How Can YOU Identify Game Packaging Differences – Zap Cristal

It’s Zap “Too Hot to be an Influencer” Cristal talking in a weird manner.  She’s doing her best teacher voice but she’s a complete dolt so it doesn’t work.

And has she gained weight or has she always been this size?  She better watch out.  Soon she’s going to be Zap “Too Fat to be an Influencer” Cristal.

Anyway, the title of the video doesn’t even make sense.  I had to stop the video at 1:45.  She’s unwatchable.  But from what I saw, it’s about region locking.  She’s explaining what region locking is for anyone in the audience who doesn’t know.

I suspect that she knew that it was a bad title.  So a couple of days later, she released a “short” that was simply advertising this video.  Here’s the short:

I hate Youtube shorts so fucking much.  I don’t want the video to repeat.  I don’t like how the video is vertically-orientated.  I don’t like how the comments section is different.  Fuck all of this.

Anyway, in the description she gives her new PO box, “For those that have been requesting it to send packages from the community”.  

Was ANYBODY requesting this?  

I’m reminded, in the early days of the internet, there was a website where you could order dog shit.  It was openly done as a way to prank people.  The guy said that he had two dogs and you could choose which dog’s poop you wanted to send.  I think later he also expanded his services to soiled diapers.  He must have been blessed with a baby.

He had an FAQ and he said that if you want to keep it a secret, you shouldn’t ask the person questions like, “Did you receive any interesting packages lately?”  So this was definitely done as a way to send excrement to people you don’t like.

Later, he mentioned some legal issues and the site was gone not long afterwards.  But it was up for a good while.

Are there still sites like this?  Let me look this up.

Sendshit dot co dot uk.  You can send pig, donkey, cow, or horse shit.  And it’s openly advertised as a prank.  

Yeah, there are a lot of these sites.  That’s surprising.  There’s no way that this can be legal.

I’m not recommending anyone do this to Zap Cristal or to anyone else, but I was just reminded of this.

Oh, she’s also on Patreon.  She has 4 (FOUR) “patrons”.  $35 a month.  Let the good times roll.

She’s also on Discord.  Unlike SupaPixelGirl, Zap actually seems to write shit in here semi-regularly.  Chatting with the handful of horntards who go there.

All of her fine links can be found here:

Here’s her Twitter:

Ha!  She lists her job as “social media influencer”.  She’s not influencing shit.  It’s just another term for “unemployed”.

Oh my god.  She has some “sexy” pictures on here.  I will not link to them but…it’s just a fat middle aged housewife from Texas.  “Too hot to be an influencer” indeed.

She mostly talks about video games.  Sometimes she talks about Christian fundamentalist bullshit disguised as general new age philosophy.  Like here:

I keep reminding myself how truly amazing it is to be ALIVE! The fact that I’m here breathing and making this tweet is sometimes what we take for granted. Living today to its fullest cause tomorrow is not promised. This goes for you too! So stay rad and game on #grateful

Uh huh.  Zap Cristal LIKES being alive.  Well, good for you, Zap Cristal.  That’s really inspiring.  We should all be grateful for the miracle of breathing and be able to tweet boring bullshit, the way God intended.  

So some guy says, “It’s not like it’s bad ALL the time….but aren’t you tired of working to survive, instead of enjoying the life you have?”

He’s questioning the very basis of society.  Did God really intend for us to work 40+ hours a week while some rich asshole profits from our labour?  Isn’t there a better way?

Not according to guru Zap Cristal there isn’t.

You got the power to change it to however you want life to be for you. And it might sound cliché but its true. The people who are the happiest are usually who take control over their life and careers to be. There will be ups and downs but it’s what you make of it at the end.

Oh.  I have the power to change.  So it’s my fault that I don’t have as much money as Alan Greenspan.  This is a moral failing on my part.  

And do I even want as much money as Alan Greenspan?  The guy who wrote that message wasn’t complaining that he wasn’t getting paid enough.  He was complaining about the entire system.  Why do we need to work so much?  Why is there always some fat cat parasite profiting off of our labour?

But Zap’s idiotic answer was, “Go get a better job.”  No, dumbass.  That wasn’t the issue.  

I think that it’s well established that if things were equitably distributed, we should only have to work about ten hours a week.  And there’s enough food to feed everybody on earth six times over.  These are statistics that I heard twenty years ago.  It’s surely even more favourable now.

So why are we working 40+ hours a week?  Why is somebody profiting off of our labour?  Isn’t there a better way to run a society?  Didn’t Jesus once say, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”?  Shouldn’t we be rising up against these evildoers?

Nope.  If you don’t like your job at Walmart, just send an application to Target.  Take control of your life.

Fucking fat retard.

3 thoughts on “How Can YOU Identify Game Packaging Differences – Zap Cristal

  1. She sure does have a lot of videos about Resident Evil. Maybe her and Kieran are destined to be together.Speaking of Kieran. If you haven't seen the Alien 3 HTM yet, you will most likely want to kill yourself when you see the “intro” with him in it at the start of it. It's….a lot of cringe to take in. Like beyond them knowing it's cringe and doing it anyway. The fact they still made it knowing that, just doubles down on it.

  2. Yeah, I saw the intro and it was awful but then I tried to watch the rest of the video and I couldn't do it. So I don't know if I'll do a review of it. I have a half-assed review of the Joe Bob Briggs video for tomorrow, though. I mostly just fell asleep.

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