0:00 – He says that he shaved. I’ve never tried to grow any facial hair. Is that weird? Am I missing out on something important?
I don’t think that anything would grow. I don’t use shaving cream or gel or anything. Just once every day or two I wet a razor and shave my upper lip, the area by my ears, and my chin. I use tweezers for everything else. Maybe I could grow a moustache. Maybe. But I’m pretty sure that that’s it. Maybe a creepy moustache is the answer to all of my problems.
3:00 – Newt is telling some cryptic story about a director of some shitty movies who unfriended him on Facebook after thinking that he’s Jewish. He did some work for this director, apparently. The director is a woman, by the way.
“American Fetish X is one that she asked me to work on and I got her some friends of mine, this is like 2011, I got her friends of mine who were sex workers at the time and nothing ever came of that whole thing.”
Newt openly admitting that he has “sex worker” “friends”. He’s a complete piece of shit.
Speaking of which, I think that Newt tried to get the blog shut down after I posted this article:
You know what happened? Nothing. It’s some of that delicious free speech.
Newt will bitch about Youtube trying to silence him over the disgusting porn that he uploads there but I can’t talk about what a piece of shit he is? Fuck off.
6:00 – “How’s the new job? It’s a lot. I’m a little bit regretting some of the decisions that I made. I turned down a dream job because I was trying to get out of the theatre industry but now I’m kind of regretting it.”
Somebody left a comment on the blog, somebody who seems to be in Newt’s inner circle, and they said that he’s working in that he’s working at FYE now. It’s some chain of nerd shops, apparently.
If it was such a dream job why turn it down to work in retail management?
8:00 – Newt says that it was Passover recently so had a large number of Jewish people come into his establishment. But…he’s talking about…like a go kart track, I think. So Newt is working at a go kart track? In addition to FYE or instead of it? Is he still working at the movie theatre?
9:00 – Newt says that he asked people to review Swamp Zombies 2 but, “There weren’t a lot of people chomping at the bit to review that one.”
Well, no shit. It’s worse than a student film.
10:30 – Newt says that he’s shadowbanned from Youtube. Well, posting pornography can have that result.
11:30 – Newt is talking about a “Ukranian girl” who he “cast” in some unreleased softcore porn that never got finished. She shows her breasts. He says that she died a few years ago. I know where this is going. You fucked her in the ass, right? You’re going to tell us about all of the sodomy that you got up to with this dead chick? This seems to be Newt’s thing.
Oh, and she died of cancer too. Just like his “friend” with that sweet colon.
12:15 – Newt is talking about public domain movies that he wants to plagiarise from. Creature from the Haunted Sea is the movie that he wants to rip off. Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen.
21:30 – The “dream job” that he referenced earlier was “house manager” at the Colonial Theatre.
He declined that to work in a nerd shop and/or a go kart track. Watching Orthodox Jews go around and around in a circle all day. What a life.
I’m going to go get some cereal. Keep my energy up.
27:30 – Creator Clash. Somebody asks Newt if he would do it. Newt says that it’s been cancelled because the people who ran it owed a lot of people money.
But that would be great. Newt Wallen vs James Rolfe. Unfortunately, no doctor on earth would sanction Newt as being fighting fit.
30:00 – Newt says that his boners are okay now. Well, Joe from Gamesack will be pleased to hear that.
32:30 – “A young lady who’s a very, very attractive young lady, who’s a friend of Metz’ wants to come and stream with us as well.”
What a piece of shit Newt is.
But back to Joe from Gamesack looking at Newt’s penis, how fucking weird is all of this? I was watching Joe’s latest video today. And I was thinking Joe from Gamesack knows about the blog, Newt knows about it, Erin, whoever. And it’s a blog. It’s a blog that gets 200 hits a day.
Not that these people are big time celebrities by any means. Most of them are unemployed. Newt at least works so I’ll give him that. That’s his one redeeming quality, perhaps. But I suppose that these people have some kind of followings. 200,000 subscribers for John Riggs. But that guy still makes time to check out the blog every day.
I don’t care because these people are complete nobodies. They’re entirely beneath me. But imagine if you were writing a blog about some big Hollywood celebrity. Dolly Parton, let’s say. And every day, I’m writing about what a piece of trash she is.
I would shit my pants if Dolly Parton started reading the blog. Well, maybe I should branch out. Start writing about large bust celebrities. Maybe I could get a date out of it.
There used to be a blog called Washed up Celebrities. It still exists but it hasn’t been updated since 2014. And the guy wrote an article about Harriet from Small Wonder. And the boyfriend or husband or Harriet said that she’s not washed up, she’s a pleasant woman, and if you knew her you wouldn’t write these things. This sort of thing.
So maybe it’s possible. I can start talking about Kat Dennings and whoever and before you know it, I’m fucking Hollywood movie starlets.
But back to The Ideas Man.
34:00 – “I had to stop seeing my therapist because of financial reasons.”
I don’t think that it was doing any good anyway.
“I stopped meds all together because it was making me feel off.”
It seems that the “meds” didn’t do anything either. By the way, I REALLY hate how people say “meds”. It’s always crazy people who use this term.
35:00 – Newt says that he has six months left on his lease and he was, “Offered to move out of the area.” Whatever that means.
So leases are 12 months in the US? Maybe they are. I don’t remember. They’re definitely six months in England. ZERO in Scotland. It’s glorious. And landlords have to have a really good reason to kick you out. There’s no more “no-fault” evictions. You have to be really behind on your rent or a verified public nuisance.
I was evicted once because the landlord wanted to fix the floor in the bathroom and he knew that this would require putting me in a hotel for a few days. He didn’t want that minor expense so he just evicted me. What an asshole. You wouldn’t be able to do that today.
