Gamer Girls

I swear that I look at these channels every day. Every day I check Erin’s channel, CannotBeTamed, Bobdunga and Pelvic Gamer. I probably check Newt’s channel every other day. Destiny Fomo I’ll check every week or so because she hasn’t uploaded in months. I’ll check John Riggs and Tony from Hack the Movies when I’m desperate for stuff to talk about. Same with what’s her name, that fat Puerto Rican woman. I’m subscribed to Cinemassacre and Lyngendary so I don’t have to check their channels.

But the point is that I swear that I check these core women who I talk about every fucking day. And yet here’s this video from six days ago that somehow passed me by.

Anyway, Pam looks different. I wasn’t sure what it was but top horntard comment is about her hair. That must be it. Smokeshow, Pam. I’m really jerking off over here.

7 Great Games on Game Pass. She hasn’t done these cookie cutter videos in a while. I don’t even know what Game Pass is.

Oh, she starts the video by telling you what it is. Great stuff, Pam. You really anticipated my needs. It’s a subscription service for Xbox (I guess) where you can play a bunch of games but the games are rotated out. So if you like a game, it might be removed. Well, that sucks dick. I don’t want that.

Oh, and you can play on PC too. Let me check this out. Not that I’m going to subscribe.

$17 a month. Yeah, I don’t think so. It would be way more than what I pay now for games. What was the last game that I even bought? Let me check my emails for Steam…

September of last year. I bought three games last year. Well, actually just one. The other two purchases were DLC.

And yet, I play games all day. I play the fucking games that I have. I don’t need to get a new game every day. I only play the top tier shit that really speaks to me. If I find a game that I’m interested in, I’m going to play that shit for years. I can’t understand these people who view games as disposable. No attention spans.

6:15 – “Have you ever wanted to be a shark?”

I don’t even think that she’s joking. No, Pam. I’ve never wanted to be a shark.

So anyway, she just talks about seven games. I didn’t listen to any of this for more than five seconds. I just skipped to the various time stamps. Fortunately, she time stamps her videos.

Some horntard in the comments rails against Game Pass. Pam replies with, “Paying $20 a month for the games I want to check out rather than $200 seems pretty good to me.”

How would you spend $200 a month? Who would spend $200 a month on games? It’s like a new game every week. Go do something else with your life if you’re playing games this much.

And of course you can just pirate everything. She’s talking about single player games in this video, I think.

A lot of the horntards talk about her hair.

Oh, here’s an interesting one. Somebody says “Thanks grandma”. Pam suggests that they take a butterscotch on their way out. And then…then some horntard said this:

this got me. I always notice your trend of comment responses. As an attractive woman talking about video games, I imagine you get it from all sides. I feel bad, because I always want to communicate how beautiful of a person I think you are, but you run the risk of looking like an internet creep who is just watching for the fact that a girl is reviewing games. I actually think you’re one of the best reviewers on the platform. I just also have a massive crush on you. As does my wife.

If this guys’ goal, as was stated, was to NOT look like a creep, he failed spectacularly.

Let’s check out old Jasayla (underscore’s) Twitter.

Absolutely nothing. All she’s doing is advertising her Youtube videos and Twitch streams.

These people need to understand how to build a channel. It’s not about mindless promotion. It’s about creating interest. Creating interest in you as a person. If you’re just putting out these soulless ads all the time, that’s not interesting. All that that tells me is that you’re a boring as fuck person who’s only interested in self-promotion.

Write some fucking tweets talking about your life. About your thoughts. About your aspirations.

The guy who wrote the Irate Gamer Sucks blog, as far as I can recall, never wrote a single thing about himself. Certainly, I don’t know anything about him. He would just write detailed posts talking about Chris BORES’ boring as fuck videos.

I read the blog. It could be amusing. But I think that it would benefit if we knew something about the guy writing this shit. Personalise it.

I’m not offering my blog as an example of great marketing. But I think that there’s wisdom in the idea that knowing something about a Youtuber or a blogger helps create interest in the material. If every day I was just writing robotic messages about how shitty Erin’s videos are, I think that the blog would suffer. Knowing about my contempt for my parents and school stories and political views helps to build a view of the person creating the shit. I don’t even think that it has to be a necessarily positive view of the person in order for it to have a positive benefit.

Take Newt Wallen, for example. He is one of the worst people I have ever known in my life. Nevertheless, he’s more interesting now than he was back when I didn’t know anything about him. When he was just some stooge on Hack the Movies with a horse-faced woman, it was, you know, whatever. But once I learned that he’s completely objectionable in every facet of his life, suddenly I’m interested. Suddenly I want to watch these videos where he’s reviewing carbonated beverages.

Mike Matei. He talks about Star Trek, he talks about dragging Erin to an arcade, he talks about his fondness for old Donald Duck comics. It’s nothing deep. He’s not sharing anything important about his life. But it still makes his ten times more interesting than, say, Retro Ali who we know NOTHING about.

So you don’t have to share everything. But share SOMETHING. Give us something to make us want to watch your fucking videos.

When you don’t share anything about yourself, it gives the impression that there’s nothing to know. You’re just a boring person. And it’s probably true in the case of Retro Ali but come on. Make some kind of a fucking effort.