Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmRGrZsDxq8

Oh, we’ve got Horseface McGee and Kirk Douglas.  Probably my least favourite pairing.  

And how the fuck is Horseface going to talk about hot chicks?  They’re talking about cartoons.  Well, I’m sure she’ll find a way.

0:30 – But first a word from our scam sponsor.

Get some integrity.

2:30 – Tony says, “I see you’ve got the Batgirl shirt on” and then Horseface shakes her tits.  And she’s wearing half a top.  And Tab Hunter really gets excited by this.

Well…it seems that Horseface didn’t learn anything from her recent experience here on the blog.  Same old narcissistic behaviour.

Maybe this was filmed before she left that comment, though.  Maybe going forward she’s going to be more humble and wear an entire top.  

Anyway, then Horseface starts flirting with Pat Boone over here.

Is Pat Boone even alive any more?  Holy shit.  He is.  I remember his weird attempt at contemporary music in “the 90s”.

10:15 – Well, she did it.  First comment that Horseface made is talking about a hot cartoon character.  She doesn’t even know the name of the character.  She just knows that she’s hot.  Killer Frost, apparently.  Horseface thought it was Killer Freeze.

Horseface…all of the characters look the same.  They all have the same big tits.  They’re all slim.  It’s the same exact fucking body type for every female character.  So you don’t have to mention which ones you find attractive.  Let’s just assume that you find them all attractive and want to have sex with them.  Fine.  Now that that’s established, TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE!

Let me peruse the comments.  I’ll search for “crystal”.  Presumably, this is how Horseface looks at the comments too.

– “Please stop bringing Crystal. I really wanted to watch this topic but i cant stand her.”

In fairness, that was after like 20, “Crystal is hot” comments.  And it was only posted an hour ago, as of me typing this.  Is Tony deleting comments?  

Anyway, back to this dogshit.

13:00 – Crystal is giving her choice for favourite animated Batman movie.  “My first choice is actually going to be Batman Beyond:Joker’s Return.”  Then Tony corrects her, “Return of the Joker.”

She’s a big Batman fan, guys.

This is her favourite Batman animated movie.  And she really likes Batman.  She reads the comics.  She plays the video games.  She’s consuming all of the Batman media.  

Doesn’t know the name of her favourite Batman animated movie.

At first I was thinking, “Well, who cares?  I don’t know the names of any Batman animated movies.”  But that’s because I don’t give a fuck about this stuff.  I don’t pretend to be a middle aged Batman fan. Horseface does.  

16:30 – “What I liked also was the colours in this movie, like when they’re in the club scene and stuff like that.  I thought that those colours were really cool.  A lot of colours were awesome in this movie.”

Erin is watching this shit and just seething.  Horseface stole her material.  Well, maybe as revenge, Erin can start talking about how hot she is and how everybody wants to have sex with her.

17:00 – Tony gives a weird shout out to his sister who might be “popping out twins” as we watch this.  Umm…what can I even say?  Let’s move on.

19:45 – Horseface struggles to remember the name Commissioner Gordon.  She got “Commissioner” out but took a while to remember “Gordon”.

Now, come on.  I don’t give a fuck about Batman but I know Commissioner Gordon.  From the 1960s tv show.  

Anyway, Horseface is all about Batman.

23:00 – They’re talking about some other movie.  Tony doesn’t like the movie.  Horseface says, “But it’s beautiful too.  The colours?”

Yeah.  Hues, Horseface.  They’re everywhere.  Everywhere you look: colour.  You can’t escape colours.  Well, in the dark, I guess.  But even then, black is a colour.  Maybe we’re getting a little philosophical now.  Colour talk will do that.

44:15 – Horseface is now talking about her second choice.  “It has a lot of adult humour.  Holy shit!”

Eugh.  It’s just constant.  We get it, Horseface.  You’re a very sexual person.  And everybody wants to have sex with you.  Great.  You go do that.

But can you shut the fuck about it for just seventy minutes?  There’s more to life.  Maybe talk about the fucking Batman movies during this.

“I love Harley.  I truly, truly love Harley Quinn.”

One might say that Harley Quinn is a hot chick.  A hot animated chick.  Great.  Do you want to talk about something else, Horseface?

“And the fact that there’s also Poison Ivy.  These are my two favourite female characters.  I’m like, yes.  Yes.”

Another hot cartoon chick who Horseface wants to have sex with.  Guess what, Horseface?  Neither of those cartoon women would give you the time of day.  So talk about something else.

45:00 – “This is the one with Super Babes, right?”

It’s constant with her.  Then she has the nerve to come to a fine blog like GamerGrrlsOfficial and say, “I don’t understand where the hate comes from.”

This is where it comes from.  The constant fucking comments about hot chicks and how hot you are.  She can’t even talk about a CARTOON without talking about hot chicks.

46:00 – Horseface is talking about Super Babes.  “Think of it like Hooters where all the waitresses are dressed up in the sexiest version of like Catwoman and Batwoman and stuff like that.”

This is completely shameful.  There’s something wrong with her.  It’s a cartoon, Horseface.  Can you even watch a fucking cartoon without getting turned on by hot chicks?  

“And the guys are trying to grab her ass and she flips him and breaks his arm, which I think is great.”

Super.

I’m pretty sure that this was just a brief scene in the movie.  But Horseface isn’t shutting up about this.  This is her entire fucking review.  Just this brief scene involving hot cartoon chicks.

