Sorry that I missed the past two days. I has some personal errands. But I’m back, ready to enjoy some Erin Plays goodness.
7:00 –
Mike: You know what I like about this game? It’s got a lot of brown bricks.
Erin: (pauses for about two full seconds…then finally gets the joke) It does, doesn’t it?
Good stuff, Erin. You’re oozing charisma.
Erin: What is it with Bugs and Brown Bricks? It’s almost like there’s a connection. I don’t know what, though.
Nor does Mike. Nor does the audience. What the fuck is she talking about? More negative charisma, mindless bullshit.
7:45 –
Mike: Hey Lola!
Erin: Yeah?
Mike: What’s up, Doc?
Erin: What’s up? Nothing. I don’t know. Ahhh.
Could this be any worse? She doesn’t even recognise this as Bugs Bunny’s catchphrase. She’s never heard this before. She’s never seen a single Bugs Bunny cartoon.
But even if that’s the case…wouldn’t you still pick this up as part of the general American culture? Doesn’t every American know that Bugs Bunny’s catchphrase is “What’s up, Doc?” Even if they’ve somehow managed to go their entire lives without seeing a Bugs Bunny cartoon?
Erin doesn’t know it.
Mike: I like your ears there, Lola.
Erin: Thank you, Bugs.
That’s it. She can’t contribute AT ALL to any conversation. She’s a fucking moron.
Erin: Your ear…it’s really intense when I have your face just looking me in the eye.
She’s awful. Horrendous. And she thinks that she’s going to make money out of this. Out of what? Her sparkling wit and charm? Her personality? She has no wit, no charm, and no personality. Worse than that. Negative everything.
8:00 – Then Mike tries to salvage this complete disaster yet again. And we’re only eight minutes in.
Mike: I’ve got a joke for you.
Erin: What’s the joke?
Mike: What’s up, Doc?
Erin: What?
Mike: What?
Erin: What’s up?
Mike: What’s up, Doc?
Erin: What?
Mike: Isn’t that a good joke?
Erin: I don’t get it.
Mike: I don’t get it either.
Erin: Do people like that joke when you tell it?
Mike: No.
Erin: Then why do you tell it?
It’s so fucking bad. It’s like she’s a fucking zombie.
8:30 – Mike is sick of doing 100% of the work in this conversation so he puts this fucking mindless zombie to task.
Mike: Do you have any jokes?
Erin: Ummmmm….
Mike: You can’t go criticising my jokes if you don’t have your own jokes.
Erin: You know what, that’s very fair. That’s very fair.
Is she on fucking drugs? She seems stupid even by her usual rock bottom standards. She can’t contribute AT ALL. To ANYTHING.
8:45 – Mike encourages Erin to continue to play the game because he knows that this conversation is going absolutely nowhere. Erin then says, “Oh my god. It’s Marvin the Martian.”
How does she know the name? She must have played a Marvin the Martian game recently, on stream, for money.
“I like him. He’s funny.”
Give us an example of Marvin the Martian’s humour. Do you remember anything that he’s ever said? Or any plots from cartoons that he was in? Can you give us anything at all?
No. Because she’s never seen a single Marvin the Martian cartoon in her life. She’s making all of this up. And these are terrible, terrible lies. It’s just generic bullshit all of the time.
9:00 – Hold the phone. We’re getting a “memory”, although not actually of the cartoon. “I remember the Warner Store used to exist in malls and when I was little I liked to go into the spaceship and then you could press buttons and different clips from the cartoons would play.”
Well…okay. So did you do that, Erin? Or did you just want to? Maybe this is her only exposure to the cartoon. The clips that she would see at the Warner Store. And she said “Warner Store”, right? Yeah. Is that right? Not Warner Bros Store? Let me check.
Yeah. It was the Warner Bros Store. Erin is a moron who doesn’t know anything.
9:30 – A horntard asks about Michael Jordan and Space Jam. Mike changes the subject and says that Michael Jordan also appeared in a recent Erin Plays video. He goes on to say, “I watch all of Erin Play’s videos.”
Then, rather than trying to contribute to this conversation at all, Erin changes the subject. She talks about the game that she’s playing. And how bad she’s doing at it.
9:45 – Mike tries to save this shit YET AGAIN.
Mike: I’m her biggest fan.