36:45 – Oh, he says that was “offered to move to Albany, New York.” He’s talking about job offers.
“I’m worried about leaving this area because this is where my friends are.”
Newt…they have prostitutes in Albany too. Don’t worry about it.
How far away is it anyway? 230 miles…five hour drive. Yeah, that is pretty far. And you have to go through New York City. Fuck that. Also Poughkeepsie.
50:00 – Newt is talking in detail about his penis surgery. No, thanks. I think I’m good.
“Some unreleased softcore porn that never got finished”
Just like Sucks2suck, River Mummies, Amityville Arcade, Planet Frankenstein etc. The list of films this dude claims to have worked on that never got completed just keeps growing.
If Newt ever asks for help, no one’s gonna give him any because they’ll just assume he’s lying or won’t complete the project. So the day the shit hits the fan he’s really screwed.
I can’t believe that anybody agrees to be in these “movies” knowing his track record of never finishing anything. And I don’t even think that a lot of them are getting paid anything.
So how does that work with Newt trying to shut you down? You get his complaint forwarded to you? Of course it’s horseshit. Seriously how vain can you be? Total Streisand Effect. I’m sure if he just ignored you/it, you’d stop and it would fade away. Whatever!
I remember watching Small Wonder but I was weirded out by it as a kid. Something was off about that show. Not the obvious go to where you think it’s creepy how he builds a girl robot. We know what he’s using for right? Haha let’s all laugh. No. There’s something else. It was like too corny. Everyone looked like they were always coming back from Sears portrait studio. The acting was awful. As a kid I knew it sucked. It was just weird and stupid. I looked it up but all I can find are articles from India so they are all written from the Indian perspective. There’s tons! Maybe AI wrote them all but was this really the biggest show in India? One article said it was on tv till 1998! What the fuck? There was also a similar show at the same time where a girl lives with her mother and is half alien or something and she can freeze time and her dad is just like some voice over from outer space in some episodes. I think these shows played back to back. Anyway none of it is really worth remembering. Just stupid shit.
I suspect that Newt wrote to the the hosting provider because I suddenly got some hits from the town in Iceland where this company is based. But this company has a pretty clear policy that they won’t delete anything unless it violates the laws of Iceland. On their website, they basically tell you not to bother complaining.
Out of This World is the alien sitcom. I might have seen it once. I don’t think that it was shown back to back with Small Wonder in my area. These were syndicated shows so it varied based on what market you were in.
But I watched Small Wonder religiously. It was actually very popular in India. I went to some Small Wonder forum probably 20 years ago and like half the people were Indian. I was pretty confused.
The forum was run by some creepy guy who called himself “Viki’s Uncle” or something. I called him out on this and he explained that the guy who created the show is considered Viki’s father and…this website owner had some nebulous connection to the show so he considered himself to be Viki’s uncle. Umm…okay, whatever.
People didn’t even talk about the show on there. It was just a general discussion forum for creeps who like the idea of having a little girl robot in their house. So I remember there was a guy talking about dog fucking and comparing it to homosexuality and I responded like, “What the fuck does this have to do with Small Wonder?” I didn’t stick around that place for long.
Oh, and the guy who played Jamie was considered dead for a long time. This was on the IMDB forums. For years, people speculated that he had died. Then, I don’t know, maybe ten years ago he came out and said that he’s alive and he was just working in some restaurant in Arizona or somewhere. He was apparently homeless for a while too.
The last I heard from him, this was a few years ago, he was trying to get on Dancing With the Stars or something but it’s a complete pipe dream. He’s looking rough.
I also saw him in a Youtube video fairly recently, some weirdo was chasing him down and asking him about robots. Jerry (Jamie) just waved him off, basically.
He also had a stripper girlfriend who apparently took all of his money. Just like that boy who played Mark in Home Improvement. I think that Mark (whatever his real name is) married some old stripper when he was like 19 and she took all of his money. What a moron.
That’s hilarious! Even the wiki seems to be written by an Indian
“The series turned out to be a surprise hit, specifically with children, as many channels belonging to different nations witnessed while re-running the show.”
.
I’m sure it resulted in destructive results.
.
It is weird that the first thing people think is build a robot to have sex with it. Like why not build a robot to get rich and get real women?
There was a show much later. Like 2003(?) called the Pitts. It was created by someone who wrote for the Simpsons. It was really fucking weird. It was like cartoon stores that were live action like a car comes to life or the family turns into werewolves. Seriously cinemassacre levels of awful. So bad it got yanked off the air after a few weeks. But I found it fascinating how something so shitty made it to tv.
There is NO WAY Newt was gonna get a job working at The Colonial Theatre. Just like any industry, word gets around about certain people. He’s gone through working at about 6 or 7 theaters in the area in just the past 10 years. No one is gonna hire that no-talent creep to work in a movie theater again at this point, he’s burned too many bridges.
Someone from the Cinemassacre Truth board saw him working in FYE in (removed).
The go-kart track job he proudly posted about on his Facebook page (removed), but has now removed it from public view.
I edited your post. We don’t need to know the specific mall that he’s working at and the specific go kart track. Even if he posted this, even if he openly talks about what movie theatre he works in, your comment was gratuitous.
I dunno if I’d call that gratuitous. I find it valuable to know places I wouldn’t want to be if that dipshit was there. Especially if I was Horseface. Though I can see how you wouldn’t want to be doing a public service for her of all people.
You’re a good dude. Newt’s life is shitty enough without Truthers showing up at his go-kart track. Fun article, as always.
Newt talks about people calling the mayor on him and shit, thinking that it’s me. No. It’s some fucking lunatic from TheCinemassacreTruth. Probably GarbageStabber.