Gamer Girls

Oh, John Riggs is in England now. Trolling for booty. Do the kids still say that? Is that even the expression? Is it “trawling for booty?” Maybe in John Riggs’ case it’s trawling. He’s trawling the deep sea for 300 pound, purple-haired fish with no standards.

Oh, according to the description, it’s the first time that old John Riggs has been abroad. That’s nice then. He decided to go to Norwich. The jewel of England. The description continues, “Here’s what I saw, what I ate and what I grabbed as I was looking for those PAL exclusives.”. We all need to know what John Riggs is eating. And I suspect that he’s going to be eating A LOT in this video. The man can’t stop eating. Just look at him if you need any proof. He’s going to be so disappointed with the portion sizes in these restaurants.

Wow. John Riggs is also on Cameo. WHO THE FUCK WOULD PAY $15 FOR A JOHN RIGGS CAMEO?

But let’s just focus on the trip. This is John Riggs going to Norwich for some bizarre reason. He must know somebody there. Presumably a woman with purple hair. Why else would somebody go to Norwich? Why would he choose Norwich as his first trip abroad?

0:30 – He says that he’s drinking Pepsi for breakfast. He sure enjoys sugary beverages. And yeah. Pepsi. That’s what you want when you’re on vacation in the UK. You want to try the British take on Pepsi.

He says that it tastes better. It very well may do. I don’t think that it’s the exact same recipe. Are they still using high fructose corn syrup in the US? Because they don’t do that Frankestein shit anywhere else. They use sugar in the rest of the world.

Also, British Snickers taste much better than the American Snickers. I’m thinking for the same reason. High fructose corn syrup. But it’s a noticeably different taste.

But anyway, why wouldn’t you try a local beverage? Why fucking Pepsi?

Oh, I should have mentioned that John Riggs is at a nerd convention. That’s what this video is going to be about. And food. Mostly food, I’m guessing.

3:15 – Eugh. Here’s a collab nobody wanted. John Riggs and TheGebs24. She’s fucking awful. She probably made her own video of this nerd convention where she just complained about the prices. Then she went back to her tiny hovel and had sex with her 400 pound American wife.

And behind her, there’s a blue haired woman. Not quite purple.

3:45 – And then fucking horrendous Slopes Game Room. “‘Ello, guv’nor!”. No. I’m turning it off. I don’t think that I ever got past the intro to any of his videos.

There’s a 300 pound woman behind him.

4:15 – A guy in his late 40s, I’d guess, with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tattoo. He’s completely indecipherable.

5:15 – Now some food. What the fuck? It’s a tiny sausage on a tiny piece of bread. John Riggs must be livid. “It’s their version of a sausage roll” and then he says that he got it from a South African food vendor outside.

Sausage rolls are a common thing in the UK. I don’t think that the food particularly exists in the US. It’s a fucking pureed sausage type paste incased in bread. Not this. Not what John Riggs was showing.

9:00 – Now he’s shilling some other scam. John Riggs LOVES shilling for scams. He’s completely shameless. He was shilling for a company that sells shares in fucking old Air Jordans. It’s disgusting. And people call him out for this shit and he just says, “Well, it’s up to you to do your research.” How about not shilling for obvious scams, you fat fucking piece of shit?

14:30 – Now John Riggs is looking for food. Just at some food trucks outside. He’s back at that South African truck.

He didn’t even show us what he fucking ate. Presumably everything.

20:00 – He’s at some…I guess the cafeteria at this nerd convention.

20:45 – Ha. There are three tiny meat pies on his plate. It’s fucking hilarious. There are also maybe 20 fries and half a cup of peas.

Oh. He also ordered fish and chips. So he ordered two meals. Now it’s starting to make sense. One meal would not be sufficient for this mastodon. Not with these portions.

21:45 – It’s the next day. He shows a sausage roll that TheGebs24 got for him. So…I assume that he’s staying with this woman. And her 400 pound wife. Weird but John Riggs is married too. Maybe these are all open relationships. And you’d have to be REALLY open to do anything with John Riggs.

But anyway, yeah, this is what a sausage roll looks like. She presumably got this from Greggs, which is a…food chain of some description. Their main product is sausage rolls. They also sell…I don’t know…bread and dougnuts and shit. Actually, I think that they discontinued the bread a few years ago. But yeah, these sausage rolls taste of nothing. It’s a weird paste of meat encased in bread. But they’re popular for whatever inexpliable reason. Because they’re cheap, I guess.

25:30 – Some fucking gay man is drinking a 7-Up. I’ve never seen a 7-Up in the UK. I don’t really browse the soda section of the grocery store but still. It’s interesting. Maybe he got it from an import store for like £5 in order to impress John Riggs.

27:00 – John Riggs is amazed by a black currant Capri Sun. I’ve never seen a Capri Sun in the UK either but, again, I’m not going to the children’s beverage section of the grocery store. But yeah, black currant is a common flavour in the UK. And it sucks penis.

28:15 – John Riggs is eating a Dumle chocolate that was given to him by some Swedish guy. John Riggs asks if it’s the most popular chocolate in Sweden. The Swedish guy says, “One of the most popular.”

Dumle is made by Fazer, which is a Finnish company. I don’t expect John Riggs to know this but how the fuck did that Swedish guy apparently not know this? Why is he giving Finnish chocolate at his booth? There must be Swedish chocolate.

So that’s the video. Surprisingly sparse on the food. Also, not seen in this video: John Riggs’ long-suffering wife and children.

Good that he travelled…I guess. Even though it was to Norwich. For a nerd convention. And he was just there looking for ass.