Newt Wallen Health and Job Update

Doesn’t have cancer but needs a bunch of work done.

He got a second job.

He stopped going to therapy after his insurance from his job was recently taken away.

His filmmaking aspirations might be over.

“I feel like the universe is telling me to start being more realistic about filmmaker dreams.”

Oh, please let that be the case. You might feel bad for a split second but remind yourself of the absolute shit movie ideas that he has. Shark Vampire. Big Titty Cheerleaders From Mars. Amityville Whore House.

He should not even think about making movies. They’re the worst fucking ideas in the world. And not in a good way. It’s all just an excuse to spend time with a horse-faced woman. He’s said as much himself. And every fucking idea is tits and gore.

James Rolfe made an absolutely terrible movie that didn’t even make sense. He just threw a bunch of unrelated, unconnected, half-baked ideas into a movie. This was not a one-off. This is what he does. This is what his seven and a half years in special education brain thinks makes a good movie. Go watch Wizard of Oz 3: Dorothy Goes to Hell, his animated short that he made in college or whatever. It’s the exact same thing as the AVGN Movie. Random, terrible, unrelated ideas all thrown into a movie.

At least James got a wakeup call with the AVGN Movie. He realised that what he does is shit and people don’t want to watch shit.

Could Newt also be reaching this point?

Both Newt and James Rolfe seem to treat the script as an obstacle to making a movie as opposed to the fundamental base of the movie. “I’ll just throw a bunch of random shit in there and tits and gore and call it a day.” No. Write something good and then the movie has a chance of being good. If the script is shit, as it always is with James and Newt, no amount of giant monsters, breasts, or gore can overcome that.

  • “I’m glad to hear that you’re (relatively) ok. My mother died from colon cancer. It’s fucking horrific. I had a benign tumor cut out of my mouth fourteen years ago. Waiting for the result were four of the longest days of my life.”

Newt replies, “My ex passed away last June from cancer that spread fast. I feel like shit not getting this addressed sooner. I just imagine what she would say about this.”

Didn’t give a shit about this guy or his mother. It’s all about Newt, of course. Newt and that “ex” of his, who he repeatedly described as a “friend” while talking REPEATEDLY about how awesome it was to fuck her up the ass. Right after she died. He’s still broken up about this woman who he put multiple deplorable videos about.

You want to know what she’d say? She’d say, “Hey, Newt. Stop being a clueless scumbag for two minutes and talk about something other than my anus.”

But no, Newt thinks that if this woman came back from the afterlife, she’d be talking about how Newt should have gone to the doctor sooner. Newt…she doesn’t give a fuck. She has bigger fish to fry. She’s getting fucked in the ass by John Holmes.

I’m reminded of how completely clueless Erin is. She has absolutely no talent for making videos about video games, she’s a charisma blackhole, everybody can see it, but she persists in making these god awful videos. Why? Find something that you’re at least competent at. This is something that you’re really, really bad at.

It’s just people blindly marching to their doom.

Here’s a movie reference for you. It’s like Seven Samurai. Bandits are planning to attack this village. But the bandits know that the titular seven ronin have trained the villagers and set up traps all over. So why not just move on to the next village? You can come back later after the ronin are gone and the traps are taken down.

There’s no logical reason for the bandits to attack but they do anyway and they all get slaughtered.

This is how many people behave. Erin and Newt among them. Hopefully, something has gotten through to Newt and he can stop with this absolutely doomed movie delusions of his.

9 thoughts on “Newt Wallen Health and Job Update

  1. The thing is, assholes like Newt and Erin and that fucking autistic retard Bimmy, would take this golden advice from a master and say “yeah well that’s way for him to say, he’s rich and famous.” He’s telling you with his words he wasn’t always so. If you love artistic expression then the work should be satisfying enough. But they just want to quick road to easy street where they do no work but get all the glory. It does not and cannot exist. If you took even a low level movie, like something on hallmark channel and showed these assholes how much work was done that was thrown out, rewrites, retakes etc, they’d shit themselves! How many things are worked on for periods of time that never get released? Happens all the time. But for this lot, just shit out the first (stolen) idea, do it in one take and then cry like a bitch when it’s not the next Titanic.

    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSKNZpnoCnU

      I was watching the above video today and the guy talks about why the AVGN Movie failed. He covered it pretty well. Basically, James can’t write a script and he wanted to make a big blockbuster instead of something scaled down in line with his budget. What an absolute mess that piece of shit movie was. I only made it about half way through after three attempts. I wrote about it but I refuse to watch any more of that awful movie.

      1. I can’t watch reviews of this asshole. Because they all lick his balls and suck his dick. All because they discovered him when they were inn7th grade and thought it was funny and cool that he’d scream fuck in a “movie.” We need ONE that calls his ass to the carpet for being an autistic retard.

  2. That’s Newt’s story THIS week. Watch closely as he will contradict all of the above soon enough, because he is a pathological liar.

    What’s this second job?

    Was he ever REALLY seeing a therapist?

    He’ll throw up a GoFundMe soon enough for his “medical bills” and probably rent too.

    Everything that comes out of his mouth is BS.

    1. Why would he lie about seeing a therapist? He barely even mentioned it. And why lie about having a second job?

      He’s getting $120/month from Patreon. It’s hardly worth concocting elaborate lies over.

      He’s a scumbag. He’s a piece of shit. He’s a plagiarist. You could say that he exaggerates. You could say that starts projects and doesn’t finish them. But I don’t think pathological liar is accurate.

      1. Well, plagiarism is a form of lie. You are stealing something and claiming you wrote it yourself, which is untrue.

      2. I mean you’ve chronicled a large number of his lies or him doing dishonest things (plagiarizing). It’s not a stretch to think it’s pathological and not simply “this dude is dishonest often”.

        1. There’s a lot of ground between plagiarist and compulsive liar. There’s nobody who ever went to school who hasn’t plagiarised. Newt plagiarised because he’s lazy and has no writing talent, not because he’s a compulsive liar.

          What’s being suggested here? That he’s lying about having cancer? He’s mentioned that he had cancer many times and Tony or Horseface have never said, “What are you talking about, Newt? You’ve never had cancer.”

          I’ve not doubted anything that he’s said. He’s never said anything particularly outrageous. He’s lying about having a second job? Who would do that? If you’re going to lie, you’d say, “I got a job photographing naked ladies.” You wouldn’t lie that your life is worse than it is.

          The suggestion is that he’s making up these hardships for sympathy and possibly to get money. What sympathy? What money? If that’s his goal, it’s not working.

          The idea that he lied about being a car accident and all of this…it’s fucking way out there flat earther shit. Newt is a sad man with a sad life and has completely delusional plans of being a filmmaker. Why is that so hard to believe?

  3. We all know he reads your blog and I’m sure he enjoys it when you rip into his former “coworkers” for their lame shenanigans…but maybe, just maybe he’s absorbed a small dose of reality from the posts about him? You rip him for his shenanigans but it’s based in reality. Ironic. You may be the only person in his life that doesn’t enable his delusions…

    And it’s actually having a healthy affect…reality, bitch-slapping him across the face….or not, i don’t know. Just a nice thought.

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