Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E08l4BaXdFI

Here are the previous parts:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/03/two-and-half-hour-interview-of-newt.html

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/03/two-and-half-hour-interview-of-newt_0691509559.html

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/04/two-and-half-hour-interview-of-newt.html

I left off at 1:30:00.  Newt and this guy were talking about Batman or some boring shit.

I’m pretty sure that this interviewer is trying to look like Kevin Smith, by the way.  

1:32:00 – Now they’re talking about religion for some reason.  This interviewer says, “I am fucking native and stuff.  My wife and her fucking family are Catholic and everything.”

He said “native”, right?  I listened to this three times.  What does that mean?  

Then they get into some Theology for Dummies shit.

I’m reminded of the ninth grade.  I had a priest teaching us.  SUPER gay.  He was a young guy.  This was in the 1990s.  This was a time when older priests tended to become priests because they felt some kind of spiritual calling whereas younger priests tended to enter the priesthood because they were repressed homosexuals who were trying to run away from their homosexual feelings.  This raised something of a rift between younger priests and older priests.  

It’s a generational thing.  Up until I’d say the 1960s or 1970s, the US was still a pretty religious place and Catholics would go to church and whatnot.  So in that sort of environment, it would be understandable that somebody would want to join the priesthood.  Religion was a big part of life in those days.  

But by the 1980s, forget it.  The only person who wanted to become a priest would be a closeted homosexual.  I don’t care how religious you are, nobody else would want to become a priest.  The men becoming priests from this point forward are religious, I’m not saying otherwise, but they’re gay.  They’re trying to avoid eternal damnation and the priesthood is the perfect cover.  Nobody is going to ask why you’re not married, don’t have children, whatever.  And it’s a way to, in theory, to not act on your homosexual urges.  

You look at nuns, for example.  They used to be a big part of society up until, again, the 1960s or 1970s.  Now when was the last time you’ve seen a nun?  The profession no longer exists.  The country became more secular.  

And the people who became nuns back in the day were women who were unable to find husbands.  And maybe some of them had spiritual reasons.  But by the 1960s or 1970s, this all went away.  And they weren’t replaced by lesbians, as far as I’m aware, because I guess there’s just not that much of a stigma against lesbians as there is against homosexual men.

So anyway, I had this homosexual priest as a teacher.  And he gave us an assignment asking about our religious beliefs.  So I wrote that I don’t believe that it’s a sin to abstain from going to church.  Something like this.  It’s the same adolescent bullshit that Newt and this guy are talking about.  And I got the assignment back giving faint praise for my bravery for saying this.

I didn’t even think that it was anything shocking.  Who the fuck goes to church anymore?  This was the 1990s.  But this gay priest really thought that this was blasphemous stuff.  Does the bible even mention going to church?   How could it?  Nobody was going to church in those days.  How could they?  Jesus was still alive in these stories.  There was no Christianity.

And the fourth commandment doesn’t state that you have to go to church.  It just says don’t do any work on the Sabbath.  And this was a Jewish thing anyway.  They were talking about fucking Saturday.

Then there was another time…did I tell this Satanist story?  Let me check the archives.  I’m not seeing it.

So this was also in the ninth grade.  Same gay priest teacher.  We had to go on a “retreat”.  Some kind of spiritual bullshit.  Other places might do this kind of thing in the woods or somehow make a trip out it but we (fortunately) did it during school hours and it was just a “retreat” to the school rectory (where the priests live).

There were a bunch of painful as fuck “games” that we had to play.  The sort of “team building” shit that you do at office “parties”.  

So there was one where somebody was “it” and they had to sit on somebody’s lap.  We were all seated in a circle around the person who was “it”.  The person in the centre would choose somebody to sit on their lap, tell them that they love them, and the person whose lap was being sat on had to say, “I love you too but I also love people who (whatever).”   It could be “have red hair”, for example,  So then everybody who had red hair had to jump up and find a different seat to sit in.  It was sort of like musical chairs.  And the person who was left standing was the new “it”.  Rinse and repeat.

What on earth this has to do with the Risen Lord, I have no fucking idea.  Indeed, this game is wholly inappropriate to be played by ninth graders.  But this is what we were doing.  At a fucking religious retreat.  And this was all supervised by this priest.  It was probably his idea.  A game that they used to play in seminary, perhaps.

So I did my best not to draw attention to myself.  I never got up from my chair.  Eventually, one of the older classmates who was helping to run this shit called me out on this.  He was some black guy.  Fuck him.  I’m not doing this shit.

But then a fat guy was “it” and this black upperclassman exempted him from having to sit on anyone’s lap.  But I knew this fat guy and as sort of joke, he chose me.  He didn’t sit on my lap but I had to get up and run this time because I was picked as the person.  Fortunately, I found a chair.

