It seems like that old prostitute Fallon is back in Newt Wallen’s good graces. Because he got her another job.
Skeletor is also in this. I’ve got to come up with a better name than Skelator. I just use the first name that I think of but this one needs a definite review.
It’s interesting which people I give nickname to.
- CannotBeTamed = Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining
- Tony = Tony from Hack the Movies (not really a nickname because he uses the name but I always make sure to use his full “title”)
- Bobdunga = Saint Dungalous
- Pelvic Gaming = Pelvic Gamer
- Newt Wallen = The Ideas Man
- Destiny Fomo = Madam Fomo
- John Riggs = JOHN RIGGS
- Metz = PVC Bondage Guy
- Crystal Quin = Horseface McGee
- Gamesack = Joe from Gamesack
- Zap Cristal = Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal
- Zap’s new husband = Mr Wright Way II
So most people have nicknames, even though a few of these nicknames barely qualify as nicknames. More like style guides. But interestingly, Erin is just Erin. Her content is so dreadful that there’s no need to embelish with stupid nicknames.
But Skeletor…I don’t know. Aside from the lack of creativity, it’s just mean-spirited. She has an obvious eating disorder. Am I going to insult somebody for having an eating disorder?
Anyway, the Ideas Man is working on a new “movie” (giant air quotes) with these two “sexy” (again) ladies. It’s the same thing that he did recently. He’s “directing” a scene for some patchwork “movie” that Donald Farmer is “directing”. Yes, the Donald Farmer.
So what Donald Farmer does is get a bunch of delusional lunatics like Newt Wallen, tell them to “direct” a scene using local prostitutes, and then Donald Farmer takes these various “scenes”, of varying levels of shittiness, and cobbles them into a “movie”. A “movie” that nobody buys.
I’m suddenly reminded of Bum Fights. Similar premise, I guess. Exploit people at the lowest level of society: the homeless, prostitutes, the mentally ill.
0:00 – That old prostitute is running.
See? That’s another thing. Fallon’s nickname is basically, “That old prostitute”. But I can’t use that any more because now we have another old prostitute. There are two old prostitutes in this very video. So I’ll just have to use “Fallon”. Reluctantly. I don’t know what the other fucking woman’s name is. That’s why nicknames get used to begin with. Well, whatever. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
So Fallon is running. She’s running toward the camera. The idea is that the audience wants to see her tits bouncing. Really? I didn’t want to see that. This wasn’t remotely titilating.
I’ll tell you what else it wasn’t. It wasn’t cinema. This had no relation whatsoever to a movie. This is just a delusional lunatic and a prostitute wasting their time.
0:15 – Now she’s running away. The idea, wrongly, is that people want to see her ass. And it’s night. And the lighting is bad. You can’t fucking see anything. Come on. This is fucking trash.
0:30 – Now we’ve Fallon and…whatever, the other prostitute. The other prostitute is opening a door and sees Fallon and Newt’s brilliant direction is “Grab her fucking face.”
Hollywood will be calling any day now.
New scene. “Hit us with some of that seductive eye shit.”
God, it’s fucking awful. Horrible. This is not professional. It’s not erotic. It’s not how a movie gets directed. It’s trash. It’s bullshit. It’s a farce. It’s a complete waste of everybody’s time.
Then a few seconds later he says, “It’s pretty seductive.”
Nobody will hire Newt after this. It’s pathetic.
Then he says, “I’ve seen better.”
1:30 = The other prostitute is straddling Fallon. The other prostitute is wearing a sheer top with crosses on the nipples. She spits blood on Fallon’s tits.
That’s it. That’s the video. A little behind the scenes of the “magic” that goes on at Schlock & Awe Industries.
When I was a kid, there was a news story on 60 Minutes or something about a child prodigy who could direct an orchestra. It was an Indian kid, I believe. And they showed footage of him in action and he was just waving that baton.
And I’m watching this, as a 10 year old or however old I was, and I said, “Well, I can do that. All he’s doing is this” and I motioned just waving a baton around. And my parents laughed at how ridiculous this comment was. Of course I can’t be an orchestral conductor.
But I wasn’t too far from the truth. I’m not saying that I’m an expert on orchestras but I was in the school band. The teacher/conductor knew a lot about music and he could play all of the instruments and whatnot but the actual job of conducting was just waving the baton around. When a particular section of the orchestra was due to come in, he would point at them dramatically but they knew when to come in. They were reading the fucking music. They didn’t need the prompt.
I was just reminded of this because if this video is any representation of what it takes to be a director, ANYONE can do this. Anyone can say “cut” and “action”. Anyone can make creepy comments.
Working on another movie that probably won’t go anywhere. Just another grave in Newt’s cemetery of unfinished projects.
Conducting is just waving the baton around. They practice 9000 times. They know what to do. It’s just there for the audience and just I case one in the orchestra zones out for some reason.
Oh my F God. Erin, you can no longer hold the title of the “shittiest video ever”.
Rolling… Yeah, that was what happened decades ago with those old cameras where they actually had to get the film “rolling”. They are using digital cameras now. No need to state “rolling”.
They do need, however, some sort of marker for post-production.
I was going to argue something about the baton waving, something along the lines of “the orchestra director does much more, but it’s mostly off-stage, like setting the mood, instrument tuning, picking the musicians and so on”. But after watching this video, yeah, I get what you are saying. Any dumbass can say “rolling”, “action”, and “cut”, as seen in the movies.
Not a sign of what an actual floor manager would do. What about the lighting, camera angle, actors’ intentions and so on?
This guy is delusional.
I thought your nickname for Bobdunga was “Crazy Bobdunga.”
Oh yeah. That too.
here you go watch this shit!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtryFHT1VRg&t=0s
YouTube made some video with a bunch of “retro” YouTubers. Nearly all of them are shit! Some of these guys, I guess do actually produce nice looking videos, but are still total assholes, or faggots, but they put Zap Crystal in here! and Gebs! Why? JOHN RIGGS is here too and no doubt his channel is abject shit but he has a large following, so it might make sense. But Zap? 6K subs, all of which came from Mr. Wright Way I. There is a girl on here Game Mistress with only 3000! She has made 400+ videos though, hmm….
I saw this in the comments
@DIZZYFP187
Soo Cool to see @zapcristal on this. She’s Definitely the Top Female Gaming Content Creator out there
Holy fucking shit!! Most of the others keep saying “how did they get Caddicarus?” He’s the fag that “hosts” this video. Total D-bag. Um, maybe they asked him and he’s a whore for attention so he did it? Everyone sounds like an autistic spearing in the comments. All the rest are people in the video patting themselves on the back. I could go down the whole list but Lady Decade is also there, why? She is shit. Recycled her husband’s channel. Has never played a game, and looks like she ingested a bowling ball in her Mario skirt outfit.
Gaming Historian, huge fag. Laziest piece of shit on the platform. Nintendrew, actual literal fag, you can see teeth marks his Mario pillow in the background. Completionist, dick head. Pixel game squad, also fags.
Well anyway you get the point. If you’re low on material or just want a 3 minute video to write about have at it.