and consider it high entertainment.
    .
    I know nothing about this other YouTuber fucking “minors” either. All I know is every girl in my high school even in 9th and 10th grade but totally older than that, they were ALL fucking guys 10+ years older than them. The prom was a real fucked up scene, not that I went, but they had that march beforehand so I went. Some of these guys were older than the teachers! Fuck! Well of course I didn’t go. How can a 17 year old guy get a 17 year old girl? You can’t! Unless she has no clue she can fuck any guy with a little bit of money or woke up and realized she was being used, the odds were zero. I wonder why all those guys weren’t shamed and “cancelled?” Life before internet…

    1. It’s a TikTok thing. It’s trash but Chris is trying to get in touch with the young people.

      I don’t know what kind of school you went to but I don’t recall that phenomenon. Maybe it was happening and I just didn’t know about it.

  2. There is this loser in Mexico that calls himself a “ghost buster”, as in that old movie. He is pretty famous basically because people like to make stupid people famous. So in his videos he explains that ghosts are mostly energy and as such, devices that rely on energy are susceptible to malfunctions when ghosts are around.
    It’s absolutely bullshit but he’s got an audience. If you want to waste minutes of your life you can Google it up: Carlos Trejo.

    1. Carlos Trejo writes some fine comedy tbf. In one of his books a girl narrates how a ghost raped her, and I know we’re talking about rape here but I thought it was hilarious.

    1. Who’s more insane? Newt or Chris? (Assuming Chris actually believes this, which I question….)

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