Retro Ali Only Streams as an Animated Anime Girl Now

I believe that the above video is the last time that Retro Ali streamed as a human being. This was seven months ago.

Here’s how she’s been streaming ever since:

What the fuck? She’s gained weight. That’s why she streams as an anime character now. But it’s ridiculous.

There’s basically two sensible options here:

  1. Lose weight
  2. Stream as you are

She doesn’t even look that overweight in that last live video. Not in the tiny Twitch window, anyway.

This is also why she stopped making Youtube videos. She became self-conscious because she gained weight. The horntards weren’t interested in seeing a chubby woman make the “O” face over mundane video game commercials any more.

Anime girl is not the answer to weight gain.

Let me look this up. I know that this phenomenon exists but…are people actually watching this? They’re not watching Retro Ali’s videos. That’s for sure. Her videos get about 15 views on average.

Ironmouse. I guess she’s popular. I watched about ten seconds of a stream before I had to turn it off. I can’t find out what the woman actually looks like, though. Can’t be a looker.

Who the fuck would watch somebody with an anime avatar playing a video game? Just turn the avatar off. I can understand that. Just show the fucking gameplay. And talk over it. But why an anime avatar?

Let’s check out her Twitter. It’s just going to be all video game shit.

There’s her schedule. She plays Pokemon every day except Tuesday at 7.00. If you lose some weight, you might be able to get a boyfriend, Ali. Actually, even without the weight loss you can get a boyfriend. I used to see countless fat chicks on Tinder with a laundry list of what they’re looking for in a man. You need to be over 6’2″, you need to make at least Β£100,000/year, you need to bench press your body weight.

What? To date a fat chick? Fuck off. But these women were getting inundated with responses. That’s why they had to implement these minimum requirements. I hate to think how many matches an actual hot chick must be getting. Every time she opens it up, she must have a thousand new matches.

Here’s Ali doing a “vtuber collab”. Just go on a fucking diet, Ali. This is embarassing.

And yeah, it’s just constant fucking Pokemon shit on her Twitter. She’s talking about her boring as fuck streams. Not a single mention of anything even remotely personal.

It’s boring. She’s a boring person.

Let’s check out Horseface, I guess.

Oh, she created a Hive accounted. Erin also did that recently. They’re never going to use this shit. They’re just paranoid about losing their microscopic fanbases. But we know where to find these people anyway. At least Erin. She’s on fucking Youtube. She’s on Twitch. And you can find Horseface in every third episode of Hack the Movies. And Fansly. And Instagram.

Here’s Horseface making a face that anime nerds like for “Thirsty Thursday.” Wait…I’m supposed to be sexually excited by this? Let me check.

No. Totally flacid.

But for whatever bizarre reason, the anime nerds do ask women to make this face where they cross their eyes and stick their tongues out. I think it’s a face that girls in anime make fairly often. So…they get off to this. I guess.

Are they getting off to Horseface, though? It’s baffling.

Oh my god. Kris Glavin is back. He says, “God you are so adorable and cute hunny happy Monday gorgeous hope you have a great week ahead.”

Well, that’s a relief. In one respect, anyway. I mean, I’m glad that he’s alive but it’s depressing that he’s still wasting his life on these homely internet sluts.

Oh, and then he says, “Smokeshow stunningly beautiful young lady”


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