Crystal Quin "Always" "Forgets" about Lowe's Free Scrap Wood

“Why do I always forget about Lowes free scrap wood???? Reminding those that need it or didn’t know it existed.”

What the fuck does she need scrap wood for?  And I don’t think that this is some kind of official program that Lowe’s wants advertised.  It’s just something that her local Lowe’s does to appease the homeless.  “Here.  Take your scrap wood and get the fuck out.”

Let me look this up.  Is there actually an official program to get rid of scrap wood?

Certainly not according to this Lowe’s employee.  He, rightly, gives it to these fucking hobos who are begging for wood.  WHO BEGS FOR WOOD?  Well, maybe they need something to burn in their trashcans to keep warm.

I see absolutely no mention, anywhere on the internet, that Lowes gives away scrap wood for free.  What I do see are a lot of thread from beggars asking if Lowe’s or Home Depot or whatever do this, and the responses that they’re getting is always, “No.  They throw their scrap wood away.”

I’m reminded of a story I heard in high school.  I knew a guy who worked at Dunkin Donuts.  He was a classmate.  And he said that his store used to throw out the old doughnuts but then the manager found out that homeless people were taking the doughnuts from the trash and eating them.  So the manager told everyone to cut all of the doughnuts up and soak them in water before throwing them out.  

This is the same thing that Horseface is doing.  She’s going through her local Lowe’s dumpster for free shit.  And encouraging other people to do it despite the fact that there’s no fucking policy from Lowe’s to give scrap wood away for free.  That’s just her local store being “kind”.  The manager of her local Lowe’s obviously wants to have sex with Horseface, as everybody does, and is allowing her to take free scrap wood in an effort to get a date out of this.

What that Lowe’s needs to start doing is running this scrap wood through a wood chipper and pouring water all over it before throwing it away.  That would keep fucking hobos like Horseface away from the store.

By the way, of course it’s disgusting that this Dunkin Donuts ruined the doughnuts before throwing them out.  Even the guy who told the story knew that it was the wrong thing to do.

I have a vague childhood memory of seeing a sign for “free palettes”.  We would drive by this sign regularly.  I didn’t know what it was at the time but it was obviously some kind of industrial site and they used palettes a lot and they would give away the ones that were getting worn.  Homeless people and the like would take them off their hands.  It probably cost money to recycle them or whatever so it’s just cheaper to give them away.

I can understand people wanting scrap wood for art projects or whatever but how many people are doing art projects that require scrap wood?  The vast majority of people looking for free scrap wood must be the homeless and they’re using it for firewood.  What else can it be?  How many people need scrap wood?  There must be way more supply than demand.

Anyway, Kris Glavin didn’t reply to that tweet.  Can you blame him?  He’s not into fucking…what’s another word for “hobo”?  Ha.  “Tramp”.  Well, that applies to Horseface in two ways now.

What else has old Horseface been up to?  I mean…god, isn’t it fucking embarrassing going up to an employee of Lowe’s and asking for free scrap wood?  They’ve got other stuff to do.  They have to attend to PAYING customers.  They don’t want to deal with fucking bums.

Oh, her Fansly comments are public.  That’s odd.  She’ll probably hide comments now that I’m writing about it.

“Fall is here! What kind of sexy Halloween cosplay should I do?”

– “Something that shows off your feet”

Uh huh.  I don’t get that but…there’s loads that I don’t understand about people’s attraction to Horseface.  To each their own, I guess.

Somebody wants Elvira.  Horseface doesn’t have tits.

Cammy from Street Fighter.  I…is that character even particularly sexy?  

Here’s a vote for Underworld.  What even is that?  

Oh.  Some game from 20 years ago about vampires and shit.

– “Janine but the Real Ghostbusters version.”

Why does he specify the cartoon version?  Didn’t the woman in the movie look pretty similar to the cartoon version?  

Yeah.  And the cartoon version is based on the character in the movie, of course.  

He wants bright red hair, I guess.  That’s his thing.  Regular auburn doesn’t work for him.

– “The Blob! But a sexy blob! lol. Sorry just trolling.”

That would be a good suggestion for Johanna’s Fansly.

And I don’t like making comments like this.  I really don’t.  But this woman is presenting herself as a sex symbol.  Come on.  250 pound Johanna?  Fuck off.  Only the completely deranged are going to pay for that shit.

– “As you look great as dc girls,id go for michelle pfeiffer catwoman :)”

Uh huh.  This was a big fetish thirty years ago.  The Catwoman costume from Batman Returns.  This guy is still stuck on this.

– “Naked jigsaw”

Isn’t the character a guy?  Yeah.  Well…Horseface does look pretty masculine.  Maybe she could pull it off.

Here’s a vote for Frankenhooker.  I think that this is another character from 30+ years ago.  

Yeah.  You can tell the age of these people by what their fetishes are.  The earliest stuff that you jerk off to stays with you for your whole life.  If there were any 80 year olds on Horseface’s Fansly, they’d be asking her to dress up as Sophia Loren from “Era lui, si! si!” and Calamity Jane and shit like that.  

– “Sexy guy from basket case”

Another vote from the homosexual community.  Why are so many gay men attracted to Horseface?  I think that we know the answer.

– “Sexy krueger? Sexy Carrie (after she gets covered in blood and goes mental)”

What about the period scene?  If you’re going to be a creep, go all out.  And she’s asking.  She’s asking the horntards, “What degenerate tits and gore shit should I dress up as?”  So period scene Carrie.  With real blood.  We can wait.  

Anyway, hopefully this Fansly thing works out for Horseface so that she can start just buying the wood instead of begging for it.  It’s only like ten bucks for a big fucking piece of lumber.  

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