Gamer Girls

24 minutes. Can they make this at all watchable? Let’s see how many minutes I can get through.

I’ve never played Overwatch, by the way, but I know that it’s like Team Fotress 2, a game that I played extensively for many years.

0:00 – James says he never played this before. You don’t say. This is like watching an Erin Plays video.

0:45 – But first a word from our sponsor. Really awkwardly entered into the video. John was in the middle of explaining the game to Rainman. Whoever is editing this is doing a really poor job. Probably that faggot who banned me from the Cinemassacre sub-reddit. Eric or Josh or whatever his name is.

Well, they’re not advertising that VPN for a change. It’s some game called Turbo Kid. I’m looking it up and it doesn’t seem to have any connection with Screenwave. It was released today (yesterday) when I post this. It already has 16 reviews on Steam, all positive. That seems a little questionable. I don’t know.

1:45 – Now we’re back to the video. John says that he used to play a lot of first person shooter games. James has NO IDEA what he’s talking about. He just keeps saying “mm hmm”. James doesn’t even know what a “first shooter game” is. And then John gives the example of the “SOCOM” games. Or something. And James just “mm hmms”. I don’t even know what the fuck he’s talking about. But James is just pretending that he understands.

Again, this is exactly what Erin does. She has NO IDEA what anybody is talking about when the subject is video games (or really anything other than Britney Spears and colours) so just pretends to understand. Badly.

3:00 – They’re playing this on an X-Box of some description. Of course. Because James is too big of a retard to understand how PC games function.

Again, just like our friend Erin Plays who once commented that she never played a game “with mouse and keyboard” before.

4:00 – John asks what first person shooters Jimmy has played. Jimmy says, “I used to play Doom a lot.”

How contemporary. You mean that game that came out 30 years ago? God, it’s fucking embarrassing. He’s a total fraud. Just like Erin.

What other similarities are there? They both seem to be mentally challenged. They’re both personality blackholes. They’re both puppetted by Mike Matei. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re both getting fucked in the ass by Mike.

And James is responding to these questions like he got a fucking lobotomy.

4:30 – “Dumb question but are we playing against people?”

Oh my god. “Dumb” doesn’t even begin to describe how idiotic that question was. He doesn’t have a fucking clue what’s going on. He couldn’t even bother to do two minutes of research on the game before he started the video. He doesn’t even understand the concept of multiplayer first person shooter games. He’s never played one before.

What’s your favourite colour, Jimmy? Can you regale us with any stories about the time you saw Britney Spears on Mtv?

4:45 – “Is this like a headset kind of game?”

Oh my god. What is he even talking about? Do people even do that any more? It was never a big thing, as far as I’m aware.

6:00 – John keeps talking about how amazing the game is because all of the characters have the same skill. Like…in some games, if you play the game for a while, you unlock more abilities. Apparently. I’ve never seen this but according to John, this is a thing. I think that gave Call of Duty as an example.

I’ve never played Call of Duty but I’ve played a fair number of multiplayer shooter games for the PC and none of them give you more abilities the more you play the game. So I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about but this thing where you don’t get new abilities is not at all unusual, in my experience.

7:00 – James is playing now. It’s the worst Overwatch gameplay ever recorded.

8:00 – “This is bringing me back to, like, Goldeneye.”

Another timely reference, Jimmy. That game was released 25 years ago.

8:15 – John is complaining about kids who call him a “try hard” in the game.

It’s true. It’s basically the reason why I quit Team Fortress 2. It got too stupid. You would constantly get assholes being “friendly”. Refusing to play the game, effectively. It’s just “trolling”. And bad, lazy trolling.

I trolled too but my way of trolling was to kick everybody’s ass. I always played the soldier class and a map called 2fort, which is a map that “noobs” enjoy. I’d camp out on that respawn that leads directly on to the sniper deck and just kill people as they come out. I got really good at it. I was almost always first place on the server. I’d kill a few guys, when my health got low, I’d run to the sewers, get the health, and then rocket jump out of the water and back on to the sniper deck. Rinse and repeat for every single game for like 15 years.

And I bound a key to a taunt. It was some stupid term that the nerdy kids used to use. And every time I got a kill, I’d press that key and the taunt would show up in the chat. People got so fucking pissed off. It was hilarious.

It was a good use of my time. And I got really good at doing this one thing on this one map using this one class.

People would inevitably start “camping” at that respawn place. They’d put a sentry there. And if you know the map, you know that there’s absolutely no reason to put a sentry in that spot or to camp there other than to kill me, because I always went there. So then I’d taunt them by saying, “I’ve effectively taken you out of the game”. And I’d change tactics by “camping” the other respawn by rocket jumping up from that grate area near the entrace.

Delightful nerd rage memories.

8:45 – James says, “I don’t usually do online games at all.”

It’s fucking…why even release this video? It’s like Screenwave is trying to intentionally sabatage James. There are numerous examples of this over the years.

I’m turning this off now. I made it to 11 minutes. It’s just boring and I think that somebody stole James’ brain.

Oh, there’s allegedly a funny bonus at the end. Let’s check it out…

17:00 – Jimmy is complaining about how you have to put different passwords in to play different games. Ummm…you do? I have Steam, Jimmy. That’s all I use. I’m an adult in 2024. I have no idea what my Steam password is. I have it written down somewhere but it just saves. Steam loads automatically when I start my computer. You can save the password. It’s been like this for decades at least.

So anyway, the “bonus” content at the end of this video is just James was bored with this actual game so he gave John some stupid Flash-type game about passwords. Fuck off.

19:45 – Now they’re playing Wordle for some reason. James says that he’s only done it once. I would have loved to have seen that. Watch this fucking retard’s brain implode.

Anyway, total waste of time. Jimmy just got bored of the game so decided to shoehorn this completely unrelated bullshit into it. This wasn’t “fun”. It was stupid. James Rolfe is a stupid man.