Gamer Girls

1:41:00 – “When I went to start making porn, when I went to do like hang girl stuff…”

Do I even want to look this up? Eugh. I guess that I have a journalistic obligation.

Nothing immediately comes up. I’m not even sure if that’s what she said. I’m moving on.

But this discussion came about because some horntard said that she’s wearing a Suicide Girls t-shirt. What is this? 1999? This site can not possibly still exist.

It does and it started in 2001. I knew some fat goth chick from a band’s website who was going to do that but I don’t know if she ever did. This must have been around 2001. It was all the rage then. But in 2024? No fucking way.

“I signed up for a website called MyFreeCams.”

Yeah. I’m familiar. A bunch of women from impoverished countries go there and even they aren’t making enough money to live on. Go on.

She says that she streamed “a few times.”

Then she looked into doing “modeling” for Suicide Girls.

She didn’t end up submitting the “portfolio” and paperwork. She says that now she has more “body mods” so presumably, she thinks that she has a better chance of getting accepted now.

First of all, I’m sure that they accept absolutely everbody. Secondly, YOU’RE OVERWEIGHT. What part of this is she not getting? Who’s the person who wants to see PVC Bondage Guy naked. It’s madness. This is a hot chick? I will never go to Pennsylvania if these are the hot chicks there. Fucking PVC Bondage Guy, Horseface, 300 Pound Johanna. Come on.

1:43:00 – She got two free passes to something called Blackheart Burlesque. I guess. I had to listen to this about five time. Take some elocution lessons, PVC Bondage Guy. I’m really struggling with this story. But it’s apparently something to do with Suicide Girls. She got the free passes because she was on MyFreeCams.

Newt, constantly thinking about himself, is upset that she didn’t take him. She says that she was dating somebody at the time.

“Both times I went, they did this amateur stripper contest at the end.”

Eugh. Please do not finish this story.

She won both times.

Stop right here. PVC Bondage Guy won a stripping contest. What could the other women POSSIBLY have looked like that fucking PVC Bondage Guy won?

She won a tank top for her efforts. Oh, how fucking sad is this? Stripping for a TANK TOP.

Then Newt starts talking about himself, of course. A “comedy” story about how he was in a wet t-shirt contest. Uh huh. Great. Let’s focus on your crazy friend here and her story.

So anyway, that’s the story. It went nowhere. It could have gone somewhere if Newt wasn’t so fucking self-obsessed and could even PRETEND to take an interest in other people.

I’ll tell you how PVC Bondage Guy might be able to make some money on MyFreeCams. The business model is that you pay the woman to take her clothes off and masturbate and shove vegetables up her ass and whatnot. That’s fine and good.

But PVC Bondage Guy can turn that business model on its head. She starts off naked and with a cucumber up her ass and then people say, “Oh, god. I don’t want to see this. I’ll give you $20 if you put your clothes back on.”

She could come up with a whole menu of stuff she’ll do for money. She’ll take her “meds” for $10. She’ll refer to herself as a woman for $15. She’ll wash that makeup off for $25. She’ll put a dress on for $50. She’ll go to a job interview for $100.

Instead of paying a woman to debase herself, you’d be paying her to try to get her life together. I think that it could work. There’s a certain thrill in having a positive influence in somebody’s life.