Erin’s Recent TikTok Output

Erin is still wasting everyone’s time with that “playing every NES game for two minutes” bullshit so let’s check out her TikTok. I haven’t talked about it since this post:

So TikTok. Let’s check it out.

An inexplicable 10,000 views on this one. She got like 250,000 views on some video where she boringly flips through an old JC Penney catalogue so she’s been trying to capitalise on this shit ever since with similar (boring) “content”. It hasn’t been working.

“I recently found a bunch of my old issues of Spin Magazine from when I was in high school.”

Have you done anything since high school, Erin? You’re 35 years old.

I’m a minute in and she’s said “iconic” twice already. For two different things. First, iPod or whatever. That’s “iconic”. Second, the Windows XP background is “iconic.”

Oh sure. Who doesn’t remember the Windows XP background? So “iconic”.

I have no fucking idea what she’s even talking about. I don’t even know if I had Windows XP. No, I don’t think that I did. I had Windows ME and then I skipped to whatever came after that. Vista.

So this must be why this background isn’t “iconic” to me. I just wasn’t living. I wasn’t keeping up to date on default Windows backgrounds.

What was I doing when Windows XP was out? Let’s see…it was 2001. So I would have been…going to that scam graduate school. And then working. I was doing stuff. I wasn’t jacking off to “iconic” Windows backgrounds.

Actually, speaking of jacking off to Windows backgrounds, I remember my Windows background at the time. It was some woman in a pool. I think she was topless. Too bad I don’t have that picture any more. Look at that iconography on that woman. But I was living on my own, like an adult, and it was a novelty to be able to change my Windows background to something pornographic.

By the way, all that Erin is doing is showing the fucking ads. WHAT’S THE POINT? She could have shown ANY magazine and the ads would have been pretty much the same. When you’re looking through Spin magazine, isn’t the idea to look at the articles? See what people were talking about in the 2001 popular music scene?

No, this fucking moron is just showing “iconic” ads, which clearly are not “iconic”.

1:30 – She’s actually looking at an article now. It’s about file sharing. Bizarre pronunciation of Kazaa and Limewire. EVEN “LIMEWIRE” was pronounced oddly.

So she talks about the demise of record stores. Her one fucking job in her life. Working in a record store.

2:00 – “So this made me laugh. This is a commercial for the N-Gage.”

It’s an ad, Erin. Commercials are on television. But stop looking at the fucking ad, you complete cretin.

And then she talks about the N-Gage and she obviously has NO IDEA what it is. “It even had games”. NO SHIT, YOU DUMB BITCH! IT WAS A GAMING DEVICE!

2:30 – Erin says that she was “obsessed” with Homestar Runner. Whatever that is. Some Flash cartoon, apparently.

“And finally, the RCA Lyra. Don’t remember it!”

Wow. You really went out on a high, Erin.

Fucking retard.

@erinplays87

What was happening in 2005? Lets look at this issue of SPIN magazine! #indiesleaze #interpol #millennial #nostalgia

♬ Evil – Interpol

Here’s another issue of Spin. From 2005 this time. This video only got 500 views. So a real climb down. People must have realised that there’s nothing REMOTELY interesting about these videos.

“So I think that this was when McGriddles were new. Ha!”

Great commentary, Erin. She’s just showing the ads again. Here’s the “iconic” McGriddle. Do you have anything to say about McGriddles, Erin? No. Of course not. She’s never eaten a McGriddle in her life. Nor have I. I was off doing shit. Shit that doesn’t involve the McDonald’s corporation.

“Ooh, and ad for…Super Monkey…Ball…Deluxe. I’m horrible at that game but I like it.”

She’s never played it. Or if she did it was only briefly, on stream, for money during a “variety stream”.

0:15 – An advertisement for Coachella. Then she just reads the names of all the bands who are scheduled to appear. THIS IS BORING AS FUCK, ERIN! DON’T YOU GET IT? GROW A PERSONALITY!

0:30 – “Remember when Drew Barrymore was dating Fabrizio from The Strokes?”

No, Erin. None of this shit was on my radar.

0:45 – “Finally an ad for Napster. Remember when it was a monthly…uhhh…subscription? I don’t know anyone who had but it good on them for…uhh…trying to keep it…uhh…legal. (nervous laugh).”

So she ended on a high note again.

0:00 – “So this 2002 issue of Spin is going to be a doozy.”

Oh. I can not wait. What doozerific ads is she going to show this time and then say that she didn’t have the item in question or doesn’t remember it?

Erin…show the fucking articles. Show the pictures. It’s a magazine about music. You’re interested in music, right? Are you? Demonstrate your fucking knowledge and passion about music.

No. It’s just the fucking ads. She’s a moron. Why does she make these aggressively bad videos? She must know that these are awful.

So she starts with a PS2 ad. Great stuff, Erin. Tell us all of your experiences with the PS2.

0:30 – “Want a real blast from the…past? Do you remember Truth? I forgot about Truth.”

WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? WHAT THE FUCK IS “TRUTH”?

I mean, as a concept I’ll agree entirely that Erin has absolutely no familiarity with truth. But she’s talking about…something. I don’t know. Something that she can’t remember. Was it a band? What the fuck is this?

0:45 – “Does anyone remember the Emo Game. It was a Flash game that you can play online and nobody remembers it. I remember it. I used to play it so much. You used to be able to play as (some faggot) and (some other faggot) I think as the enemy. It’s great.”