Erin: Really? I didn’t know that you liked her stuff so much.
Mike: Yes.
Erin: Well, that’s great.
She’s fucking awful. Completely incapable of having a conversation.
10:15 – She awkwardly name-checks Gossamer. She wants you to know that she knows the character’s name. But it’s only because she must have done a stream or something that had this character in it recently. She doesn’t know any of this shit. She’s never seen any of the cartoons.
10:30 – Then Mike starts talking about Peter Lorre. Erin says, “Ew, I don’t like Peter Lorre.”
I’m not sure if she even knows who it is. I certainly didn’t. Who the fuck is talking about Peter Lorre? But I suspect that Mike recently made Erin watch some movie or something that has Peter Lorre in it.
10:45 – Erin ignores Mike, because she can’t have a conversation, and then she reads the chat. “Roger Rabbit? Roger Rabbit’s not here.”
It’s horrible. What the fuck? Why would she even bother to read the comment if she has nothing to say about it? She doesn’t even know who Roger Rabbit is. Maybe the person was making a Roger Rabbit comment because Crazy Castle was originally a Roger Rabbit game. Erin doesn’t know any of this, despite the fact that she “loves” this game.
Oh, then Mike has to try to save this bullshit again.
Mike: Wasn’t this game based on Roger Rabbit?
Erin: Yeah. Originally, this was on the Famicom Disc System, I believe, and it was Roger Rabbit.
And yet, earlier in the stream, Erin was surprised to see hearts as a collectible item. Even though hearts were the collectible item in the Famicom version of this game, which had Roger Rabbit in it.
She “loves” the game.
12:15 – Mike was making some Inspector Gadget and iPad references. Erin didn’t contribute to the conversation at all. Of course. Then Mike asks if there are any good iPad games that he could try.
What the fuck do you think, Mike? Erin doesn’t know any fucking games.
But let’s find out. I paused at Erin saying, “ummm.”
Erin: “This is all you need.”
That’s what she managed to say. Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle ISN’T ON THE IPAD YOU FUCKING RETARD.
God, it’s fucking unbelievable. How does Mike put up with this? I’m 12 minutes into this video, I’ve been watching it over the course of two days, and I can turn it off whenever I want.
Mike has to listen to this fucking retard give her generic, idiotic answers to everything ALL FUCKING DAY. FOR YEARS! And he can’t turn it off. He’s listening to this complete airhead, who’s never seen or done anything in her entire life, every god-forsaken day of his life.
12:30 – After Erin repeatedly dies, there’s the following “conversation”:
Mike: I’ve got a good tip for you.
Erin: What?
Mike: Get good, bro.
Erin: Mmm.
Mike: That’s what they say.
Erin: I know.
Mike: Have you heard of John Cena?
Erin: Yes.
(short pause as Mike basically gives up)
Erin: Have you…uhhhh….have you ever met John Cena?
What kind of questions are these? Just generic bullshit. You want to say something about fucking wrestling, maybe? No. Because she doesn’t know that John Cena is a wrestler. She doesn’t know who John Cena is. She has no fucking idea.
13:00 – Erin, finally, manages to kill Gossamer. You know what she says? You’ll never guess.
“Oh look at him when he dies! He looks cute!”
She’s a complete and total idiot. Look at this fucking John Cena conversation. “Have you heard of John Cena. Yes. Have you been to his house? No.”
What is this? This is not a conversation. This is not entertaining. This is complete and utter dogshit.
And Erin is absolutely god awful at this game. She’s struggling on like the third level. She’s struggled on every level.
She “loves” the game.
14:00 – She’s reading from the chat. “Did the hacker make these sprites? I assume so.”
Well, they’re not the same sprites as in the actual game, are they, Erin? You know what the sprites in the original game look like, right, Erin? You’re a big Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle fan, after all. You “love” the game.
14:15 –
Mike: Do I smell at all? Am I a stinker?
(Erin smells Mike)
Erin: A little bit.
Erin didn’t get the reference. She doesn’t even know who Bugs Bunny is. She’s looking at Mike and thinking, “Why the fuck is this guy in a rabbit suit? I don’t get it.” And then she just gives generic answers to everything hoping that we don’t notice that she has no fucking idea who Bugs Bunny is.
So that’s another seven minutes of this bullshit. So we’re on track. Only 14 more articles on this video to go.