Now that I think about it, I can’t remember how often it was same sex and how often it was different sex in terms of who people chose to sit on their laps.  I assume that it was mostly opposite sex.

So anyway, I was counting down every second of this nightmare.  Then we broke off into smaller groups to talk about our feelings and God and whatever.  Oh fuck.  I wanted no part of this either.  And there’s some upperclassman girl running this fiasco now.  

I just…I hated this shit.  I hated anything like this.  I’ve gone my whole life hating this kind of shit.  It’s just how some people are.  Loads of people are like this.  They hate this fucking team-building bullshit.  

So I just sat there and contributed as little as possible.  

So this girl fucking tells the priest that I’m a Satan worshiper.  For what?  Because I don’t want to play these bizarre, sexual games?  Because I don’t want to open up about my feelings and religious beliefs in front of my classmates?  People who I potentially have see for the next four years?  Fuck you.

Then the next day, the priest comes into class, he’s our teacher, I remind you, and he talks about how the retreat went.  He mentions that there was a Satanist at this thing.  He’s talking about me.  And for what?  Where did this come from?  He’s relying on the word of this dumb bitch who just didn’t like me because I didn’t participate in that bullshit.  So now somebody who’s reserved and wants to maintain his dignity is automatically a follower of Satan?  Show me where it says that is in the bible, you fucking faggot.  I’m happy to show you passages in the bible that condemn your lifestyle.  God burned down two fucking cities over the shit that you do.

Anyway, I digress.  Back to Newt Wallen.

1:34:00 – Oh.  This “native” thing that this guy was talking about is something to do with smoking marijuana.  What a douche.

Then Newt talks about how he’s an “energy guy”.  Talks about negative energy and whatnot.  Go fuck yourself.

1:35:30 – Newt then says that he doesn’t like Christmas because a bunch of bad stuff happened to him on Christmas.  Everybody please take a moment to pity Newt Wallen.

1:36:30 – Shout-out to Crystal Quin.  He actually uses her name.  He slipped up.  Newt was delivering a dress to her.  She was going to be a seat-filler at the Tony Awards.  She was using Newt to get this sweet gig.

Think of how crazy this is.  Horseface was using Newt Wallen.  For what?  What can Newt give her?  A seat-filler job at the Tony Awards?  A role in Newt’s shitty movie?  A guest role on a little-known Youtube show?  It’s crazy.  Who would take the time to use somebody for such pitiful crap?  But that’s what she was doing.

1:42:45 – “Every day I get better and better and I want to prove to people that I’m not a thief and I’m not a piece of shit and I’m not a pity party guy.”

Well…keep working on it, Newt.  I’m all about self-improvement.

1:48:15 – “Robin Williams killed himself.”

Right…

“One of the funniest dudes who ever lived killed himself.”

Wait…are we still talking about Robin Williams?  That guy was as funny as a rubber crutch.  How do you like these old expressions?  I’m bringing them back.

Anyway, Newt is talking about what a sad clown he is.  I get the sad part but where’s the clown?  Newt isn’t funny.  I can’t think of a single (intentionally) comedic thing that he ever said.  

1:53:30 – The interviewer asks, “Where do they shoot that stuff?”

This was the first question that he asked this entire time.  THIS is the question that he was dying to ask.  Newt replied, “In the studio in the office.”

Yeah.  We know.  What a brainless question.  Where did he think the podcast and Talking About Tapes aka Hack the Movies was shot?  What the fuck.

1:54:30 – Then he asks where AVGN is filmed.  Newt says that James has a studio in his house.  

Yeah.  We knew this too.  Who is this guy?  Where did these questions come from?  

Then they talked about Spider-Man, Batman, and Star Wars for the rest of the video.  WHO CARES?  Actually, I stopped at 2:08:00.  I couldn’t take it any more.  But I assume that it’s more of the same for the remaining 15 minutes.

Let’s check out the comments.

– “Boy did those 2.5hrs fly by. I could listen to Newt and his stories all day. Can’t wait to see part 2.”

Madness.

– “This was great, been following newt since hack the movies, he made that show watchable.”

Yeah, this is more reasonable.  I can agree with this.  Watchable.  That’s the right word.  Not good.  Just watchable.  Barely.

Somebody replies, “I only watch episodes without a certain individual these days. Newt was my favorite on the show. The mighty ducks episode is the best with his stories about pee wee hockey.”

I suspect that he’s talking about Horseface.  I agree entirely with this sentiment.  She’s horrendous.

So that was Newt Week.  Wow.  It’s been an adventure.  We just have to wait for part two of this epic interview to drop.  I’m on tenterhooks here.  What is he going to reveal next?  The secret to James’ hair?  Whether or not Tony has body odour?  The typical lunch of Justin Silverman?  How many times a day he masturbates to Crystal Quin?  We want to know.