Oh baby. She’s back with another video.
0:00 – “Today I’m going to be doing a little video about some new Megadrive pickups that I got recently. I’m really excited to show you some of those.”
You’re not the only one who’s excited here. Show me the goods, baby. Really work it. Make me want it.
I don’t know what that is in her ear, by the way, but who cares? Maybe it’s a hearing aid. Maybe it’s headphones. Maybe it’s some hip accessory that the young people are using now. Whatever it is, I’m into it.
0:15 – Ristar. Great. Fabulous. Never heard of it but I’m sure it’s wondeful. You have fun with that one.
I don’t even care that she called the character “super cute”.
Then she shows a close up of the case. Then she sensually opens it up and shows the manual. Oh my god. Can you do this on Youtube?
She shows the condition. It’s a little worn but fantastic. No complaints from me, certainly.
1:30 – Puggsy. I think. She says that it’s from the same publisher that made Lemmings. So…Psygnosis?
Not too long ago, I was in the building that used to house DMA Designs. It’s a Mexican restaurant now. There must have been a sign in there indicating that it used to be where DMA is.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockstar_North
Oh yeah. There’s a picture of the building there. That was definitely it. But when I went, there was just a fat chick in there with her friend. And you had to order from the app. I hate that. I’m there, in person, can I not just tell you what I want? It’s not like the place was busy. No, I have to take ten minutes downloading the app and monkeying with that shit.
2:00 – “I think it looks really, really good. It’s really defined.”
Ooh. Speaking of things that look really, really good and are well-defined, let’s take a brief detour to check out Lydia’s Twitter.
Oof. Work those melons, baby.
Ummm…I’m finding it a little dubious that these three women happen to live in the same area, are about the same age, and all share the same extreme nerd interests. ALSO, they’re all “content creators” and the “content” that they “create” surrounds nerd activities.
I’m starting to doubt the veracity of all of this, Lydia. Is this all just a ploy to pull in horntards? Because that’s not attractive.
Even if this is genuine, it’s not attractive. Three giant nerds playing a boardgame and gossiping over view counts and giving each other thumbnail tips? It’s pathetic.
Nevertheless, I’d still give all of those women some loving. So let’s move on.
2:45 – Lemmings. She refers to it as “The Lemmings” twice so it’s not an accident. But she continues, “I’ve never played this before.” Fine. It’s an old game. Nobody expects you to have played it. I can appreciate the honesty.
But who would possibly want to play the console version of this? I downloaded some open source or something Lemmings thing a few years ago that had all of the levels from every game and probably new ones created by nerds in their mothers’ basements. I can’t find what it was now, though.
Oh, I think it was NeoLemmix.
But no, I’d rather play the watered down console version of this game on my “Mega Drive” like a cavewoman.
3:30 – Alisa Dragoon. I’m pretty sure that she said “Dragon”.
4:30 – “So that’s the games. Let’s go show you what they look like to play now”. And she raises her eyebrows.
What? Is she implying something here? This is all very suggestive.
So she plays the games in a darkened room while some mood-setting music plays. We can’t see Lydia but I assume that she’s in a sheer bra and panties set and nothing else. She’s filming her tv.
9:15 – “That concludes the video. Thank you so much for watching” and she encourages you to subscribe to all of her social media. I won’t be doing all of that but the pleasure was all mine, Lydia. Keep up the good work.
Let’s hope that Erin and these other clueless buffoons who I write about are taking notes. You have to be engaging, you have to have some semblance of a personality, you have to have some class, and you have to put work into your videos. This is how you get views.
Lydia didn’t just shit this video out. This was lovingly crafted. She had the different shots of the box art. She had the music for the gameplay portion of the video. She had different angles of the tv to keep things fresh. This was all laid out in advance. Work was put into this.
She didn’t just say, “Hey, guys. I’m going to play some game for ten minutes for the first last time in my life and see what happens.” That’s dogshit.
When she was familiar with a game, she said so. And when she wasn’t familiar with a game, she didn’t make shit up. She didn’t say, “Oh, I used to play Lemmings all the time but I just forgot what level 2 looks like.” She just said, “I’ve never played this before.” No big deal. Nobody cares. Nobody has played every game. There are loads of games that I haven’t played. Popular games. Who gives a shit?
And she doesn’t have to dress like a whore vampire to get views. Seeing those delicious melons in a sweater is enough. Dignity is attractive.
Red head: check.
Retro theme: check.
Pseudo nerd: check.
Picture on Instagram showing her feet: check.
See Erin? It’s not that hard. You just need to actually have tits.
Fake redhead! Also Suzanne Somers died yesterday, will Newt do a tribute?
Still nothing. So I’m thinking no. But Piper Laurie got a shoutout.
https://twitter.com/SelfAdsorbed/status/1713291141741769062
Whoever Piper Laurie is. Must have some horror film connection. She was a sprightly 91 years young. Newt didn’t bother to say anything about her, though. Not even “No.” Just a re-tweet with no comment.