https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWi-m6E-_Nc
0:00 – “Hey everyone.”
Whoa! New intro. What happened to “Hey guys!”? I think that she also has new glasses.
Mmm…I’m not sure. I’m looking at earlier videos. Maybe the glasses are new? It doesn’t matter anyway. What matters is that we get the old school Erin Plays content that we all know and love. A 35 year old woman with absolutely no interest in or experience with video games, pretending to give a fuck about this nerd bullshit.
So today, we’re going to learn all about the Playdate. Erin is a big Playdate fan. She’s been playing this thing for hundreds of hours, all in her spare time, and now she’s ready to review it. Carpal tunnel be damned.
Oh, she’s also helpfully time-stamping everything. Here are the time-stamps she gives:
00:00 – Intro
00:09 – Console and hardware
04:13 – Games
That is the most lazy, useless, idiotic time-stamping I’ve ever seen. More nonsense from Zero Effort Erin.
“It’s yellow, it’s tiny, it looks like an even cuter version of the Game Boy Pocket.”
Is anybody being informed by any of this? Do we need to know the fucking colour? WE CAN SEE IT!
0:15 – “This thing grabbed my attention right away.”
Oh, do tell, Erin.
“So when they reached out and asked if I would like to be sent one to review…”
Ohhhhhh. Now it all makes sense. This is an advertisement. She’s getting paid for this. She doesn’t give the slightest of fucks about this.
Then she gives some specifications that she found from Wikipedia dot com. Like screen size and whatever.
She keeps calling this thing a “console”. It’s even in the title. That’s not right, is it? There are consoles and there are handhelds. This is a handheld.
Well, far be it from me to question a video game expert like Erin Plays. It’s a console.
1:15 – “Paddle or knob controllers have existed already since the Pong console or the Atari days.”
What’s the relevance? This isn’t a paddle or “knob controller”. This is like those fishing controllers for the Dreamcast and maybe there were other examples of this on other consoles. You know what I’m talking about, Erin? Those fishing controllers? Used for fishing games. Same fucking thing. Totally unlike a paddle or “knob controller.”
2:00 – Totally black screen. What amazing footage this is.
3:00 – “Wow, did my hand get tired after trying some of these games.”
Shout out to her fake carpal tunnel syndrome.
3:45 – “Since I received mine for review purposes, I was able to unlock all of the games rather quickly.”
She’s talking about how the games are released in “seasons”. There are 24 games this season. So I guess that the games… are unlocked somehow? And she got some kind of a code to unlock everything? Nothing is explained. What the fuck is this? Are the games free or what?
Oh. She explains after this. If you buy the “console”, you get two games and then every week another two games are unlocked. Or something. So she got some kind of code, I guess, to unlock everything right away because this is a commercial that she’s doing.
4:30 – Some female character kicks a male character in the testicles and Erin really focuses on this. She does this kind of thing a lot. Weird, vaguely sexual references to appease the horntards.
By the way, this is the first game that she’s “reviewing”. She can’t beat the first fucking level. Then she says, “I don’t actually think there is a way to make it on time unless I was playing it wrong and missed something.”
The first level. And in her “review” she says that the first level CAN’T be beaten. This is what she honestly believes.
She played this thing once, briefly, poorly, and now she’s “reviewing” it. This irresponsible bullshit review where she says that the first level CAN’T be beaten.
It’s preposterous. Of course it can be beaten. She’s just a fucking moron.
6:15 – Footage of some golf game. And Erin is REALLY bad at the game.
6:45 – “I appreciate the Vectrex-inspired style here.”
Shout out to Erin’s fake fondness for the Vectrex.
9:00 – “This game immediately impressed me with its cuteness.”
Riveting stuff, Erin.
By the way, she’s just giving like 30 second “reviews” of these shitty games that she played once, briefly, poorly, for the purposes of this advertisement.
9:15 – “The character uses a shovel to do everything so the game was clearly inspired by Shovel Knight.”
Oh sure. Every game that uses a shovel is a Shovel Knight rip off. Fucking idiot.
11:15 – “I didn’t want to spend too much time with this one.”
OR WITH ANY OF THEM! Stop the fucking farce. You have no interest in this bullshit.
I’m actually into video games. Sort of. I mean, I play them all day. But I’m not not interested in this bullshit.
11:45 – She claims that some game is “addictive”. She’s used this word many times in this video. It’s a word that she uses many times generally when talking about video games. And it’s all complete bullshit because Erin does not play video games. Hence, she’s not “addicted” to ANY game.
13:45 – She’s playing some surfing game, poorly, for the first and last time ever, and the words “POOR ATTEMPT” appear just as she says “radical”.
15:15 – Then she tells you where you can buy this piece of shit. ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY NINE DOLLLARS.
