Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPHSmqGqVQU

Erin is a big Pac-Man fan, guys!

I’ll be 80 years old and still remember the time that Erin was playing Pac-Man and she said, “Power pellets?  Is that right?  It sounds wrong to me.”

Last year, she was playing Pac-Man 99 with Mike, on stream, for money.  I reviewed it here:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/05/erin-plays-and-mike-matei-stream-pac.html

Spoiler: Erin didn’t have a fucking clue.  She never played Pac-Man in her life.  PAC-MAN!  Never played it.  Just watch that fucking video.

But she’s back at it with her yearly attempt at Pac-Man, on stream, for money.  

0:00 – “Hey guys!  What’s up?  I’m here with Mike.”

Holy shit.  She remembered his name straight away for the first time ever.  She usually had to think about it.  “I’m here with…Mike?”

“Mike?  Is that right?  It sounds wrong to me.”

0:15 – Immediate edit.  We’re off to a good start.

I watched a few minutes of her recent Castlevania stream.  It’s wholly unwatchable because she edits these videos to shit.  It’s not just unwatchable in the sense that I want to see the embarrassing stuff that she’s trying to hide and write about it.  It’s unwatchable for ANYONE.  She edits out the gameplay.  Nobody can watch this.  You don’t know what the fuck is going on.

Erin says that they played this briefly, off-stream, to unlock all of the games.  You have to play each game twice to unlock other games.  So Erin stresses that they only played the game briefly in order to unlock everything.  That’s it.  They played each game twice.  No more.  She really wants you to know this.

It’s just bizarre.  Did you enjoy any of the games and say, “You know what, Mike?  I want to play this one a third time.  Just in my free time like a normal person.”  No.  That never happened.

0:30 – “One thing I noticed — so you can get things like plants and benches.  So you get little random pieces of furniture kind of like Harmony of Dissonance.  You get furniture there.”

This is the previous game that Erin played.  On stream, for money.  This is all that she can do.  She has no experience at all with video games other than what she plays on stream, for money.  And she can’t even remember games that she streamed in months or years past so all of her references are about games that she streamed recently.

The game gives you furniture.  You know what game I would compare this to?  Animal Crossing.  This is the game that ANYONE with ANY knowledge or experience with video games would compare it to.  Not fucking “Harmony of Dissonance”, you fucking fraud.

Anyway, Mike just ignores that idiotic comment.  He knows full well that it was an idiotic comment that just exposed Erin as a fraud.

0:45 – “But look what else is here.  First we had Kirby in the Forgotten Land and now this.”

Kirby in the Forgotten Land is the game that she streamed immediately prior to “Harmony of Dissonance.”  This is all that she can do.

1:15 – So she gets a ghost from some capsule machine and says, “Clyde!  That’s the one I wanted!”

At first I was thinking, “Wow.  She knew the name of the yellow ghost?  That’s amazing.  Who the fuck knows the names?”

Then I re-winded.  The names of the ghosts are underneath each of them in this virtual machine.  She was just referencing something that she saw seconds earlier.  And she thinks that we all know the names of the ghosts in Pac-Man.  She thinks that this is common knowledge and she’s trying to fool us into believing that she knows the names.

Then she tells a story about how in Kirby in the Forgotten Land, there’s a system where you can display the little virtual items that you get on like a shelf or something.

Oh.  So like in Smash Brothers Melee?  That would have been my reference because my video game experience isn’t limited to stuff that I’ve recently played on stream, for money.  Unlike Erin.

Erin also keeps calling it a “gashapon machine”.  Again, she’s using a term that…fucking giant nerds and people in Japan might use this term but the only reason that Erin keeps using it is because the word is written on the machine and she thinks that this is common knowledge.  She thinks that people call these things “gashapon machines.”

2:45 – “Look at the coin machine!  I’m all over the place because I haven’t streamed in like four days so there’s so much to talk about.”

Oh, do fill us in, Erin.  What have you been doing for the past four days that’s been so interesting?  She’s just packing her days with adventures.  Did you go to Wawa and get some coffee?  Did you cry in the bathtub?  Come on.  We want details.

3:00 – Erin starts talking about tabletop change machines that she claims used to be in arcades.  She asks if Mike ever saw them.  He furrows his brow.  

What the fuck is she talking about?  

Erin says, “Like the coin machines you would see in any arcade in the 90s.  I assume the 80s too.”

Mike replies, “Right, right, right, right.”

He has no fucking idea what she’s talking about.  This is all bullshit.  Tabletop coin machines?  It seems like they’d be stolen pretty quickly.  Are they bolted to the table?  I’ve never seen or heard of such a thing.

Let’s see if DuckDuckGo can assist.

“Tabletop coin machine”.  Well, I’m seeing toys.  Toys for those coin pusher games.  

“Tabletop change machine”.  Maybe that would be better.  No.  I’m only seeing full-size change machines.  

Maybe if I add the word “arcade”.  No.  Nothing.  Whatever she’s talking about, it likely doesn’t exist.  And sure as fuck wasn’t ubiquitous to the arcade industry in the 1980s and 1990s.  

But Mike is just going along with this.  Why not expose her for being a total fraud?  

Erin: You can get a tabletop little version of them.

Mike: You can?  From where?

Erin: I don’t know but I’ve seen them before.  I think that you guys know.

Not me.  But I’ve figured out what she’s talking about.  She’s just talking about a modern product that’s like a mini change machine.  Who gives a fuck?

Oh, yeah.  There are USB power hubs in the shape of old change machines.  

God.  Erin can really tell a story.  I had no fucking idea what she was talking about and Mike still doesn’t know.

4:15 – Mike suggests playing Pac-Man.  Erin says, “Why don’t you play Pac-Man first” and hands him the controller.

It’s your stream, Erin.  We’re here to watch you play games.  

She doesn’t want to do this.  She knows that she’s bad at every game and doesn’t want to do any of this shit.

5:00 – “Hope you play Pac-Land later?  Oh yeah.  We will.”

Erin sounded really nervous when she said this.  Pac-Land was the first video of Erin’s that I saw.  I could not fucking believe what I was seeing.  She had no fucking clue what was going on.

9:00 – Mike has been talking about how he likes that people are still making homebrew games for the Atari 2600.  Erin pretended to know what he was talking about.  Then Erin says, “And I like that there are Vectrex homebrews.”  Mike just ignores this.  He knows that she’s lying.  He knows that she knows nothing about Vectrex.  He knows that she doesn’t give a fuck about Vectrex.

Name some of your favourite Vectrex homebrews, Erin.  We want to know.  Give us the names.  Which ones are you currently playing in your spare time?

10:00 – Somebody asks what games Erin doesn’t want to play on stream, for money.  She has no clue.  She doesn’t know any games.  How is she going to answer this?  So Mike immediately jumps in to try to salvage this.

10:45 – Mike’s game is over.  So it’s going to be Erin’s turn to play Pac-Man now.  Right?  Let’s find out.

Nope.  Erin says, “I mean, I love regular Pac-Man but there’s just so much to play.”

Watch that Pac-Man 99 video.  She clearly never played Pac-Man in her life.  That hidden gem.

So let’s stop here.  There’s another two and a half hours of Erin’s lies to get through.  I’m going to have to break this into 16 parts at this rate.