A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors is a Fan Favorite – Tony from Hack the Movies

So we’ve got Tony, this anti-abortion religious nut, and Jessica the world’s longest-standing intern. I’m pretty sure that this is the first appearance of Jessica post-Tony leaving Screenwave. I think that it’s also the first time that this anti-abortion Jesus nut has appeared on the show post-Tony leaving Screenwave.

But is Jessica still at Screenwave in some capacity? We don’t know.

Tony says that Jessica is now on something called “Creep Off” and Jessica says, “And ASE Presents now.”

By the way, she refers to herself as “Jess”, not “Jessica” but I don’t want to go back and edit everything. But…wait. Really? Does she mean that she appears in ASE videos or just that she edits them or something?

I’m not seeing Jess in any of the thumbnails or from a quick scan of some of the videos. I’m only seeing Mint Salad, the autistic woman who’s getting pimped out by her fat hillbilly boyfriend.

So I’m thinking that she’s just editing the videos. Maybe she did leave Screenwave then. So she’s editing videos for something called Creep Off and also ASE Presents. God, what a way to make money. Just get a job in a dentists’ office or something. They need receptionists. You’ll make more money and it won’t be as fucking vile as editing videos for an autistic woman who’s being sex trafficked.

3:00 – Tony starts talking about Mint Salad. Eugh. It’s just so sleazy. They know that she’s being trafficked. Everybody does. Why do they support this? And it’s not just Tony. Horseface supports this. Jess supports this. It’s gross. What’s wrong with these people?

4:45 – This Jesus nut says that Arnold Schwarzenegger is “having a great month.” I’ve looked it up. I don’t know what she’s talking about. I suspect she just…likes Republicans? It’s all connected to her anti-abortion shit.

I don’t particularly care about abortion one way or the other but it’s unfortunate that so many of these dimwits have a view on abortion and that dictates their political beliefs. So the Republican party doesn’t represent this unemployed Casey woman AT ALL. They have no interest in her. They view her as cattle. But because abortion is used as a political issue in the US, they’ve captured her. She supports Republicans, she identifies as a Republican, solely because of this abortion issue. Never mind the fact that every piece of legislation produced by the Republican party is trying to erode her rights and bring back chattle slavery.

For clarity, I’m not saying that Democrats are any better. They’re worse. Republicans are fairly upfront about being a party for the wealthy elite. But the Democrats, who are also a party for the wealthy elite, try to diguise it. They pretend to be a friend to the working man. Or in Casey’s case, the unemployed woman. At least I can appreciate the Republican Party’s relative honesty.

Okay, I’m skipping to the end. I’m sorry. I have ZERO interest in this. Casey is awful. Jess is awful. Tony is just summarising the fucking movie. And I have no interest whatsoever in the movie. I’m an adult. An adult in 2023. I don’t care about movies from the 1980s that were geared to derranged adolescent boys.

1:15:15 – Tony starts talking about Mint Salad. Some stupid joke. Casey and Jess play along with this and talk about how kooky Mint Salad is. Reminder: she’s an autistic orphan who’s getting pimped out by her fat hillbilly boyfriend.

1:15:45 – Then there’s footage of Mint Salad in some kind of PVC superhero outfit. She’s all hanging out of it. It’s not attractive.

She then, eventually, stumbles through her words and challenges Tony to a wrestling match. Can this get much sleazier?

Jess says that Mint Salad is “beautiful and bad.” Reminder: she’s an autistic orphan who’s getting pimped out by her fat hillbilly boyfriend.

Then Casey starts promoting her scam e-books and shit. God fucking damn it. What did Jesus say about scamming people? He was probably against it, right?

“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”

– Matthew 6:24

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

– Colossians 3:1-5

“Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be full of gravel.”

– Proverbs 20:17

Just another fucking charlatan using Jesus of Nazareth to con people and enrich herself. It’s right there in Matthew 7:15.

2 thoughts on “A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors is a Fan Favorite – Tony from Hack the Movies

  1. The majority of his reviews now being insufferable personality or actual mental problems female guests is pretty wild. It’s also not subtle at all why he’s desperately doing it. He’s an incredibly predictable douchebag.

    Shoehorning in mintsalad all the time seems to have been taken to new levels since he left Screenwave, and she’s just painful to listen to. I feel sorry for her as well. Her life could have gone places a lot different than this if she surrounded herself with people who weren’t fucked in the head or using her so obviously. She can’t possibly see people noticing it all and not think about it late at night knowing she lacks the willpower to escape it also.

    Also it still to this day boggles the mind how people who claim to be so openly LGBT supposedly can stand being around Casey. On social media she’s like a minute away from saying you’re all heathens.

    1. It is overwhelmingly women on the show now that you say it. And the best episodes are the ones with guys. Not sexy Frank, really, I don’t care much for him, but that fat Cuban guy was pretty good, as were Justin and Kieran, and even the non-gay Movie Dumpster guy was okay.

      The women are all duds. The only one who I think might have been marginally okay was sexy Frank’s sexy sister. She hasn’t been on in a while.

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