Gamer Girls

Erin has been teasing THIS for weeks. Another zero effort video, the idea of which she stole from JOHN RIGGS. She apparently uploaded this a week or two ago, there were audio problems, so she took it down. Then rather than re-uploading it immediately, she said that she had to wait until the next weekend because that’s when her analytics say that most of her viewers are on her channel. And she really wants everyone to see this. This completely no effort video, about information that she got from Wikipedia, that she barely even appears in.

0:00 – “Welcome back once again to MY series about the last games released during a console’s official lifespan.”

YOUR series? And she really emphasises the word “my”. It’s JOHN RIGGS’ series.

I mean, I’m sure that John Riggs didn’t invent this. He probably stole the idea from somebody else. But John Riggs definitely was making videos about this around the time that Erin started this “series”.

0:30 – Dr Mario. Wikipedia dot com. Then she reads from Mike’s Nintendo Power collection.

1:30 – Things that she finds “cute” about the game.

1:45 – She finds the game “stressful”.

2:30 – Mario Party 3. Wikipedia dot com. No transition between games, by the way. She immediately moved on. I wasn’t even sure that she was going on to the next game at first.

2:45 – “Speaking of modes, the game has three modes.”

Eugh. What a useless setup, Erin.

3:45 – Mike’s Nintendo Power collection.

3:45 – Pointless Christina Aguilera reference that goes nowhere.

4:30 – Things that she finds “cute” in the game.

5:00 – Madden NFL 2002. Wikipedia dot com.

5:15 – Mike’s Nintendo Power collection.

She didn’t find anything “cute” in this one, I guess.

6:00 – NFL Blitz 2001. She says that doesn’t have anything to say about this one. Is it not on Wikipedia? Let me look this up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NFL_Blitz_2001

No, it is. What the fuck, Erin? Too lazy to tell us that it was released in September 2000 by Midway Games?

But she does go to Mike’s Nintendo Power collection.

6:15 – “They gave the game an overrall rating of 7.9. How specific. I wonder what kept it from being a solid 8.”

Dumb, clueless bitch. This is how games were rated. It’s basically out of 100. Like so many things. 79/100. Not complicated. But she has absolutely no familiarity with video games so this is all new to her. New and cute.

6:30 – She finds the “buff” players to be cute and the cheerleaders.

6:45 – Power Puff Girls. She went to a Power Puff Girls birthday party. I think that she’s told this complete non-story before.

She eschewed Wikipedia dot com again. Must be really rushing through everything now. No time for Wikipedia.

9:15 – “I couldn’t find much information about this game online.”

It’s not on Wikipedia? Have to look this up too. Why am I doing Erin’s job?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Powerpuff_Girls:_Chemical_X-Traction

November 14, 2001. Released by VIS Entertainment.

9:45 – Mike’s Nintendo Power collection.

10:00 – Razor Freestyle Scooter. What? Isn’t this six games now?

1. Dr Mario
2. Mario Party 3
3. Madden 2002
4. NFL Blitz 2001
5. Power Puff Girls

Yeah. What the fuck? Why are there six games in this “last five games of a console’s lifespan” series? Great name for a series, by the way. Really rolls off the tongue.

She just put no effort at all into this and didn’t realise that she’s talking about six games. Or seven games, apparently. I skimmed ahead and she talks about some Tony Hawk game too.

She talked about that Power Puff Girls game WAY more than any other game, by the way. She barely talked about those NFL games at all.

10:00 – “I still remember the first time I ever saw a Razor scooter.”

Oh, do tell. This is going to be fascinating. The first time she SAW a Razor scooter. It’s never about things that she personally owned because she never owned anything. Her parents have a lot of explaining to do. They raised this horrible woman with no personality and no conscience.

10:15 – “I begged my parents for one and I ended up getting one with orange wheels and orange handlebars.”

Uh huh. Colours. Any interesting stories, Erin? Colours are not interesting. Get it through your thick skull.

“That thing was very loved.”

Then she just moves on. What the fuck did you do with that scooter? Jump off ramps? Tool around town? Tell us something. TELL US ANYTHING.

No. It was orange. What else do you want to know?

10:30 – Wikipedia dot com.

10:45 – “Me and my friends never wore any protective gear with these things.”

Uh huh. Riveting, Erin.

11:00 – Mike’s Nintendo Power collection.

12:00 – “You could also pick out what colour scooter you want, which we all know was a very important choice growing up.”

It seems to be something that you’ve never got past, Erin. Colours. We get it, Erin. Hues. There are a lot of hues out there. You prefer some over others. Cool. Move the fuck on.

“Mine was orange so I went with that for the game as well.”

Fuck the fuck off.

