This has got to the worst AVGN thumbnail of them all. I know that he’s not an attractive guy but come on. This was intentional. They chose the worst possible picture.
It’s like in the Guardian or whatever newspaper that really hates Trump, they’ll always use the worst possible photo of the guy. Like when he’s in mid-sneeze or something. We’re not fucking retarded. We see what you’re doing here. This is childish bullshit. Just present the facts. Like journalists.
0:15 – But first a word from some VPN. He’s going to tell us all about how you can bypass region locks now. We get it, Jimmy. It’s also against the terms and conditions of the services.
I wonder if Jimmy could be held liable if Netflix or whatever terminated your account due to bypassing their region locks? I know that they won’t but I guess that they could. And James Rolfe is here telling you to do it. A good brain-teaser for a first year law student, perhaps.
2:30 – Extended discussion of David Crane, Kaboom, and Pitfall. Mike wrote this shit. It’s obvious.
2:45 – Nice hair, Jimmy. At least he’s foregoing the…whatever the fuck he was doing before. Hair in a can or CGI hair or something.
Maybe he should just draw some hair on. Get a marker and fill it all in. I think that people do that. Not with markers but as a tattoo. I think the idea is that you have to keep your hair basically shaved but at least it looks like you have a full head of stubble.
Also, Mike has fucking played this game before. Not too long ago. And watching this video, I’m being reminded of Mike’s complaints about the game. This is fucking ridiculous. Well, maybe Mike will at least get “help” credit for this one.
17:30 – Shout out to jelly beans being Ronald Reagan’s favourite candy.
I remember this. I remember a third grade teacher talking about this. But it’s a myth. It’s just some Jewish media bullshit.
This is what it’s based on. There was some media event. Just some stupid, staged, hokey bullshit. And one of Reagan’s staff offered some jelly beans to Reagan. The jelly beans were in a jar. They must have been the chosen snack for the event. No big deal.
So Reagan takes some jelly beans and starts eating them. Okay. So?
So then the Jewish media ran with this story and talked about how jelly beans are Ronald Reagan’s favourite candy. Just because they happened to be there at this press event. No. They were just there. I doubt that Reagan requested jelly beans be served.
Why was the Jewish media so invested in this totally ficticious story? I don’t know. Maybe prominent Jews were large shareholders in Jelly Belly.
17:45 – “As a kid, I didn’t know the difference between Ronald Reagan and Ronald McDonald.”
Well, that might be because you’re retarded. Or he’s just too young. Let me think. He was president from 1980 to 1988. So Jimmy would have been six in 1988? Okay, I can understand not remembering him then.
But I remember Ronald Reagan. I remember being puzzled by the term “presidential race”, though. How the fuck did this old man win a race? I pictured it as some kind of epic foot race up a mountain path like in a cartoon or something. Really? This 80 year old man is America’s fastest runner? Well, whatever.
Then, for reasons that aren’t explained, James just gets “angry” for some reason. Oh. That’s…funny stuff.
Credits. Directed and written by James Rolfe. Uh huh. Sure it was.
Edited by Sean O’Rourke. Fuck that guy.
Gameplay by James, Sean, and Mike. Uh huh. I’d like to see the percentage breakdowns here. I’ll say 0% Jimmy, 10% Sean, 90% Mike.
As for the video it was…boring. Boring but not awful. That seems to be what the Sean O’Rourke era of Cinemassacre is all about. The Kieran era was awful. The Sean O’Rourke era is boring. I’m not sure which is worse. For my purposes, awful videos make for better reviews than boring videos.
Let’s see what the homos on Reddit had to say.
Oh, first I have to scroll through ten repetitive “jokes” about “A Boy and his Slob” and it’s pictures of James Rolfe with Justin Silverman. Great. Each one is funnier than the last.
Top comment is “A boy and his slob”. Very original. Good stuff, boys.
- “one of the most boring AVGN episodes yet”
Finally we get to something that isn’t a “meme” or about how James is bald.
- “It’s completely and utterly forgettable. The jokes are unfunny, his line delivery is terrible but it’s not bad enough to actually be memorable. It’s nothing content. No one will remember this episode in a month from now.”
Yeah.
- “
- “My gosh, dude, shave the head or get a wig. Wear the old glasses. A reason why people liked the recent Indiana Jones video was because of 1) bald head was blocked and 2) old glasses be better. I’m not shaming anybody who goes bald. I’ve dealt with it before and started taking propecia, which has helped. But he’s a public figure and it would be so easy to just recapture that nerd look or if anything, do something in your videos that alludes to hair loss.”
Propecia, you say. Let me look this up.
Propecia is a brand name for a drug called Finasteride. You want to know the side-effects?
“Finasteride can cause several sexual side effects, including erectile dysfunction, low sex drive, and difficulty ejaculating. In terms of erectile dysfunction, this is often a temporary, short-term issue that ceases once you stop taking the drug.”
I…oh. So this guy is going on the internet and BOASTING about his impotence.
“Golly gee wilikers, guys. I don’t want to bald-shame anyone but I’ve got a full head of a hair and a limp dick thanks to the fine folk who make Propecia.”
Umm…well…you do you, I guess. But I think that I’d rather be bald.
