Pelvic Gaming Has Been Studying Japanese for a Year

Good for her. You’re a real weeb.

She’s using Duolingo. I’ve been using Duolingo as well, for about two years, to learn German. I’m not saying that I’m fluent or anything but I can try a little something.

Wie geht’s, PVC Bondage Guy? Du bist eine nette und klug Frau (Mann? Nein.) aber dein Kopf ist kaputt. Gehen Sie in ein Krankenhouse. Schnell. Und fick Newt Wallen und seine kleine Wurst.

But yeah, Japanese. Pretty lame. “Wow, now I can read all of that manga and video games and understand that anime.”

Why this? Pelvic Gamer is all about her African heritage. Why not the Swahili course on Duo Lingo? Or Zulu?

Let me look these up.

“Swahili is the most widely spoken African Language in Sub-Saharan Africa. It is the national language of Tanzania and Kenya, and is also spoken widely in Uganda, Rwanda, Burundi, Democratic Republic of Congo and the Comoros.”

Neat. You learn stuff.

What about Zulu? I wasn’t even aware that this was a language. I mostly know about Zulu from Civilization.

“It is the language of the Zulu people, with about 12 million native speakers, who primarily inhabit the province of KwaZulu-Natal in South Africa. Zulu is the most widely spoken home language in South Africa (24% of the population), and it is understood by over 50% of its population.”

Oh. I imagined the Zulu people of the 19th century or whenever Shaka was around to live in central Africa. My mind is like a sponge soaking up all of this knowledge today.

What was that movie about that war between the British and the Zulu that was basically just one long war scene?

Oh, Zulu. That makes sense. 1964. Did it take place in South Africa? Oh. It did. I think that I got the DVD from some newspaper. In the mid to late 2000s, newspapers in the UK were so desperate to get people to buy the product that they put DVDs in them. Maybe it was Zulu Dawn that I got. In any event, it was just one long battle scene.

What about learning Spanish? Wouldn’t that be more useful for Pelvic Gamer? She lives in Florida. Large Hispanic population. Also, Spanish is presumably much easier to learn than Japanese. Same alphabet, for one thing.

I took Spanish classes for two years in college. I had no fucking idea what was going on. I never read the textbook. I just expected things to magically work out.

So the professor was constantly talking about the “yo” form or the “tu” form or the “nosostros” form or whatever and I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about. I didn’t know what these words were. And this was something that was covered on like the first page of the book.

German has that same bullshit. All of the Romance languages do. Different verb forms or whatever based on whether you’re talking about “I” or “You” or “They”. Fuck all that shit.

I also don’t like when the words are re-arranged. The verb has to go at the end of the sentence. Except when it doesn’t.

Also “masculine” and “feminine” words. You have to know when to use “El” or “La”, for example. And German has three of them: “Die”, “Das”, and “Der”. Three “genders”, effectively. Some weirdo PVC Bondage Guy shit. Maybe that’s what attracted her to the language.

Anyway, I found a professor who passed everybody, regardless of how little they knew about the language. Some gay guy. If it weren’t for that guy, I’d still be in college.

I still remember that guy’s name. I looked him up before. Right before he started teaching at my college, he was fired from a school for some bullshit. He showed a movie that had brief nudity, it was a children’s film, I think from Cuba where views on nudity are apparently different, he fast-forwarded through the parts that had nudity, but some little shit still complained about him.

I remember watching Romeo and Juliet in like the 10th grade and the fucking teacher fast-forwarded through that two seconds of boob. I nearly raised a complaint that she fast-forwarded past that part. I could not imagine going home and saying, “Oh, I’m so traumatized by this boob that I saw at school. Please get this teacher fired and alert the local media about this.”

Anyway, this guy must be dead by now. Let’s see…yeah, he’d be nearly 80 now. He apparently spoke numerous languages and was an intelligent guy. Imagine this being your legacy. Showing a film with a hint of a boob and getting fired for it.

8 thoughts on “Pelvic Gaming Has Been Studying Japanese for a Year

  1. I had a German Teacher in Jr. High who was a flaming faggot. I didn’t even really understand what a homosexual was, but I learned quick with this guy. Fuhlaaayyyymingg!!! He always wore white slacks with pink sweaters tied over his shoulders like the school was a country club and he played piano and sang show tunes in German. He looked like Liberace. He would have been perfect for the Weimar Republic. The weird thing is he never molested anybody! He might still be alive unless he caught AIDS. I had a class in college, Mexican history and another one that was some other South American country. I honestly can’t even remember, it was so easy and nobody gave a shit. The teacher gave 10%! extra for perfect attendance. She spent half the class calling roll and then we watched movies. Real stereotypical old catholic lady. This was not a catholic college though she just was. Lots of dios mios and the rosary and all that. Any movie with sex in them which is almost anything not rated G she would stop the tape and say oh that’s just how men are. Just guys being guys. Don’t fall for that ladies! Don’t let Latin guys seduce you. This kind of shit. Good advice for Pammy. But there was one movie. Maybe water for chocolate where a girl is in the shower and she stands in front of the TV. A 19 inch TV in a fucking class of 85 people, and says don’t look at this!! Everyone laughed their asses off.
    What was I saying ? Oh yeah. When pelvic gamer goes to Japan she’s going be pissed that no one will speak Japanese to her, would rather speak English and then ask to touch her hair.

    1. I’m surprised that you had foreign language classes in junior high. I wonder how common that is. Or was. I couldn’t take foreign language classes until high school but even there it wasn’t mandatory so I didn’t take any. It wasn’t until college where you needed two years of foreign language classes. I think most colleges, at least at the time, only required one year.

      1. No wonder Americans are mostly monolingual. Here in Mexico English classes are compulsory from primary school and upwards, even in public schools. We’re still talking about the Mexican public school system so don’t actually expect Mexicans to speak English though.

        1. Well actually most Americans are monolingual because they expect people coming to their country to learn English, and they usually never ever do, so I think they’re like “if you don’t give a shit, why ghe hell should we?”. Also if you live around only Englush speakers there isn’t much compulsion to learn a language you won’t use and you won’t go to a country that uses it either most likely unless on some vacation once.

        2. To tell the truth, yes I attended public elementary and junior high in México city. Yes, there were English classes, but those were extremely basic. You could finish junior high without being able to conjugate even the most basic verbs.

          Something that does help is that we get pretty much all our content in English. Music, movies, TV, video games, everything is in English. I’d imagine having content in a foreign language is not common in the US.

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