Gamer Girls

What is this? A skeleton oompa loompa?

She puts no effort into ANYTHING. “Well, I have an oompa loompa wig, I have a skeleton top, let’s put them together.”

Mike has money. Why doesn’t she say, “Mike, I need money for a costume. A good one this time, not the usual thrown together shit that I usually come up with.” Mike would be happy to do it. This is the agreement, Erin. This is how sugarbabying works. You ask for stuff and your sugardaddy provides it. It’s expected. You don’t have to embarrass yourself with these fucking horrible costumes.

0:00 – “Anyway, your character is called Spike and I’m guessing that he got that nickname from his hair.”

You mean the obvious 1980s punk rock spiked hair? Yeah. Erin. That’s the reference alright. We don’t need that pointed out. It’s obvious. What are you, fucking retarded?

She’s at the first SCREEN of the game and she says, “Can you go in this door?”

No. You can’t. She’s CLEARLY never played this before. But she starts the video by giving you the backstory, suggesting that she has played it before.

0:15 – “I guess you would say that it’s a Metroidvania because you’re kind of running around, going back and forth?”

First of all, no. This game, from the two seconds I’m seeing of this, no. Not a Metroidvania. God, what a fucking retard.

But secondly, stop talking about the game like you have any familiarity with you. YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT YOU CAN’T GO IN THE DOOR THAT’S ON THE FIRST SCREEN OF THE FUCKING GAME, YOU MISERABLE, DUMB, LYING BITCH.

She goes in the first room, walks around, and says, “So there’s nothing in that room. That’s something that kind of sucks, that there are empty rooms.”

You didn’t know that the room was empty? The first fucking room?

And I doubt that it was empty. There has to be a reason for that room. Let me look up a competent playthrough.

Maybe it is empty. Because that guy doesn’t bother going in the rooms. As you would, if you knew that it was empty. Erin didn’t know this because she’s never played the game before.

Erin clearly has NO CLUE what’s going on but she insists on maintaining the charade that she does. It’s fucking infuriating.

2:00 – “So I haven’t gotten super far in this game but I do remember one area: the gym.”

Stop the fucking lies. If you play a game briefly, on stream, for money, that does not count as having played the game. Stop presenting yourself as some kind of authority on the game.

2:30 – “This game isn’t great but I like it for some reason.”

Explain to me how you can like a game that you’re so unfamiliar with that you didn’t even know that you can’t enter the door on the first SCREEN of the game. And all of the other bullshit that surprised and confounded her that you would have picked up on during your first attempt at the game.

2:45 – “Ooh, is this an elevator. That looks like an elevator.”

You don’t know? You don’t know if there’s an elevator in this game, on the first level?

And then she can’t go in. Because it wasn’t an elevator. She didn’t know any of this.

Then she gets to a dead end and is surprised by this. Really? You can’t navigate the first fucking level of this game that you say that you like?

3:45 – “The music changes so are these considered bosses?”

You tell us, Erin. You’re the expert.

“Oh my god. His hand comes out?”

Fuck this shit. I’m skipping to the end.

11:00 – “I don’t understand what you’re supposed to do here.”

Then she dies and it’s a game over.

“So this game is just a lot of exploration. It’s just about finding new areas.”

I don’t think that it’s any of that and you don’t know jack shit about the fucking game. Why not just admit it?

“I don’t hate it. Do I think it’s a good game? No. But do I find it interesting and I want to come back to it? Yes.”

Here’s another question for you, Erin. Will you come back to it? “Only if it’s on stream, for money.”

Absolute fucking trash. There are jobs out there, Erin. Find one. This is not for you. This will never a success. You’re soon to be a 40 year old woman. Has any of this worked so far? Do you think that people are waiting for MILF fake gamers? That’s the untapped market?

First of all, you’re not going to be a MILF, you’re just going to be old. Secondly, you don’t have an ounce of personality. That’s why this whole fucking thing was doomed to begin with. If you were a fake gamer but you had personality, it might have worked. Maybe. But with no personality, no interest in video games, no experience with video games, and no experience with ANYTHING, forget it. Go get a fucking job. There’s no shame in getting a job. The shame is what you’re doing now. You’re debasing yourself for PENNIES.