Great story, Erin. You’re a real “gamer”. She was just sitting at home playing the Emo Game all day.

Do a stream on The Emo Game. It must still exist. I know that Flash is gone but there was some project to download every Flash game and you could play them using some software. I downloaded it but then I quickly lost interest. Oh. Flashpoint.

https://flashpointarchive.org/

And Emo Game is in the database. And Emo Game 2.5 too. So there you go. I just gave Erin an idea for her next video. The Emo Game. Play it once, for a Youtube video, and then never again.

1:15 – Now she’s just reading a long list of bands again. She must be legitimately retarded. Any normal-functioning person knows that this is boring as fuck.

Then she ends the video in another boring as fuck fashion which is so boring that I won’t even describe it.

Thank fuck we’re on the last one. Another copy of Spin, this time from 2003.

0:15 – She’s reading a list of bands again. Hello, autism.

“If you’re over the age of 30, you probably remember the OC.”

No, Erin. I don’t. I have a vague recollection that it was a tv show but my knowledge ends there. Let me look this up.

A teen drama that ran from 2003 to 2007. So…I don’t remember it. I wasn’t a teenager in 2003 to 2007. I doubt that anyone older than me remembers it. So it’s not really about being over 30, is it? It’s about being in a very specific, narrow age range when the show was first broadcast.

1:15 – She’s reading more band names. Do you have anything to say about these bands? ANYONE can just read the names?

1:30 – “I totally remember this article. Oh my gosh. Cameras.”

That’s how she ends the video. By stating that she remembers reading this article and that cameras exist. It’s unbelievable. This is the least charismatic person on the planet.

When was this uploaded? Late June. So it’s possible that she’s still planning on continuing with these videos. These videos are unbelievably bad.

Why are her parents not begging her to do something with her life? They must have seen her videos. And she’s visiting these people twice a month. Why don’t they tell her to get her fucking shit together and start doing something with her life? Why would they enable this self-destuctive behaviour? This is their only child. Don’t they care?

She’s been doing this for YEARS. Six years at this point. Why don’t her parents say, “You gave it a shot. It didn’t work out. It’s okay. Let us help you find a job.” What’s so terrible about that? Then they can just email her interesting jobs that they find from whatever job sites. It’s called parenting.

No. Just keep making these horrendous videos and giving up your ass to the proprietor of Manbaby Gaming in exchange for $6,000/year. This is what every parent wants for their children.

11 thoughts on “Erin’s Recent TikTok Output

  1. I hate the word iconic. Hate it! I first noticed it when I read some article about AirPods and the writer said the case makes “the iconic snap.”
    What? What does that mean? It’s a just a word Gen Y assholes overdue to death. Like groovy in the 60s. It means nothing. Replace every time she says iconic with groovy and it’ll just sound like she’s from the 60s. And I really hate anyone from Gen Y. They are all so smug and goddamned self important. The internet just makes it a million times worse. They’re so up their ass they stole the name of the next generation millennials and use it for themselves. “Hi I’m a millennial! Millennium referring to the year 2000! When was I born? 1982.” Gen Y went from 1980-1995 and millennials 1996-2010. Ah whatever nobody cares or understands.

    I was so happy when illegal downloads destroyed the CD industry. They promised us that after the format was adopted the price would come down. CDs started at $15-17 and never ever came down. Maybe some were 13 to clear it out but they were supposed to be under $10 like records but it never happened so good. Fuck em. But I hated Napster. The dick-licker who invented the thing, Shawn something, was interviewed everywhere like he was some genius. I couldn’t stand him. Total mook with that retarded hat. I’m probably bitter too because kids born in 1987. Or is it 86? Never had to drop a 20 to get a CD then it turns out to be shit. And you can’t return it because you could easily copy it to tape and get the music for free, so you were just stuck with it.

    1. I was watching an episode of Where in the World is Carmen San Diego or Legends of the Hidden Temple or something a year or two ago. I have no idea why. Actually, I think it was for the blog. But anyway, one of the prizes, if I’m remembering rightly, was a CD player that also had a tape recorder. Presumably, the point of this device was to make bootleg tapes of the CDs.

      I never heard of anyone doing this but I wasn’t into music. And surely by the time I was in high school, tapes were no longer being sold.

      1. It was just a way to add functionality so you could upgrade to CDs and keep your tapes but yea it meant you could copy anything easily. In the early early days CD rentals were common until the RIAA lobbied to make it illegal. There was also a push in the 80s led by Frank Zappa of all people to tax blank tapes to the point that they cost as much as an album to offset the cost of piracy.

  2. God, she is desperate.
    Just get an Onlyfans account or porn career while you still have some youth left Erin.

  3. So, she has briefly abandoned her nostalgia for the 1980s and 1990s for… the early 2000s, when she was, according to her, in high school? It’s hard to keep up with her actual age and the times she actually lived through, she is just constantly lying about things she “remembers”.

    1. Yeah, Mike’s played it many times on stream, for money. And presumably plays it in his spare time too. That’s how she knows the game. It’s the only way she knows the game.

  4. Erin Plays would easily translate to OnlyFans. I think she would make double the money she makes on Tik Tok and YouTube. Even if she just did lingerie and softcofe stuff. The Power Pad video is proof and that was only her pale dead feet

      1. I just have to image she’s a boring-ass lay, but even so, I wouldn’t mind tuning in at least once if she does some solo butt-stuff.

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