But it’s only short-term, at least in terms of the erectile dysfunction. So I guess the low sex-drive and difficulty ejaculating is for life. But anyway, once you stop taking the drug, the erectile dysfunction goes away.
Great! So how long do I have to take the drug?
What? Until the day I die? And if I stop, my hair all goes away? Oh, man. This sounds terrible. Now I’ll be bald and have a low sex-drive and difficulty ejaculating.
This is why you need to think about these things before making the decision.
And any hair growth is dubious anyway. The most I ever saw in these claims is that it helps you keep the hair that you have. Really. How do we fucking know that? Total scam. A drug that you have to take from the age of 20 until you die.
Also, I believe that it’s a cream. So you rub this cream on your hands and then you rub it into your scalp. If this stuff actually worked, wouldn’t you be concerned about getting hairy palms?
Oh, Wikipedia talks about what happens when you stop taking the drug.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finasteride
Individuals claiming to experience PFS report sexual, neurological, hormonal and psychological side effects that persist for an extended period after stopping the drug. Reported symptoms include penile atrophy and tissue changes, decreased ejaculate volume and quality, reduced libido, erectile dysfunction, loss of penile sensitivity, decreased orgasm sensation, dry skin, metabolic changes, muscle and strength loss, gynecomastia, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, anhedonia, concentration problems, memory impairment and suicidal ideation
Wait…so my penis will shrink and I’ll grow breasts? And I’ll become suicidal? Well, that seems obvious given the cirucmstances.
And read this guy’s fucking messages. He seems to be pretty effeminate already.
“There’s no shame in getting a hair transplant or a very nice wig. If it makes you feel better it makes you feel better.”
Just put your wig on and jack your limp, atrophied dick off with your bony girl arms, you homo. But personally, I’ll stick to being bald, thanks.
- “did Matei stream this recently?”
He did. Coincidence? No.
What’s adhenia? That was one of the side-effects.
Oh. Reduced ability to experience pleasure. Yeah, that’s a good one too.
Hey, retards, if this stuff worked, nobody would be bald.
I’m doing some more research. Apparently, this stuff blocks DHT, which is some kind of male hormone. And transgenders (guys in dresses) take this drug because they want to be more feminine. Smaller penis, bigger tits, you know how it goes.
Maybe James should take it. I don’t know. It might make the videos more interesting anyway. He’d be there with a full head of hair and a couple of fabulous breasts. “Hey, my dick isn’t working any more but that’s okay. I already have two kids. Now let’s talk about my favourite character from the Mario universe: Birdo.”
The media hated Ronald Reagan because he was an effective leader that the people loved and respected. He was an outsider and could not be controlled. He wanted to defeat the USSR and did. So they made up shit like eating jellybeans everyday to make him look stupid. They said he had Alzheimer’s and all kinds of shit. They called Bush retarded. Trump, literally Hitler. But they sucked Obama’s dick on a daily basis and now there’s Biden who clearly does have Alzheimer’s and they still kiss his ass!
The cosmic irony in a baldness “cure” making your dick fall off makes me laugh. Why else would you care about hair? To get pussy. If you’re married or look good bald and can still get pussy then who cares? Of course I convey that if you are married your pussy days are over so, exactly, who cares anymore.
Hey if a tranny has male pattern baldness what are you supposed to call it? They hate being called men, which is what they are. It’s a mystery!
There was some mid level gaming channel, games we play, I think. Not bad. Pretty ok but one day he snapped and became a tranny. He got a “husband” to fuck him in the ass until his pussy is ready to be made. The whole mental illness revolves around the fantasy of being the woman. Autogynophilia. Anyway this guy went on streak of videos all about Birdo and “trans rights” people said enough of this shit then he doubled down. I guess that’s it.
The jellybeans myth reminds me of the Van Halen brown m and ms thing where according to legend they’d trash the room if they say brown m and ms but it was just a contract rider they used to ensure safety checks were done and they could legally refuse to play because they thought it was unsafe. Not as exciting as what everyone believes.
Reagan did have Alzheimer’s, though, didn’t he? There seems to be some dispute about whether or not he had it while in office. And George W Bush was not an intelligent man. I don’t know about Trump’s policies.
But certainly the double-standard of not calling out the poor behaviour of Democratic Party presidents is obvious.
He died oh Alzheimer’s that’s true. But that was 2005. His funeral procession had a huge turnout and the media were still lying about how nobody liked him.
Yeah I watched the episode. It’s… Fine I guess. As you say, there’s nothing “wrong” with it. But it was the first time I felt, well, old.
I used to relate to James. I mean, that’s usually the reason behind remaining loyal to the channel, right? The content is relatable. Or at least, the character portrait is. I’ve studied this shit, we as humans want to be together with people alike.
I believe this episode has singled handedly made me realize that video games were fine in my pre-teen years. Nostalgia for video games was fine during my thirties. But c’mon, we have to grow someday right? James looked like the old guy in a university bar, everyone young and he just trying to blend in and maybe get lucky. Yeah. Old.
I remember that he uploaded a video basically saying that he is trapped: this is how he makes a living and that, yeah, life changes. We get old. Jokes get old. But what is the alternative? Quit the channel completely and lose the money he would (nevertheless) get out of it?
Reviewing old video games, for a living, seemed like a dream job. Now we all see that, as with any job, it eventually becomes a nightmare.