• “I would simply transfer out of the ghoul school.”

That bit of “comedy” was from Tony from Hack the Movies. Doesn’t even make fucking sense. He just wanted to get a mention on the blog, I guess. No. Tony. You’re done. You’re out. Your sick, degenerate bullshit with pimped out orphans has crossed a line. You’re not getting an article on the blog ever again. Your videos are fucking unwatchable anyway so I find it a relief not to have to watch that shit any more.

He did a video with Mint Salad recently. This woman who’s getting urinated on by her pimp and it’s being filmed for money. This woman who Tony has appeared in a porn video with. This woman who Tony has undoubtedly had sex with for money possibly while this woman’s pimp was peeing on the both of them.

I’m supposed to watch this and say “Oh, tee hee. Tony said something kind of silly. What a goofy guy.”

No. It’s gross. You’re gross. You’re a total piece of shit and I derive no comedy from watching your shit videos.

• “There was a Genesis game that was cancelled called Zombie High that this reminds me a lot of. I reviewed the Proto many years ago. I remember it being hard as hell. The ROM is out there.”

That was from omega orbitter Joe from Gamesack. I don’t get it. Is it possible that he think that Erin gives the slightest of fucks about video games? Because he leaves comments like this all the time.

Joe. Get a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. I don’t know what you’re into. You’re looking at Newt Wallen’s cock so it sort of raises some questions. And Newt Wallen has sex with men. He’s open about it. Newt Wallen is openly gay. He has sex with Metz aka PVC Bondage GUY, a well-known man, the clue is in the name, and films it for OnlyFans.

And Joe from Gamesack is there with his dick in his hand asking to see a homosexual man’s penis along with 8 Bit Eric, another presumed homosexual.

Hey, boys, I’m not here to judge. Be loud and proud. I’m just saying give up on Erin. It’s not happening. Erin likes…wait a minute. Mike also shows his penis to other men. Well, whatever. I suppose that the entertainment industry does seem to attract flamboyant homosexual men. And yeah, Youtube isn’t exactly Hollywood but it’s still a kind of entertainment industry.

• “FANTASTIC as usual, rockin costume choice as well! yay for Spoopy Month”
• “Love the costume Erin. I do hope that someday you will consider doing a review of the Punisher on the NES and play it while wearing a leather jacket.”
• “Sexy skeleton Erin”
• “Omg Please marry me”
• “Love the costume. Great video, as you always do”
• “That’s a Great Looking Outfit Erin such a Beautiful Costume I Love it.”
• “The outfits are getting cooler by the episode”
• “I was thinking of someone else with Green hair and a Pinstripe Suit anyway Hi Erin”
• “I love your costume Erin! You look amazing!”

It’s crazy. This is Erin’s life. She puts no effort into ANYTHING and these fucking LEGITIMATE retards still praise her.

I mean…do you even want praise from retards? That would make me uncomfortable.

But maybe she doesn’t know that they’re retarded or she’s convinced herself that they’re not. I don’t know. But hearing that everything you do is great and you should stay the course has to have a warping influence on you. Especially when, objectively, everything that you do is SHIT. Because then you don’t know what to believe. “I’m putting no effort into anything but people still seem to love it so I must be some kind of a creative genius.”

No. Not a genius, Erin. These people are just retarded. What they’re telling you is not true. Your costume is total shit. Your videos are total shit.

“Well, why is everybody else saying that I’m so great then?”

Because they’re retards and they’re trying to have sex with you. It’s as simple as that. I’m giving you a dose of reality. That’s why the blog is important. A voice of sanity in a sea of horny retards. It’s beneficial to Erin to know that her content is shit. Because she can’t go through life believing the lies of the horntards. The reality is that everything that Erin does is shit. Once she accepts this, which I appreciate is a difficult thing to accept, maybe she’ll get a job. Something that suits her. This Youtube shit isn’t it.