She says that in Nintendo Power, they show you how to do some tricks. She says that she wished that she knew that before she started recording the footage.

So she must record the gameplay footage first. Then she goes to Wikipedia. Then she goes to Mike’s Nintendo Power collection. That’s the video. Also, talk about colours and cute things. It’s competely formulaic and BORING AS FUCK. And she clearly has no experience with or interest in any of these fucking games.

13:15 – Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3. The seventh game of the last five games released for the Nintendo 64.

Wikipedia dot com.

14:15 – “Games that include map editors like are cool, you know, like Excite Bike or Mario Maker.”

Yeah. Like those games. Those are the games the people think of when they think of games that have map editors.

What the fuck. She only mentions those because she played those two games fairly recently, on stream, for money. But no. Nobody fucking thinks of those games as games that have map editors. Doom. Civilization. Warcraft. Any fucking number of PC games.

14:15 – “I never played Tony Hawk games growing up.”

You don’t say. She never played ANY games growing up. So what she said was true but once again, intentionally misleading.

“But I do have a lot of friends who got into punk rock because of these games.”

Uh huh. Sure.

“So that’s pretty cool.”

Uh huh. “That’s cool”. Erin’s go to response for everything. She’s a total fucking airhead.

14:45 – She suggests listening to your own music while playing the game and there’s footage of her putting Mike’s copy of some TMNT soundtrack into a CD player.

That’s the video. I guess that this game wasn’t ever mentioned in Nintendo Power. Nothing cute about it either.

15:15 – “What console would you like to see me cover next?” None. John Riggs does a much better job of this. And he cranks these videos out like every two days. Not once every six weeks like Erin is doing these days.

Just another complete piece of shit video from Erin. Why bother? Why continue to do any of this?

• “Hi! Last week when I first tried to publish this video, there was unfortunately an audio glitch about half way through so I had to re-export it and upload it again. Thanks for your patience with this one!”

That was from Erin. Somebody replies with, “Mad respect for doubling back on your work due to an audio glitch. I love that kind of work ethic!”

Mad respect for WHAT? Doing the absolute bare minimum? “Yo, yo, yo. Mad respect for correcting a video that had terrible sound issues.”

Who wouldn’t do that? You expect her to keep a video that had bad audio problems for half of the video?

And why didn’t she catch this before she uploaded the video? Because she doesn’t listen to this shit. She doesn’t care. She puts no effort into anything.

• “FYI, Twilight Princess was built for the GameCube and ported to the Wii.”

Somebody replies, “Correct. When I hear something completely and obviously wrong like this in a video, I start to doubt other stuff I heard in said video.”

Yeah. You’re just figuring this out now? Erin doesn’t know shit about video games. This was one of her offhand comments that she didn’t get from Wikipedia. And it was apparently wrong. Of course it was. She knows NOTHING about video games. She doesn’t give a shit about any of this.

But of course, somebody has to come in to protect Erin from the truth.

“boohoo go watch another video”

Yeah. “We’re just here to jerk off. We don’t care that Erin doesn’t know or care about video games.”

Erin replies, “Sorry about the mistake!”

You want to explain why you got it wrong? Maybe take the video down, correct the mistake, and upload it again next weekend when your analytics say you get the most people on your channel.

“Is recognizing unreliable information for what it is a sin nowadays?”

Don’t talk shit about my girlfriend Erin. I love jerking off to her videos.

• “The problem with doing the final games for pretty much any platform is that a few sports games will always creep in. Surprised there were a few heavy-hitters at the end of this particular console!”

That was Joe from Game Sack replying to his girlfriend Erin’s video. He likes to pretend that Erin gives a shit about any of this. That’s his fetish.

Erin replies, “Yeah, I’m not sure if/how I’ll handle the systems where it is basically ALL sports gaes at the end!”

Don’t make the videos. Do something else with your life, Erin. This is not working.

• “Loved the razor scooter nostalgia, Erin.”

Sure. It was orange. How *nostalgic*. Remember orange?

• “My Razor was blue.”

Oh, here we go. We’re getting *nostalgic* now. Remember blue? That was one hell of a colour. What happened to blue? Blue reminds me so much of 2001. They don’t make blue like they used to. Blue was so much better back in the day.

• “I may be going senile in my 30’s but isn’t this 7 games? lol”

Finally, somebody mentions it.

• “You know monopoly was on n64 to”

She doesn’t.

• “Blue nails with red hair, flashy! Lol ever do green nails with red hair for Christmas? Probably that one kinda obvious one.”

This guy is really talking Erin’s language.

• “I like your green skeleton Erin.”

Uh huh. Green. Green’s cool too. That’s cool. Fucking retards.