Gamer Girls

Interesting question, Lydia. Do I want a system from 40 years ago that plays only Game Boy games and requires the actual cartridges (which cost money) or a brand new system that plays everything, for every system, for free? Umm…I think that I’m going to go with the latter.

0:00 – Oh baby. Get those milkers out, baby. I just like having an excuse to say “milkers”. I think that’s the main appeal of Lydia’s videos for me.

Why is she talking about *nostalgia* with the Game Boy? She wasn’t even born during the thing’s lifespan, surely.

Oh, and here’s another reason not to get a Game Boy: green screen. Is that what you want? Or do you want the full colour of the Analogue Pocket? Also, more buttons on the Analogue Pocket. Not that you need more buttons on the Game Boy because the fucking thing only plays Game Boy games. Assuming you can get this ancient hardware even working.

She says that she doesn’t have an original Game Boy because they’re really expensive. Really? Let me look this up.

Fifty pounds on Ebay all day long. Lydia, you send me a video of you doing jumping jacks (or “star jumps”, if you prefer), topless, and I’ll send you a Game Boy. I think that I can swing the £50.

1:15 – No backlight. Oh yeah. That’s another thing. Reason number ten billion not to get a Game Boy over an Analogue Pocket.

5:00 – “I don’t think there are many pros to having the Game Boy consoles.”

Well, no shit. Nor do I. So what was the point of this video?

7:00 – “I hope I didn’t come across as too negative because, like I said, I still think it’s a really great console.”

This was YOUR stupid idea. You don’t have to make me feel better. I never claimed that buying a Game Boy is better than buying an Analogue Pocket. NOBODY is saying that.

She should make this a whole series. The possibilities are endless.

“Which should you buy: an Atari 2600 or a Playstation 5?” And then she just says, “Well, duh. Obviously, the Playstation 5. What’s wrong with you? Why would you even think of purchasing the Atari 2600? It’s old.”

“Which should you buy: a 1993 Ford Fiesta or a 2024 BMW 1 Series?” “What are you fucking retarded? If you have the money, you go with the BMW. This isn’t a choice. The 1994 Ford Fiesta offers no advantages over the 2024 BMW 1 Series.”

Oh, and here’s another advantage of that Analogue Pocket has over the Game Boy, according to Lydia: IT’S CHEAPER.

So it’s cheaper, the games are all free, it’s in colour, more buttons, it’s new, it doesn’t require batteries, and you can play every game ever made for every console.

7:30 – “I can’t see why you wouldn’t want to be playing the games on this.” Yeah. No shit. Who was the retard saying that Game Boy is better? The strawman is really getting a pounding today.

8:00 – Oh, it actually is more expensive than the Game Boy. Way more. She says £350 and that’s for a USED one. Can this be right?

I’m seeing it for £220, new, on what I assume is the official website. Why did she say that it’s sold out?

11:45 – Now she’s doing a side by side comparison of how the games look. Can we just assume that they look better on the Analogue Pocket? For one thing, I think that it has a backlit screen.

17:30 – “That’s the video. Please let me know down in the comments which you prefer.”

WHO’S THE MORON WHO’S GOING TO SAY ‘GAME BOY’? The video made no sense. I’m sorry, Lydia. I’ll still give you some loving but this video was complete nonsense.

I think that it could have been easily fixed if you just framed it differently. Instead of making it a question, “Which one is better?” just state the obvious “Here’s why you should buy an Analogue Pocket instead of a Game Boy.”

Apparently, this Analogue Pocket doesn’t use emulation. It’s replicating the actual hardware. And I think that you have to buy adapters if you want to play games from other consoles.

That’s a big negative for me. Why are uber nerds so opposed to emulation? It works. As far as I’m concerned, it works 100%. At least as far as 16 bit and previous consoles are concerned. And my experience is from 20 years ago. It was perfect. No problems. It’s surely only improved since then.

“Oh, but there’s one frame of lag per hour with emulation.” I dont’ give a shit. It seems to work perfectly fine to me. Take your missing frame and shove it up your ass.

It’s denigrating the work of these hard working nerds who devoted their lives to making these emulators so that we could play these games for free. And with scandalous exception, they released these emulators for free. You’re going to spit in their faces over ridiculously imperceptible lag?

What do you think the guy who made ZSNES is doing today? Probably getting fucked in the ass.

http://www.emulationzone.org/articles/interviews/zsknight.htm

There’s an interview of “zsKnight_”, one of the creators of ZSNES. It’s undated but judging by the website design, it was probably from at least 20 years ago.

He says, “

Currently, I’m single, 20 years of age (going 21 within a couple months), and currently studying at Simon Fraser University in BC, Canada.”

Guarantee that that guy is still single. Single or gay or both.

I, for one, value the contributions that these sexless nerds gave to the world. I’m not going to hold that phantom lag over their heads and insist that their work is shit and that we should all buy hardware that replicates the original hardware. There’s no fucking need. Thanks to these social retards we have software that does it for us. Totally free software. Totally free software that will turn ANY computer made in the past 20 years into, for all intents and purposes, the original hardware in question.

Somebody should build a memorial to these people. Untold millions of hours spent on this and they did it not expecting a penny and not receiving a penny. While their fellow students were out getting drunk and having sex, these guys were sitting at home, hunched over a computer, trying to get Super Punch-Out to run on their computer. Other people might dismiss their work and sacrifice but not me.