47:00 – “Like she’s straight up bending over, just in bra and panties.”

It’s a cartoon, Horseface.  Relax.

God, this is awful.  “Where does the hate come from?  I don’t get it.  I was bullied my whole life over my appearance.”

“And then she straight up sees that he’s hard.”

Is this what the movie is about?  Horseface doesn’t even remember the movie.  She struggled to summarise it.  Then she didn’t even know if this was the movie that had this Super Babes thing in it.  She was talking about how all of the Batman cartoons she’s seen blend together.  But she knows every fucking detail of this Super Babes scene and she’s going to talk about it ad nauseum.  This is her fucking review of the movie.

Tony: It’s a boner.  Like Jesus Christ.

Horseface: Yeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss!!!

I don’t even know what more I can say.  Why is anybody watching this?  Why does Tony encourage this?  Horseface should not be on the fucking show.  She’s terrible.  She’s horrendous.  Every time she’s on here, it’s the same god damn thing.  Hot chicks.  How hot Horseface is.  Everybody wants to have sex with Horseface.  Half a top.  Fuck off.

Okay, I’m at 53:00.  They’ve stopped talking about the movie.  Seriously, watch this entire “review” that Horseface did.  I have NO IDEA what the movie is about because all she did was talk about that one scene in Super Babes.  That’s it.  That’s her review.  What the fuck is this?  How can this possibly be competent?  Who would go on a show like this and have THIS be their review?  Didn’t she write anything out?  Didn’t she plan anything?  

What kind of notes did she take?

– Poison Ivy is hot
– Harley Quinn is hot
– I like hot chicks
– Ass grabbing scene
– Boners are cool

It’s shit.  YOU’RE shit.  Stop appearing on the fucking show.  You’re terrible.  You’re ruining the greatness that is Hack the Movies aka Talking About Tapes.

 54:15 – Tony is talking about his pick.  

Tony: Eliza (somebody) is Catwoman in it.

Horseface: NICE!  NICE!!!

Oh.  Horseface is talking about hot chicks again.

“I don’t understand where the hate comes from.”

Really?  You still don’t?  How much clearer can I make it?

Then Tony says that Brian Cranston is also in this movie.  Horseface has nothing to say.  He’s not a hot chick.  

57:45 – So the video is over but Tony thinks that it’s too short so they’re going to talk about bullshit for the next ten minutes.  He thinks that a 57 minute video is too short.  No.  This was 57 minutes too long.

1:02:00 – Tony says, “Depending how this video does, we can do best Superman animated movie, best Justice League movie.”

Why does every decision have to hinge on how many views you get?  This is exactly why we’re stuck with Horseface.  Horntards like Horseface.  So even though she’s fucking god awful, she’s the most frequent co-host for this shit.

The best co-hosts are Kieran and what’s his name…the fat guy.  I always forget.  Justin Silverman.  But they’re never on here because the horntards aren’t watching that shit.  If the horntards want to watch fat guys, they’ll just jerk off in front of a mirror.

But if you’re interested in actually producing the best videos possible, Kieran and Justin are the obvious choices.  

1:02:00 – Richard Harris starts giving shoutouts to the director of the movies that he chose.  Because this guy is a real thespian.  He knows all about the movie industry.  He played Bar Patron in the 2021 short film Something Borrowed.  Such a memorable role that was.

1:05:15 – Serge Reggiani gives his Instagram account.  What guy uses fucking Instagram?  And this is what he gives as his main social media account.  Instead of Twitter.  He just wants guys to jerk off over how hot he is.

He also says that he has a few movies coming out.  Oh.  Will you playing a security guard again?  Oh no.  He’s Tough Guy this time.  Well, we can all look forward to that.  He’s also Doctor in a recent movie.  Great.

1:05:30 – 

Tony: Crystal, where can we find you?

Horseface: Ooh.  Where do you want to find me?

Let’s just move on.  I don’t want to give my answer.

Horseface: Some dad’s beds?  Because I’m also single.

What?  I feel like I should say something…but it’s also all self-explanatory.  

She says that she broke up with her boyfriend of nine years.  He was an alcoholic.  He had PTSD from some war, presumably.  

And now she’s on Youtube talking about wanting to having sex with people’s fathers?  What?  What is this?   Why would she say that?  It’s grossly disrespectful to this guy.  This guy who, by the way, we never heard ONE WORD about before the relationship ended.  Nine years she was with with that guy.  Never mentioned him.  She wanted the horntards to think that they had a chance.      

What does her answer even have to do with the question?  Tony was asking what her Twitter is.  And her response was, “I want to have sex with people’s fathers.”  It’s insane.

Tony: I told Crystal after the last breakup, stop trying to fix your dad.

Horseface: I don’t want to fix him, I just want to fuck him.

What?  Why is she constantly talking about sex?  And with her father in this case.  

Horseface: I’m very much like Harley Quinn.  

John Wayne: Does Harley want to fuck her dad?

Horseface: Harley just wants to fuck.  I get it.  You’re my spirit animal.

This is vile.  And this is a fucking horse-faced woman saying all of this.  But I guess that’s a secondary issue.  Even if it was a hot chick, WHICH IT ISN’T, this would be tedious in the extreme.  And gross.  And boring.  REALLY, REALLY boring.

Then Tony ends the video by shilling for his Patreon.  You can get wallpaper like it’s fucking 2006.  What about ringtones, Tony?  Can we get some ringtones?