That’s a hard pass. This is shit. It’s a complete piece of shit. The games are shit. The “console” itself is shit. I don’t want this. Who would? Who’s the target audience for this thing? Fans of shitty games? You can play all of the shitty games that you want right now, for free, on the internet. There are billions of them.
And I don’t just mean the pirated stuff. There are also all of those shitty Flash games. I know that Flash is gone now, but you can download Flashpoint and you can automatically download either the entire 100,000 Flash games that they’ve compiled, or just pick and choose which games you want to download. All legal. I guess. Sort of. And free. A lifetime of shitty games. How many more shitty games does anybody possibly need? I’m supposed to PAY $179 for 24 more shitty games? No thanks.
Oh, and this piece of shit isn’t even out yet. They claim that they’re going to release this in 2023. But be sure to pay now for something that you won’t get until 2023. If you’re lucky.
God, that was fucking terrible. Another god awful video from Erin.
– ” All the games look like Tech demos.”
Indeed.
– “Can’t say I was looking forward to a tiny black and white handheld with no backlight for $180.”
Yes.
– “hey Erin. I watched your kirby stream tonight. wish I could chat but you still have me banned for covid comments way in the past. still a fan. unban me please. thanks bye.”
What ever happened with covid? It was all the rage for a few years and now…nothing. People aren’t wearing masks any more. Not even on trains. Are there still travel restrictions anywhere? I never got vaccinated and now I’m hearing that healthy people SHOULDN’T get vaccinated. That’s the official advice now. I’m so confused. Where are the piles of bodies that we were promised?
– “Where can I buy this”
Didn’t you watch the video. She gives the link where you can pre-order this thing at the end. Did you just blow your load after the first five minutes and turn the video off?
– “Great review! However, everything about this device looks terrible.”
– “i wanna playdate with Erin”
– “Erin I mean no offense and I’m only trying to help. You seem more like you’re selling it than reviewing it and I’m only 2 minutes in. Nothing wrong with liking a product your reviewing but ya know…”
Indeed.
– “I don’t care how many crank sticks it has, 179 bucks is freaking ridiculous.”
– “Garbage, like your video editing.”
Hilarious. Not sure how that comment hasn’t been deleted and the user banned.
– “Are you a collector or a hobbyist?”
Neither, of course. But Erin replies, “Well, I wouldn’t really consider myself a “collector,” since I only own/buy games and consoles that I’d actually want to play, so I’d say hobbyist.”
So…she doesn’t buy games. I mean, what she said is technically true but it’s just more obfuscation.
Anyway, the boys on Reddit say that “Cinemassacre” is promoting this video.
It would appear that “Cinemassacre” promoted the video on Facebook.
This used to happen all of the time when Miki controlled things. He’d promote Erin’s shitty videos on the Youtube “community” tab. Then when he sold the channel to Screenwave, that stopped.
But it seems that Mike is involved with the channel again. He’s writing AVGN videos now. So maybe he re-acquired the channel or a share of it.
It’s completely bizarre that the channel was never owned by James Rolfe. But in reality, he was always just the actor anyway. It was Mike writing all of this shit. And when Mike sold the channel to Screenwave, Screenwave wrote all of this shit.
James Rolfe has always just been an autistic puppet in this whole thing. And that’s weird as fuck. Because everybody thought that it was his channel and he was doing all of this. No. He was doing NOTHING.
Anyway, it seems that Mike has some controlling stake in the channel again because Erin is getting promoted on there again. But I don’t care how much promotion Erin gets, it will never be a success. Because just watch the fucking videos. They’re horrendous.
I was gonna tell you about them promoting this on facebook, but it's worse than that and they've honestly been doing this for a long time now. Like I remember last Fall them promoting one of her vids and the comment section is always amazing because every time it's this war between her simps and people who know how idiotic things really are/people who have no idea who she is lol. It's such a shitstorm.
Yeah, the advertising of Erin never has a positive impact. People know how bad her content is, they know the sleazy reason of why it's being aggressively advertised, and they don't like it.
This is an example of how, even with all of the marketing push and inside advice of seasoned youtube 'producers', you can still manage to fuck it up. I guarantee that Ryan and Mike have both given in depth youtube strategy to this mcdonald's ketchup headed scam artist. Info that most creators would kill for. But Erin deep down holds all of this in contempt, like most females in any previously male-dominated hobby. That's the reason her channel is about games, too. So it can be part of the Screenslob umbrella. Well, that and the fact Erin has no real interests. The few girls that do like video gaming gravitate towards shit like Fortnite and WoW where their male teammates can carry them and they can get constant attention. It's not fucking 8-bit knockoffs with a crank that looks like those emergency radios they donate to nigeria.